


Awaiting on You

by Rini, Saklani



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-25
Updated: 2011-02-25
Packaged: 2017-10-15 22:52:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 64,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/165677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rini/pseuds/Rini, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saklani/pseuds/Saklani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shy, awkward Jensen Ackles attends his sister’s debut party and is saved from the unwanted advances of Lady Jessica Alba by the dashing Jared Padalecki.  He is grateful, especially when Jared makes an effort to befriend him and bring him out of his shell.  Little does he suspect that Jared has an agenda of his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Our second Harlequin, but our first official one for a comm! We’re so excited. And this turned into a giant labor of love, so we hope everyone enjoys!

Lord Jensen Ackles, the second son of the Duke of Kent, sighed and did his best to melt into the papered wall at his back.  In the crush of people at the fourth ball in as many nights, he figured that few would miss him if he completely disappeared.  It was Mackenzie's coming out year, and the entire family had been commanded to town in order to show the solidarity of their family.  Since the event that night was his sister's actual debut party, he knew his family would be angry if he left before any of the guests.  So, Jensen stood with his well-dressed back to the wall, near a quiet corner, and hoped that no one noticed him.

Across the room, Lord Jared Padalecki, a second son himself, watched the actions of Jensen Ackles with a slight smile.  He had come to cast an eye over Mackenzie Ackles, see if she was worth a little dalliance, but found himself much more interested in her older brother.  Jared licked his lips, as his gaze took in all of Jensen's many charms, which the man took great pains to hide as he pressed against the wall like a timid mouse.  
   
Jared's grin widened when he noticed Lady Jessica Alba sweep across the room, eyes fixed on Jensen.  Like himself, Jessica had a taste for pleasures of the flesh, especially when it was fresh and unspoiled.  And now, she had her sights set on Jensen Ackles.  But Jared suspected that her direct, claws out approach would not work very well this time.  He settled back to watch the fun.

When the vision of beauty approached, Jensen took great pains not to groan out loud.  Lady Jessica was a family friend of his mother's, and he'd met her a few times over the years.  He pasted on a polite smile and nodded his head in her direction.  "Good evening, Lady Jessica.  You are in fine form tonight."

Lady Jessica smiled flirtatiously and purred, "This is a fine debut ball for your sister, Lord Jensen.  Indeed, she is lucky to have such a fine family to watch over her.  I might wish for such a strong, handsome man to help me."  She danced her fingers lightly on Jensen's right arm.

Jensen blinked at the hand moving over his arm and cleared his throat.  He fervently wished for his glasses, the inability to clearly see her expression left him unnerved.  "Thank you, Lady Jessica.  Mackenzie is having a good season, and we're all only too happy to indulge the baby of the family."

Jessica stepped closer, smile tipping into the seductive.  "And what about yourself, Lord Jensen?  Do you not deserve a little indulgence?"  Her hand worked up his arm to squeeze his shoulder.  
   
"I rarely indulge, Lady Jessica."  Jensen smiled politely at her, but did his best not to encourage her attentions.  "I quite prefer the quiet country life that I lead."  He turned his gaze out on the crowd of people and shivered slightly when he realized that the crush had nearly doubled in size.

Jessica took advantage of his turned head to press against Jensen's side, stroking his chest in a way that nobody else could see.  "All alone in the country?" she simpered, nearly kissing his ear.  "That's no way for such a handsome man to live.  You need companionship..." 

Jensen whipped toward her and shook his head.  "No really, Lady Jessica. I do quite well on my own."  Reaching out, Jensen awkwardly patted her shoulder and attempted to step aside to put more space between them.  He only succeeded in backing himself further into the corner and with no way to escape.  "I am certain you must have a full dance card this evening, Lady Jessica.  I would hardly want to monopolize your time."

Jessica almost salivated at Jensen's shy responses.  Not deterred, she followed after him and said, "I saved room for you, Lord Jensen.  Please do not distress me by refusing me the honor of standing up with you tonight..."  Her eyes promised that she would also be quite willing to lie down with him that night.

Jensen blushed a light shade of red and ducked his head at the look in her eyes.  He knew nothing of flirtations, and Lady Jessica slowly made him more and more uncomfortable.  "You saved a dance for me?  Surely there are others better suited to dance with you."  He blinked at her again and then looked out over the crowd, dreading the thought being in the midst of them.

"Are you refusing?" Jessica asked with a slight pout.  Her full lower lip trembled.  "Well, I simply will not let you do so."  She took his hand and pulled him toward the dance floor, certain he would follow her.  
   
"Oh no, I would never."  And before Jensen knew it, Lady Jessica dragged him forcefully onto the dance floor.  "Lady Jessica, are you quite certain you wish me to dance with you?"  Jensen's entire body was stiff with discomfort in the face of causing a scene at his sister's ball.

Lady Jessica lifted her perfect chin and looked at him with heat.  "Oh yes, Lord Jensen, I am very certain I am making a perfect choice."  The music started, and she swung into the dance, curious to see what Jensen would do.  
   
Reaching out instinctively, Jensen curved his hands around Lady Jessica in just the proper places and then swung her into the first turn of the dance.  He quickly caught the current pace of the song and smiled politely at her while they moved into the pattern with the other dancers.

Lady Jessica beamed as Jensen proved to be more than a capable dancer.  He moved with natural grace, and she just knew that would carry on to _all_ physical activities.  "You are a born dancer, Lord Jensen," she praised.  "I shall not let you go this entire evening."  
   
Jensen flushed at her praise, but paled at the declaration of her intentions.  "I can hardly monopolize you this evening, Lady Jessica.  T'would not be fair to the others who seek your attention."  He scanned the ballroom in hopes of finding a way to escape her.

Lady Jessica laughed in a perfectly pitched sound of merriment.  "My dear Lord Jensen, what care I for others, when I have you?  A lady can ask for no better company."  
   
Opening his mouth to respond, Jensen realized he had no retort, so resisted the urge to say anything and twirled Lady Jessica through the next steps of the dance.  He was well and truly caught by her and without some sort of intervention; Jensen was going to fend off her advances the entire night.

As the music came to an end, Lady Jessica curtsied and then took Jensen's right hand and led him out to one of the secluded balconies.  She tugged him right to a corner and then leaned against him with a little sigh.  "Ah, this is much better."  
   
Jensen followed in her wake, unable to find a way to courteously remove himself from Lady Jessica's company.  However, when she became a bit too familiar again, Jensen stood stiff and unrelenting beside her.  "Lady Jessica, it is hardly appropriate that we be out here unescorted."

Lady Jessica fluttered her eyelashes again and said with the slightest quaver, "Why, Lord Jensen, are you afraid you might do something inappropriate to me if left unchaperoned?"

"No, Lady Jessica, I've no fears on that account, but we both know that society does not necessarily care for the truth in such situations."  Jensen patted her hand where it rested on his arm.

Lady Jessica pouted at Dean, her lips full and inviting.  She caught his hand and squeezed a bit forcefully.  "I've never been so charmingly called ugly before."

Jensen blushed hotly.  "Oh Lady Jessica, my apologies.  I did not intend to imply you were ugly at all.  Quite the opposite, you are a beautiful woman."  

Jessica sniffled and rubbed at her eyes, careful not to disrupt any of her elaborate makeup.  "Well, what else can I think when a man does not even think he might stray slightly from society's norms in my presence?  I can simply hold no interest or beauty to him."

"Lady Jessica, you are beautiful.  I just have no experience in being near a lady such as yourself."  Jensen desperately wanted to be back inside the ballroom.  He'd gladly dance again, if it meant he could get out of the awkward conversation.

Lifting her eyes to look at Jensen with pure hunger, Jessica said, "I can help you gain some experience, dear Lord Jensen."  She unashamedly laid a hand over his groin and rubbed.  "I'm very good at-"

"There you are, Lord Jensen," Jared said, striding out on the balcony.  "I wondered where you disappeared to, after promising to show me around."  He took Jensen's arm and expertly pulled him away from Lady Jessica.  "You must excuse us, Lady Jessica, but my friend here is sadly neglecting his duty."  He tipped her a wink and maneuvered Jensen back into the building and into the safety of a nearby room.

Jensen jumped when Lady Jessica touched him, nearly crying out when a masculine voice called out his name.  In shock and uncertainty, he allowed the stranger to grab him and remove him from the balcony.  He was spun through the room, not seeing a thing until they were firmly ensconced in what Jensen thought was his father's study.  Reaching into his coat pocket, Jensen pulled out his glasses, slipped them on and stared at a man he'd never seen before.  "Who are you?" Jensen asked, completely forgetting the niceties he was used to hiding behind.

"Apparently, your knight in shining armor," Jared said with a perfect, friendly grin that showed off his dimples.  "I am Lord Jared Padalecki, if we wish to do this correctly."  He contained the bolt of lust that shot through him when Jensen pulled on the glasses, which completed his innocent, lost look.

"Oh yes, of course.  Lord Jensen Ackles, at your service, though you had me at a disadvantage by already knowing who I am."  Jensen smiled and felt a bit of the tension seep from his shoulders.  "Was I really to show you around?  I am afraid that no one told me I was needed."

Jared swallowed his astonishment at just how ridiculously naive Jensen Ackles really was and said, "Well, honestly, I merely thought you might need a hand extracting yourself from Lady Jessica's clutches.  However-" he flashed the dimples again "-I've never really been shown around properly."

Jensen blushed a faint red.  "Yes, Lady Jessica is quite a force of nature, is she not?"  He chuckled and looked around his father's study.  "Thank you for the rescue, Lord Jared.  I'd be delighted to show you around."  

"Oh, indeed she is," Jared said, thinking of his own more intimate experiences with her.  He schooled his face into a friendly and harmless expression.  "I would be honored to have one of the lords of the manor give me a tour."

Blushing bright red again, Jensen shook his head.  "No, no, just Jensen, please."  Jensen  
lifted his gaze and smiled shyly at Jared, hoping he wasn't overstepping his bounds by offering the familiarity to someone he'd just met.

Jared's grin widened and dimples deepened.  "And I am Jared.  I never cared much for the title.  Especially since, as a second son, it never really meant anything."  He lifted an eyebrow and said, "A feeling you may share?"

"Most definitely," Jensen asserted vehemently.  "It's always struck me as odd and oddly pretentious.  I mean, my brother will be the Duke someday, and I just try to live my life."  He smiled, a bright and wide smile, feeling more of the tension seep out of him.  "This is father's study, as you could likely guess," Jensen said, sweeping his arm out at the dark and somewhat closed off room.

Jared looked around and said, "I had not really noticed what room I ducked us in.  I merely thought to get away until Lady Jessica looked for another companion."  He surveyed for what he felt would be a respectable time and then turned back to Jensen.  "And what do you do to live your life?"

Jensen blushed and looked down at his hands.  "It's frightfully boring life, Lo- Jared."  He smiled at his own slip up.  "I stay at the family's country estate, do a bit of overseeing there for my father, a good deal of reading and scholarly work."

"Well, at least you are of some use to your family," Jared said.  "I travel around the world and find ways to spend my father's wealth.  What do you study?"   

"I've been studying languages and much about the ancient world.  I'd like to take a tour of the continent at some point, see how much of what we learn is true."  Jensen grinned at Jared, feeling more at ease around the other man than he had around anyone besides his sister.  "Where have you traveled?"

If Jared were anyone else, he might have felt bad about how easy Jensen made everything.  "Well, not all around the world, but through most of Europe and some of the colonies.  I want to go to the New World someday, too, though only for a visit."  He bumped Jensen gently with his shoulder, testing his reaction.  "Maybe I can show you around some of the places I've been."

Jensen thought about it, the idea leaving him feeling warm.  He smiled, one of his shy uncertain smiles, and nodded slowly.  "Perhaps.  I think it would be far better to visit places with someone who is familiar with them.  Would you like to see more of the house?"

Jared answered the shy smile with a bright one of his own.  "Trust me; it's always more fun with another person... a friend."  He gestured for Jensen to move on.  "I'd like to see more of your house, yes.  Hopefully, Lady Jessica has returned to the celebration by now."

"One can only hope, Jared."  Jensen smiled more broadly at him this time and then cautiously opened the door.  With a great sigh of relief, he slipped into the hall way and turned away from the ball.  "We'll still go through the house away from the party so that no one else can stop us."

"I get the sense you do not care much for large gatherings," Jared said, following close behind him.  "You are indeed a devoted brother to be here for your sister's debut, given that fact.  I wish I were as close to my siblings."  He smirked internally, having absolutely no such wish.  Jeff was uptight and completely devoted to his wife and son, while Megan preferred the company of her parents and fiancée.

Jensen flushed, hating how obvious he was.  "Yes, I truly am not fond of these events, but I would do anything for Mackenzie.  She has been my dearest companion."  He refused to think of what the debut would mean, of how he was likely to lose his sister to a marriage in the coming year or two. "Come into the kitchen.  Mrs. Haversham will likely have a sweet or two held aside."  His eyes sparkled at the thought.

Jared bumped Jensen's arm companionably and said, "You can always find another companion, Jensen.  Perhaps a wife of your own."  He beamed at the idea of snacks, since he was always ready to eat.  "I should like something to eat.  I fear I am always hungry.  Perhaps a defect of being so large."  He stretched his tall frame, muscles rippling.

"I've not found a woman to suit me, Jared."  Jensen laughed ruefully.  "Not for lack of trying on my mother's part.  Every year she parades women in front of me to tempt me into marriage."  Shuddering, he looked at Jared with distaste.  "I'd rather live alone than share space with someone who doesn't understand me.  Mrs. Haversham," Jensen called out once he'd pushed through into the kitchen.  "Do you have sweets for me?"

Mrs. Haversham, a plump, matronly woman in her fifties, emerged from the back of the kitchen and frowned a little at Jensen.  "Is that the way you greet me now, Lord Jensen?  Do you have anything for me?"  
   
Jared bit back a laugh at the expression on Mrs. Haversham's face, even as he marveled at how Jensen associated with the lower class woman.  His parents would never allow him to mingle with the servants, not that he had let them dictate his behavior once he reached an age to have a mind of his own.  He loved mingling with every class and tasting the delights of them all.

Jensen flushed and then moved in close to give the woman a hug.  "My apologies," he grinned and sketched a quick bow in her direction.  "I forget my manners when I smell the delightful treats only you know how to make.  I do miss them when I am in the country."  Stepping back, Jensen gestured to Jared.  "This is Lord Jared Padalecki, my new friend."

Mrs. Haversham looked over Jared and made a distinct 'humph' noise.  "Lord Jared is it then?  We shall need more than a few treats to keep this one happy."  
   
Jared threw back his head and laughed in delight.  "Indeed, I fear you are correct, Mrs. Haversham for I can eat my weight in treats and still never be satisfied."  He felt a thrill of satisfaction when Jensen referred to him as a friend so soon.  He had not hoped to manage that quite so quickly.

Jensen laughed as well.  "We only need a few treats for now.  I'm certain there is still a plethora of food available at the ball."  He squeezed her hand and then moved toward the larder before turning a smile over his shoulder at Jared.  “An ale perhaps?"

"An ale would be just about perfect right now," Jared said, following after Jensen.  "You seem to know your way around a kitchen."  
   
"I spent a lot of time hiding from the family in here when I was a kid.  And from visitors."  Jensen grinned, still shy.

Mrs. Haversham brought out a plate heaped with treats and set it on the small table where the servants ate.  "Here are a few goodies for you both.  Mind your manners while you're in here now."  She smiled at Jensen, 'humph'ed again at Jared and then bustled back out.  
   
"I'm glad you're not hiding from me," Jared said.  "I must confess that I see no reason why you should hide from people.  You're handsome, obviously intelligent and with fine manners.  A man like you should be proud and walk amongst other people with head held high." 

Jensen flushed at the praise, but his nerves returned almost instantly.  "I don't do well with many other, Jared.  Especially not at a party like this."  He shook his head and brought two mugs of ale back to the table, concentrating hard to keep a stutter from his voice.

Jared gently took his mug from Jensen's hand, noticing a slight tremor in the fingers.  He sat down in one of the chairs and picked up a baked good, stuffing the whole thing in his mouth.  He chewed and swallowed, before saying, "My compliments to the chef."  He turned his warm eyes and smile back on Jensen, hoping to find him more relaxed again.  "Well, I shall remember to keep you out of crowded places when we tour Europe together then."

"Th- that's usually for the best," Jensen murmured, fighting his stutter and feeling far less confident than he had before.  He kept his eyes on his mug of ale and the puffed pastry dessert in front of him.  Picking gently at the flaky layers, Jensen nibbled at one piece and stole a glance at Jared.  "I'm sure you'd rather be back out at the party, Jared.  Please feel free to return if you like; it shan't offend me."

Jared titled his head, slanted eyes wide with gentle warmth.  "Now, that would be most unkind of me.  And most untrue, as well, for I am having far more fun here, with you, than out on the stuffy dance floor.  I have been to hundreds of these affairs, dear Jensen, and fear they have long since failed to be of any amusement to me.  Like your parents, mine have also seen fit to parade all of the most insipid young ladies in front of me, in hopes that I might take up the yoke of marriage.  Like you, I have escaped such a fate, but not after enduring many such balls and tea parties.  So, you must pardon me if I find enlivening conversation and delicious pastries with you to be many more times better than any other pleasures that might be available tonight."

Jensen blushed again, lifting his lashes enough to look at Jared but not enough to really meet his gaze.  "I am truly enjoying your company, Jared.  And I am glad that you are having a good time here with me."  He nibbled at the pastry again, nerves calming slightly.

Jared felt the thrum of low heat in his belly, as Jensen flicked those long lashes at him, but he schooled it ruthlessly.  Jensen would not be persuaded to bed if Jared acted quickly and aggressively.  No, he required a delicate touch, a gentle seduction, which meant Jared needed to invest time and energy into the relationship.  Jensen would be worth it, though, and Jared hungered already for the day when Jensen lay under him in bed, long legs spread as he accepted Jared deep inside his virginal flesh.  He suppressed another wave of hunger, reminding himself that the thrill was in the chase, not just the capture.    
   
"I am glad to hear you say it, for I was worried that you wished me to leave.  I do not want to cause you distress of fear, Jensen.  That was surely not my intent." 

"Oh no." Jensen looked up quickly, his smile still shy but earnestness in his eyes.  "I do not wish that at all.  I have truly been enjoying our discussion, but was afraid you might wish to return to the amusements at the ball."

Jared leaned forward and said softly, "Then please do not ask such a thing again, Jensen, for you wounded my feelings.  I thought perhaps you did not find me so very interesting after spending such a little time with me."  He lowered his own eyes in an approximation of shyness.  
   
"Oh, I find you quite interesting, Jared, and I shan't offend you again, I promise."  Jensen reached out tentatively and patted Jared's hand quickly before tucking his hand back around his ale.  "I must confess that I am not used to people finding me entertaining in the least."

Jared lifted his head again as Jensen touched him, knowing it was a small, but important victory.  "They must not get to know you very well, then, Jensen.  I hope to know you very well.  Will you be staying in town for very long?"

Jensen blushed and smiled, but shook his head.  "I had not planned to.  The agreement was that I would come to town for the events leading up to Mackenzie's debut and through the following week."  Jensen lowered his eyes before returning his gaze to Jared's.  "But I do not have to leave then... not if I am enjoying my time here.  I know that Mother and Mackenzie would be pleased to have my escort if I were to remain."

Jared resisted the urge to crow over Jensen's willingness to stay in town to be with him.  "There are many fine things to do in town that shall take us away from the maddening crowds.  Have you ever visited the art museums?  Or taken a casual stroll through the parks?"

"My tutors used to take me to the museums as a lesson of sorts.  It was always a lovely time."  Jensen smiled at Jared.  "I've never really strolled through the parks; somehow I managed to convince Mother that all young ladies to be presented to me ought to be done here at home."

Jared scoffed and said, "Seeing museums as a part of lessons and seeing them just for you are very different things, Jensen.  And we can easily avoid the parades of other rich families in the park, if we go the right places."  He answered the smile with one of his own, playing up his friendly appearance.  "Will you not allow me to introduce you to these pleasures?"

Jensen finished off his first pastry and sipped at his ale while thinking about it.  "If you truly wish to, then yes, I think I should like to see these things with you.  It would also be a lovely way to introduce Mackenzie to something other than cobblers and milliners.  I fear she's going to become as brainless as the young ladies Mother has paraded before me."

Jared blinked a few times and then said, "You wish to take you sister with us?  Will it not appear that she and I are courting?"

"Oh, I suppose that it might at that, but if you did not mind, I should dearly like to take her at least once or twice."  Jensen smiled at Jared, beseeching him to agree.  He wanted to spend time with Mackenzie while he could and these would be perfect outings for that.

Well, that was an unexpected twist in his plans, but Jared knew that to deny Jensen's wish would be a potentially fatal blow to his strategy.  He forced a smile, using all his skill to make it realistic, and said, "If that is your wish, Jensen, then I shall be proud to show both of you around."  He sighed internally at the idea of having to act the gentleman with the younger Ackles without the possibility of getting anything out of it.

"Thank you, Jared."  Jensen beamed at Jared, the shyness melting away at the unexpected pleasure of spending time with both Jared and his sister.  "It truly means the world to me to be able to see these places with you.  Besides, it could do you the benefit of having people think you are off the market so you shan't have to deal with other simpering females."

Jared chuckled and shook his head a little at Jensen's reasoning.  "There is no fear of that for me, Jensen.  I am not much of a catch for any smart lady, so once my parents gave up with the parade, I have been left to my own devices.  And well am I happy for it.  I fear your sister is the one who may suffer from being associated with me."

Jensen grinned.  "I am quite certain Mackenzie would be thrilled by that.  She is far livelier than I."  He reached for another pastry and then sipped at his ale.

"She would be thrilled to be associated with me?" Jared asked, lifting both eyebrows.  "Does she not have some gentleman in mind for her future?"

"Not that I can tell, at least not yet."  Jensen grinned.  "Mack is the spoilt one of the family and shall be allowed to wed for love, I believe.  So, I am sure she shall try and meet as many eligible men as she might."

"Wed for love?" Jared asked, as if that were the most incredible thing he had ever heard.  He tapped his fingers on the table, before grabbing another pastry and biting into it.  "She is indeed fortunate."

Jensen shrugged and nodded.  "She is and would have it no other way.  We men, especially the younger sons, are lucky in being able to have the flexibility we have."

Jared suppressed a snort and said, "Well, I shall be honored to meet such a liberated lady.  And I promise to treat her with respect."

"I would expect no less based on how you've treated me and Mrs. Haversham."  Jensen smiled shyly and dragged his finger back and forth next to his beer glass.

"Shall we say two days time, and then I shall start you and your sister's education on the fun to be had in town away from the crowds?" Jared asked, insides curling with delight at Jensen's impression of him.

Jensen smiled.  "Yes, I think that would be lovely, Jared.  Thank you.  Would you like to see the rest of the house?"

Jared looked at the remaining treats, which were really quite delicious.  "May we take these with us?"

Chuckling, Jensen nodded.  "Yes, of course.  We can wrap them in a cloth and share them out on one of the upper balconies."

"Then I should love to continue our tour of the house, Jensen," Jared said, rising smoothly to his feet.  "Especially with you as my gracious host."  
~~~~~~~


	2. On the Town

Jared rolled out of bed early on the day he was meeting Jensen and Mackenzie Ackles, ignoring the protests of his latest bedmate.  "Be gone before I return," he told the man and then began to prepare for the day.  By the time the carriage pulled up to his stoop, he looked like the perfect gentleman, who would never so much as hurt a fly.  Chuckling under his breath, he instructed the driver to take him to the Ackles' domicile.

Jensen sat at the breakfast table with Mackenzie, grinning at her enthusiasm for the day's events.  "Did you enjoy your ball, Mackenzie?  Meet any interesting gentlemen?"  He sipped at his third coffee of the morning and hoped that Jared would be there soon.

Mackenzie Ackles looked up at her brother and felt that overwhelming rush of affection for him that she always did.  Shy, gentle Jensen, whom her parents often referred to with bleak despair as a son who would never amount to anything.  He always ducked gatherings, pled out of all their attempts to find him a wife and preferred quiet solitude with his books to anything else.  But he doted on Mack, and she loved him for it.  "No one especially interesting, Jen," she said.  "I noticed you disappeared."

"I was accosted by Lady Jessica Alba, and she managed to get us into a compromising position."  Jensen blushed and ducked his head.  "Jared, Lord Padalecki, rescued me and we spent most of the evening together.  I showed him the house, had pastries in the kitchen."

Mack noticed the simple happiness in Jensen's voice when he mentioned the man who had saved him and said, "You like this man.  I thought you accepted his invitation out of those perfect manners you cannot help, but you like him."

Jensen blushed a bright red.  "He is a gentleman, Mack.  Courteous and friendly, and he truly did save me, but we have so much in common.  So many things to talk about."  Flicking his eyes down, Jensen's voice softened, "He's the first real friend I've had in a long time."

Mackenzie reached out and squeezed Jensen's hand, not really able to answer through the lump in her throat.  She wanted her brother to be happy, to make friends and find a place in the world where he felt safe.  Especially since she was going to be finding a husband soon.  "I'm glad," she said.  "I look forward to meeting him."

Looking up when their butler entered the dining room, Jensen's face lit up with hope.    
   
"A Lord Jared Padalecki has come to call, Lord Jensen.  He said he is expected this morning," Gates announced in his normal, somber voice.  
   
"Thank you, Gates.  Lord Jared is indeed expected.  He shall be accompanying us on our outing today."  Jensen beamed at the thought before turning to Mackenzie.  "Are you ready, Mack?  Or shall we await you in the front parlor?"

"I shall need a moment to gather my things, but then I shall join you directly," Mack said with a smile at Jensen's excitement.  "Do go say hello to your friend."

Standing, Jensen leaned over to place a kiss on her head before excusing himself from the dining room and moving into the front parlor.  He paused in the doorway to watch Jared looking at a portrait hanging on the far wall.  "I'm told that is the Uncle I am named after - my Grandfather's younger brother."

Jared turned toward Jensen, his friendliest, most harmless smile already on his face.  "Your family seems blessed with handsome men," he said.  "Whereas mine are blessed with giants who bang their heads on everything."

Jensen flushed and ducked his head.  "Most of the family is blessed with looks, yes.  Mackenzie is a stunning beauty."  He smiled and moved toward Jared's side.  "You are not so much taller than I that you must bang your head into everything."

"Your sister is beautiful," Jared agreed, "but if you will forgive me for saying so, I think you received the best of the family traits."  He looked back up at the portrait and then added, "My brother is taller even than I, and this world is not made for men even as tall as you.  Those few inches upward make life miserable sometimes."

"My height does at times seem an inconvenience."  Jensen concurred and lifted his gaze   
the slight distance to meet Jared's.  "And thank you, I appreciate the sentiment, but I am not all that interesting to look at."

Jared scoffed and took a step closer to Jensen.  "You underestimate yourself, Jensen.  I shall help you with that."

A quick flash of surprise raced across Jensen's face.  No one except Mack had ever said anything of the like to him.  "I don't, I mean... do you really think so?"

Jared nodded once and said, "I do.  You are far more than you seem to think yourself, Jensen."

Jensen was at a complete loss on how to respond.  Most of his life was spent in the shadows of others and in trying to keep to those shadows.  To know that someone, anyone, else saw beyond that to a person Jensen didn't even see was a bit disconcerting.  He looked back at the portrait and smiled wistfully.  "It would be rather nice to be like Uncle Jen."

"Jen?" Jared asked, standing so he was close to Jensen, their body heat mingling.  "Was that a nickname?"

"Yes," Jensen said before turning to look at Jared, eyes widening at their proximity.  "That is what Grandfather would call him when they'd get into one of their discussions about the interesting things Uncle Jen had done in his life.  He was quite the hellion according to Grandfather and merely a man seeking adventure according to Uncle Jen."

Jared laughed a little, deep and throaty.  "Sounds like a man after my own heart.  Does anyone call you Jen?"

"On occasion, and away from the rest of the family, Mackenzie has been known to say it. But no one else."  Jensen stared at the way Jared's laughter lit up his entire body.  "I am not a thing like Uncle Jen and don't think it would occur to anyone to call me after him."

"May I?" Jared asked.  "I know you do not know me well... yet, but I think I should like to call you by that name, if you will let me."

Jensen blushed, but smiled and nodded.  "If you wish to, then I would enjoy that."

Mackenzie took this moment to enter, ready for a day on the town.  She caught sight of the tall, handsome man with her brother and her smile brightened.  "Forgive me for being so long," she said, sweeping toward them.  "I misplaced my gloves."

Smiling, Jensen turned toward Mackenzie.  "Of course you are forgiven."  He moved to her side, kissed her cheek and tucked her hand in the crook of his arm.  "Jared, may I present my sister, Lady Mackenzie Ackles.  Mack, may I present Lord Jared Padalecki." 

Jared bowed deeply and brushed his lips over her proffered hand most expertly.  "Tis a pleasure to meet you, Lady Mackenzie.  Your brother speaks very highly of you, but his words do not do you proper justice."

Mackenzie blushed and said, "Lord Jared, you are indeed a flatterer.  I have been looking forward to meeting you, as well.  My brother chooses his company most discriminately, so I expect great things of you."

Jensen blushed at Mackenzie's words and lightly patted the hand on his arm.  "Shall we go to the museum then?  I have been looking forward to it since the invitation was made."

Jared nodded and gestured them to the door.  "My carriage awaits.  I shall take you on a tour of this town such as you have never been on before.  One where the gossip and plague of the crowds are absent."

The thought of that pleased Jensen greatly, and he beamed at Jared in response.  "Well, lead the way then, Jared.  I look forward to seeing your version of London."

Jared offered Mackenzie his arm gallantly, winking over his shoulder at Jensen when she took it.  Leading them both out, he helped her into the coach and then paused to smile at Jensen, dimples flashing.  "I would offer you an arm into the carriage, if I thought you would not be offended by the implication."

Jensen tipped his head back on a full throated laugh before climbing in after his sister.  He settled himself next to her on one seat of the coach, careful to keep his legs tucked under him so that Jared would have plenty of room to join them without tripping over his legs.  "I should not be offended, Jared, but anyone watching might find it quizzical."

Jared climbed in after them and settled as comfortably as possible, tucking his legs in.  "We shall start with a few small galleries that house some of the loveliest pieces in London, though one could not tell from how little they are visited.  People only wish to go places to be seen." 

"I couldn't care less about being seen, and Mother shall do plenty of that for Mackenzie, so we are both safe in your care for the more interesting things that London may hold."  Jensen grinned at Jared, pleased that he was building a friendship with a man who seemed to enjoy the things he enjoyed and not the frivolities of society.  It could easily give Jensen a reason to remain longer than planned.

Mackenzie noticed the happiness in Jensen's expression and the easy way he spoke with Jared and felt a surge of gratitude to the tall man.  "Indeed, though I am not sure Mother would see it that way.  She is so insistent that I am always on parade for eligible young men of good character."  
   
"I fear then that should would be most displeased with your accompanying me," Jared with lightly, but with an inward twist of irony.  "I have turned down many a poor girl."

Jensen eyed Jared speculatively.  "I am not surprised that you have, but you know -both of you do- that this was not at all intended to be a match-making attempt.  Not that I would be against it if you were to find favor with each other, but I truly did just want a nice outing with you both."

Mackenzie and Jared's laughter mingled inside the carriage, before Mack patted her brother's leg gently.  "My dear Jensen, I know that you are not at all devious, so it would never enter your head to make this some sort of attempt to bring myself closer to your friend."  
   
Jared bumped Jensen's leg gently with his boot.  "I second Lady Mackenzie.  Besides, I believe I would be in danger of my life, should I pursue your cherished sister while in your presence.  And I am not that brave." 

Laughing along with them, Jensen smiled and nodded.  "That’s a relief.  I am not at all suited for such machinations."  He patted Mack's hand and smiled at Jared, much more relaxed again at the prospect of spending the day with two like-minded companions.  It was far more than he ever expected on this trip to London.

Jared smiled back and tangled their feet comfortably in the carriage, deliberately letting his calf brush against Jensen's.  "So, how long are both of you to stay in London?"

Mackenzie sighed a little and said, "Until the season is through or I have found myself a husband.  I do admit that this is more stressful than I had imagined, as I often feel more like an article of trade, rather than a desirable lady."

Jensen chuckled at Mackenzie and did his best not to react to Jared's leg touching his.  He understood the confines of a small space and was not entirely certain Jared even realized.  "Remember that you are to wed for love, Mack.  Mother and Father both agreed, so take your time to know these men you meet before you wed yourself to one forever."  Turning to Jared, he addressed the question.  "Now that Mack has debuted, I am on my own time... and I do not know yet when I shall depart for the country house."

Mackenzie dipped her head and smiled happily at the idea of being free to marry for love, while Jared sneered internally.  Love was a lie, a joke played on the young.  He kept his face friendly and smiled at Jensen.  "Where is your country home?"

"Kent.  It's a quiet place with a lovely town center and people whom I've known my whole life.  I grew up there."  Jensen smiled while he thought of the people in his life that treated him like he belonged.

Jared noticed the smile and said, "It must be lovely to have a place you can go where you truly belong."  
   
Mackenzie squeezed her brother's hand, as he mentioned Kent.  "Jensen has truly been noble, coming to the town he loathes merely to help me make a proper debut.  And to soothe my nerves."  
   
"Your brother does seem to be a bit of a saint," Jared said with a crooked grin.  He longed for the moment he made the saint a wicked sinner. 

Jensen blushed.  "Hardly a saint, Jared, though I would do anything in the world for Mackenzie."  He smiled at his sister.  "It took many years before I even spoke.  Mother despaired that I ever would and that I was dumb.  It just took Mackenzie to make me interested enough to try, I guess."  His blush flared, and Jensen concentrated on Mackenzie's hand on his sleeve.

Jared refrained from questioning that admission, but bumped Jensen's boot again gently.  "So, I am indeed blessed by your friendship, then."  He dipped his head slightly.  "I hope you always feel this comfortable with me."

"I do as well."  Jensen fully believed that he would be comfortable around Jared.  The other man had done nothing but help Jensen to be relaxed, even if he were not aware of that ability.  As the coach slowed to a stop, Jensen couldn't help but smile brightly at both of his companions.  He was more than ready to be at the first museum.

Jared returned the smile, surprised to find the reaction natural and not an act.  He shook off the strange warmth in his stomach and stepped out of the carriage, before offering an arm first to Mackenzie and then to Jensen.  "This time, I could not help myself," he told Jensen with a teasing smile and warm eyes.

Jensen grinned wickedly at Jared, placing his hand on the other man's arm to be guided out of the carriage.  "You are quite the devilish man, are you not, Jared?  I think I quite like your sense of humor and adventure."  Stepping back once he was on firm ground, Jensen tucked his hands in his pockets and looked up at the building in front of them.  "Where are we starting our day?"

"I hope so," Jared said with an almost demure look and then took Mackenzie's arm in the proper fashion.  "This little gallery is run by a Mdme. D., whose full name she has never been willing to divulge.  Her eye for talent is quite unmatched, I have found, so do look over everything with care.  These paintings are for sale, and I often indulge myself and take one home."  He led Mackenzie inside.

Jensen followed along behind Jared and Mackenzie, happy to take his time to look at everything around them while they wandered.  The fact that Jared was escorting Mackenzie also allowed Jensen the freedom to relax enough that he could enjoy the outing without his normal social worries.

Jared signaled to Mdme. D., who brightened upon seeing one of her best customers and glided over to speak with them.  "Monsieur Padalecki, how charming to see you again.  And who is your delightful companion?"  
   
"Mdme. D., please allow me to introduce Lady Mackenzie Ackles, and her brother, Lord Jensen," Jared said, moving to kiss her hand and then gesturing elegantly to his companions.  "We were hoping to look around your delightful gallery... and I must admit to hoping you still had the painting of Hadrian's Wall."

Jensen sketched a quick bow and kissed Mdme. D's hand before straightening and letting her get to Jared's inquiry.  "Delighted," Jensen murmured before he turned his attention to the walls and began his slow perusal of what was on display.

Jared reached out and gently directed Jensen back to the group with a hand on the back of his neck, thumb flicking over the nape gently.  "Stick close," he murmured.  "I want you to see this painting."

Looking into Jared's eyes with a startled glance, Jensen blushed and nodded.  He ducked his head slightly and stayed at Jared's side, hoping that Mackenzie wouldn't notice how flustered he was.  So long as he didn't need to have a prolonged conversation, Jensen figured he could handle this as a group activity.

Jared smiled internally at how easily Jensen fell in line with his wishes and stayed at his side.  He led Mackenzie after Mdme. D., who was talking animatedly with Mackenzie, and then turned back to Jensen.  "Unless you feel too awkward," he said, for Jensen's ears only.  "I do not wish you to be uncomfortable.  I merely wished to show you this painting I am considering purchasing and ask your opinion."  He used his wide eyes to good effect.

Jensen flushed that Jared would want his opinion.  "I should be fine."  He lifted his lashes and smiled at Jared, wishing he were not quite so far and prone to blushing.  "I am surprised you should want my thoughts on it, though.  I know not what your decor or tastes are, Jared."

"I have seen your home, Jensen, including the rooms where your touches were evident.  I know your opinion is worth hearing."  Jared titled his head with a deeper smile.  "Perhaps you wish to visit my home, so I may show you my tastes?"

"That would be lovely, Jared."  Jensen smiled at his friend.  "If I didn't think it would encourage her attentions, I'd be inclined to send Lady Jessica flowers to thank her for introducing us in her odd manner."

"I would not worry about her, dear Jensen," Jared said.  "She has long since moved on to her next and next and next conquests."  He laughed a little, as they came to a stop in front of the painting.  He turned his attention toward it and said for everyone, "So, what do you think?"

Jensen took his time looking at the painting.  It was clearly a gorgeously done piece, quite accurate from the few times Jensen had passed by the wall in places.  Of course, he was no expert and the spot likely wasn't one he'd actually ridden by, but it was gorgeous nonetheless.  With Mdme. D hovering, Jensen nodded and murmured soft words of praise.  He was afraid he would stutter if she paid too close attention to him.

Jared stepped closer to hear Jensen's words and beamed when he praised the painting, however softly.  "And you, Lady Mackenzie?  Does this painting also please you?"  
   
Mack frowned a little and said, "Tis a bit lonely for my tastes.  There is a feeling of sadness about the ruins of a once mighty nation."  
   
"Ah, that is indeed why I like it," Jared said, stepping forward to examine the picture more closely.  "No matter how mighty you may feel yourself to be, one day, you shall be dust like everything else."

"That is quite melancholy, but also a more realistic view of the world."  Jensen smiled at Jared, sharing the man's thoughts on that subject.  "The wall itself is a lonely, isolated location at most times.  It rather reflects those sentiments well."

"We shall have to tour the wall sometime on our trip around Europe together."  Jared turned to regard Jensen with a hopeful expression.  "Though we shall concentrate on places you have never been before.  Yes?"

Jensen flushed again, but nodded.  "That would be lovely.  It could be a homecoming stop.  A slightly more familiar sight after the wonders the continent has to offer."

Mackenzie looked between them.  "You are going to tour the continent, Jen?" she asked.  "You have often talked of it, but I never thought to see you go."  She stared at Jared with something akin to wonder that he could so quickly be such a positive influence on her brother.

"Jared was telling me of his travels at your debut, Mack.  He encouraged me to explore and even volunteered to be a guide of sorts."  Jensen smiled at her and then at Jared.  "We shall see if he still feels that way at the end of the season."

"I must wait that long?" Jared protested with a slight pout.  He turned to Mackenzie and said, "I appeal to you to encourage him to leave soon, so he does not have the time to think it over too much and decide against the adventure."  
   
Mackenzie ducked her head a little at Jared's intense gaze, but turned to Jensen.  "Lord Jared is right, my brother.  There is no reason to wait so long.  I shall be fine, and even better, knowing you are doing something you have so longed to do."

Jensen hesitated, unable to deny Mackenzie anything she requested.  "Today is not a day for such decisions, Mack.  We are out to enjoy the city."  He turned to Jared, a brilliant smile on his face at the suggestion of their traveling together much sooner.  "I shall think upon it, Jared."

Jared ducked his head and then turned to Mdme. D.  "I shall take the painting, lonely though it may be.  Please make sure it arrives safely at my home."  He extended his arm back to Mackenzie.  "I think there are some paintings over here which may be more to your taste."  With a little grin, he offered Jensen his other arm.  
   
Shaking his head, Jensen tucked Jared's arm back against his body and followed closely after his friend and sister.  Jared’s easy friendship was a gift that Jensen was quickly learning to thrive under.  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jared watched a group of ladies and gentleman strolling across Hyde Park's main grounds and smiled.  "I always find it amazing how everyone feels they must gather in one area and leave the rest so quiet and peaceful."  He glanced over at Jensen, who walked beside him.  "All this lovely space completely to ourselves, while just across the way, all the best fight to be seen.

Jensen took a quick look across and shook his head before he smiled at Jared.  "I've always hated the park.  Too many people wanting to talk to you, being judgmental."  He turned toward another path that would lead them further away.

Jared watched him head into the trees and shook his head with a larger grin, before trotting a little to catch up.  "You do know they are not all going to turn suddenly and head this way because we are here?" he teased, reaching out to slow Jensen down a little with a hand on his arm.

Flushing slightly, Jensen slowed down, but didn't change his direction at all.  He met Jared's gaze for a moment, the slight panic receding.  "I can't tell you how horrid much of my life has been in regards to society’s demands."

Jared nodded and said, "You are not of the right temperament to enjoy things that should be trivial, but are given such import in our lives.  A person who really wished to know you, to woo you, would need to be much more delicate."  He dimpled at Jensen, all easy charm.  "I never had trouble with the social necessities, except extreme ennui and allergies against marriage."

"My parents never seem to have gotten over the fact that I was nearly five before I spoke.  I think they still believe that I am rather simple."  Jensen shrugged, although living that way wore on him and left him to keeping his life separate. 

Jared steered Jensen down another path, matching their strides until they were perfectly in sync.  "You and I are complete opposites there.  I babbled almost as soon as I figured out I could.  Non-words, words, any noises I could make, I did."  He lifted his right eyebrow.  "And you know the result?  My parents thought I was a complete idiot."  He laughed and threw back his head.

Jensen laughed along with Jared, bumping his shoulder against Jared's.  "We both had similar results with our completely different styles."  He thought about his next reveal a bit before continuing.  "I spent a few years in the nursery, never leaving... not until Mackenzie was a baby."

Jared nodded and countered, "I ran around like a wild beast, completely uncontrollable.  I hated to be inside."  He lifted hand and lifted Jensen's hat off, replacing it with his and then placing the too small hat on his head.  "And yet, here we are."

"Here we are."  Jensen laughed at the larger hat settling down over his brow.  "I would have loved to have been outside, but I wasn't allowed since I wouldn't alert anyone to a problem if it occurred."

"So you never got to play outside?" Jared asked, stopping short and looking at Jensen.

"Not until after I started really speaking.  Our governess was too concerned with teaching Josh the things he needed to learn to take me outside much."  Jensen shrugged.  "Once Mackenzie came along, her time was far more divided between the schooling and the infant."

Jared looked around and then tugged Jensen right off the path and into the trees.  He took off his coat and before, before removing Jensen's hat and hanging them all neatly on a tree.  And then he touched Jensen's arm and said, "Can't catch me," before dashing off.

Jensen blinked, staring after where Jared had disappeared before a smile broke over his face.  He stripped off his jacket and hung it up, before chasing after Jared and hoping he wasn't too far behind.

Jared kept his pace easy until he heard Jensen behind him.  His grin widened as he realized he had gotten it right again.  Never before during any of his numerous conquests had he read someone like he could Jensen.  He ducked behind a tree until Jensen ran by and then jumped out, yelling, "BOO!"

"Christ!"  Jensen jumped at the shout, whirling around with a huge smile on his face, while he tore after Jared.

Jared laughed at Jensen's blasphemy and dodged through trees, before grabbing one and beginning to climb.  "Can't catch me, Jen!"

Jensen stopped at the base of the tree, staring up with his heart slamming against his ribs.  It'd been a long, long time since he'd climbed a tree, but Jensen was determined not to let   
Jared down and grabbed hold of the lowest limb to haul himself up.

Jared paused and watched Jensen climb, face pulled into a determined expression.  He rested on his high limb and found himself saying, "Come on, Jen, you can do it.  Nearly to me now."

Closing his eyes for a deep breath, Jensen pulled himself up the last few branches to come side to side with Jared.  He took another breath and opened his eyes even while clutching tightly to the branches and feeling unsure of his ability to climb back down.  "I cannot believe the things I do with you."

Jared laughed and put a hand on Jensen's shoulder the steady him.  "Look at you, Jen," he said with a laugh.  "Climbing trees, running around, going out in public, and enjoying it."  He gave Jensen a stern look, as if daring him to deny the words.

"But only with you."  Jensen acknowledged that Jared was correct in his enjoyment.  If anyone else had come along, though, Jensen would have closed up and disappeared in a heartbeat.

"Only with me," Jared said, and something inside him clenched a little.  He shifted to sit more comfortably on the branch.  "Please do not feel offended on her behalf, for Mackenzie is an amazing woman, but I am glad it is just you and I today.  I have been wishing to spend more time with just you, Jensen."

Jensen blushed faintly, as he'd been feeling similarly.  "There is no offense to be had there Jared.  Mackenzie is a fine woman, but you are not looking for a wife, and there is so much focus on time being spent in that pursuit whenever you are in the company of the other gender." 

"There really are things to be appreciated about women besides their bodies," Jared said with an internal smirk.  He looked down at Jensen and made his voice soft.  "Do you ever get scared of being alone?"

"No, I don't.  I think I've been so alone for most of my life that it is being with people that frightens me more.  They are an unknown quantity- a confusing set of interactions and expectations."  Jensen turned and looked at Jared.  "Do you fear being alone?"

Jared paused and looked away from Jensen, into the distance.  "I think whatever fate has in store for me, I will deserve it," he said.

Jensen blinked at the thought.  Jared didn't sound overly enthusiastic of pleased with it, nor did he sound displeased.  "I should think someone as nice as you should deserve only wonderful things, Jared.  I am sure that when you are ready for a life companion, that you will find the perfect woman to live by your side."

Jared nearly fell out of the tree, but fought himself back to control.  "I do not think I am fit material for marriage, Jensen.  You are much more likely to make a woman happy than I.  You just need to find someone gentle, sweet and quiet."

"And boring and airheaded."  Jensen shook his head.  "Except for Mack, I find I lack an ability to even be near females.  Even my mother can often reduce me to stuttering or muteness."

Jared chuckled a little and said, "Well, they were once considered a different species, so I suppose you are justified."  He reached down and squeezed Jensen's hand.  "We shall just have to rely on friends."

Jensen beamed at Jared, squeezing his hand in return.  "It is a lucky man who finds that he has a couple of close friends in this life."

"If you have one true friend in the world, you are rich, my father used to say."  Jared looked at Jensen and asked, "Am I rich?"

"I'd like to think we are both rich."  Jensen lowered his lashes and then looked at Jared again. 

"Then we are rich," Jared said and tried to ignore the sensation that he really, really was.  
~~~~~~~~~~

Lady Jessica watched Lord Jared stride by, headed for the lobby and some refreshments and judged that she had at least fifteen minutes to try again with Lord Jensen Ackles.  She had been so close to making a kill, when the tall idiot had interfered.  And Lady Jessica was not someone who accepted defeat easily, especially not when it had been delivered so close to triumph.  She stole silently into the Ackles’ family box and studied the back of Jensen's head for a moment, before saying softly, "I never realized before that you were so ungentlemanly, Lord Jensen."

Jensen sat in the family box, staring out at the crowds and thankful that Jared was more than willing to get the refreshments, though Jensen felt a twinge about having his friend do that for them both.  When he heard Lady Jessica's voice, Jensen closed his eyes on a breath and then opened them, turning with a bright smile and standing.  "My apologies, Lady Jessica.  What have I done to make you think me ungentlemanly?"

Lady Jessica moved forward, so there was nowhere for Jensen to go except against the wall of the box or into her.  "You abandoned me on a balcony at your sister's ball and then never spoke to me again.  A gentleman would hardly treat a poor lady so."  She ducked her head and looked sad.

"This is the first chance I have had to see you since that evening, Lady Jessica."  Jensen remained firmly where he was, not wanting to back down and certainly not moving forward or encouraging her in any way.  "I am sure you had quite the line of men wishing to attend to you at my sister's debut."

Lady Jessica stepped closer and reached out to put a hand on Jensen's chest.  "You were the gentleman with me, sir, and treated me quite unashamedly with your hasty departure."  She lifted her head to gaze into his eyes intensely.  "You owe me quite an apology."

Jensen sighed internally, but kept his smile plastered to his face while taking her hand in his and backing himself into the wall.  "I do apologize, Lady Jessica, if you feel that I have wronged you.  It was never my intention."  He took a deep breath and wished that he'd over-ridden his mother's refusal for Mackenzie to accompany him to the theater. 

Jessica stepped forward again and pressed lightly against his front.  "You can, of course, attempt to make it up to me."  She lifted her mouth toward his.  
   
Blinking in shock at her forward behavior, Jensen released her hand lightly grabbed her shoulders.  He tried to lever her away from his body with minimal success.  "Lady Jessica, what is it you would like from me?  I am not at all an appropriate suitor for you."

Lady Jessica laughed softly, like a perfect bell.  "You are delightful, Lord Jensen.  I think you are indeed an appropriate suitor for me."  
   
"Pray forgive my intrusion on this tender scene," Jared said scathingly from the back of the box, "but I could use assistance with these refreshments.  I would hate to dump them all over the back of your lovely gown, Lady Jessica."

Jensen shot Jared a grateful look when Lady Jessica turned her gaze over her shoulder.  Using her shift in balance, Jensen leaned slid out from the wall, along the aisle of the seats and over to Jared's side.  He mouthed ‘thank you’ to Jared before taking several items from him and turning back to face what he was certain would be Lady Jessica's ire.

Lady Jessica glared at Jared in a way that would have reduced him to ash, had she the power.  "You again.  I have never heard before, Lord Jared, that you interfered in other people's affairs.  Perhaps because you are always so involved in your own."  
   
Jared stepped forward and exuded menace from every pore so intensely that Lady Jessica actually stepped back nervously.  "I suggest you leave us, Lady Jessica, and find someone who will welcome your attentions.  That should not be difficult, as you cannot claim to be discerning."  
   
Lady Jessica's face tightened further, but she did not risk Jared's ire at that moment, so she merely lifted her head high and marched out of the box.

"I am so sorry, Jared."  Jensen looked fitfully at his friend, biting his lower lip.  That was the second time Jared had to save him and Jensen was certain that Jared must be growing wearied of the tasks.  "I have no idea what it is that Lady Jessica sees in me... or why she is so persistent when I've done nothing but encourage her elsewhere."

Jared carefully set all his refreshments down and breathed out slowly a few times to calm his anger.  "I understand completely Lady Jessica's attraction," he said, straightening and turning toward Jensen.  He carefully removed the refreshments from his hands and then said, "Shall we not enjoy our refreshments, since I left you to fend off the lioness to get them?"

Jensen relinquished the refreshments easily, sitting at Jared's suggestion.  Jared understood her attraction?  He didn't know what that meant or why it made him feel excited.  "Why is she interested in me?"  Jensen felt lost and could only hope Jared had an answer for him.

Jared sighed and sipped his wine.  "You are beautiful, Jen.  Shy, charming, intelligent.  You are a red flag in front of a bull to a woman like Lady Jessica.  And I am sure there were many others who wished you might look their way, as well."

"But that hardly makes me a catch.  I mean, I am a second son who lives in the country.  These women cannot want to live the life I live."  Jensen looked at Jared, still baffled by why anyone would want him.  He shook his head and looked away.  "Thank you again, for coming to my rescue, Jared.  I can only be thankful that you are a good friend who is looking out for what is best for me."  Jensen lifter his glass to sip at the wine.

"Jensen," Jared said, in a half-exasperated, half-fond voice, "she was not interested in a lifelong commitment with you.  She wished to lie with you, know the pleasures of the flesh with you.  That is all.  I am sure others would wish to marry you for your other qualities, those that are truly more important than wealth or position, but Lady Jessica wished you only for your physical attributes."

Jensen gaped at Jared.  "Certainly not.  I mean, Lady Jessica is a young lady of good standing.  Shouldn't she be untouched on her wedding night?"  He blinked and gulped more than half his wine down at the thought of Lady Jessica wanting or trying to seduce him.  The concept left him queasy.

Jared set down his glass and steepled his fingers together, trying to keep the laughter from his face and voice.  "Men of good standing often sow their wild oats, as the term goes.  It is seen as a right of passage by many, a step to manhood.  Yet, ladies are asked to be pure and virginal until a man claims them.  Does it truly surprise you that some women, the truly spirited of them, decide they do not care much for the rules that dictate that men may do as they please and ladies may not?"

"Well no, of course not."  Jensen thought of Mackenzie and frowned slightly.  "It is a ridiculous double standard, but Lady Jessica was so bold.  It could cost her a truly decent match."

"Lady Jessica has money enough not to worry about such things," Jared said.  "That is where she is indeed fortunate.  So many inheritances are entailed away from the female line or there are brothers who get the bulk, so women are forced to adhere to the rules.  But for women like Lady Jessica, there is no such restriction to hold her back."  He caught Jensen's gaze and held it firmly.  "I found nothing objectionable in her behavior toward you except that you were unwilling.  You clearly were uncomfortable and not wishing to bow to her desires, so she had no right to continue to press her suit." 

Jensen finished off his wine and looked toward the crowd below them.  "I did not want her attentions, this is true.  Not at my sister's debut and certainly not here."  He sighed and turned back to Jared.  "She is the only to pursue me in any capacity, and I wish she would leave off."  He turned with a chagrined face toward Jared.  "I am sorry that it has put a damper on our evening."

"Only if you allow it to," Jared said with a smile at Jensen.  "There is no harm done.  The lioness is gone.  You are not maimed.  And I have brought refreshments."  He held out a piece of chocolate cake.

Staring at Jared, Jensen wondered if he truly was as amazing as he seemed to be.  Jensen smiled and took the cake from Jared.  "You are correct.  I do not need to let her behavior ruin our good evening.  Thank you for the refreshments and the rescuing.  Let's hope that it is not necessary again."

"I do not mind being your knight, although I fear I am sadly lacking in many of the courtly manners," Jared said with his dimples flashing.  He took a bite of the cake and moaned softly.  "Oh, they do make such marvelous cakes here."

Jensen grinned to himself at the thought Jared as his knight.  "The desserts here were always one of the main reasons I begged to come to the theater as a boy."

"Your slim form leads me to conclude that your parents were impervious to your pleas."  Jared offered Jensen a bite of the slightly different cake he was eating.  "I would have thought the theatre was too public a venue for you to truly enjoy."

"Not from here in the box.  I would cling to Josh all the way in, but once we were here, I was free to enjoy the show without worrying about the crowds at all."  Jensen grinned.  "Father actually brought me here quite a bit when we were in town, but he was a bit stricter about the cake consumption."

"Try the piece of cake," Jared said, waving the fork around a little.  "You make me feel a fool, sitting here holding it in the air."

Jensen took up his fork and dug into the cake, closing his eyes on a quiet hum of happiness while the chocolate melted and exploded in his mouth.  "Hmmmm, that's easily as good as I remembered it to be."  He opened his eyes to smile at Jared and lick at the fork.

Jared blinked, glanced at the fork he held out to Jensen and then stuffed the piece on his mouth.  "You are something else, Lord Jensen Ackles." 

Tilting his head at Jared, Jensen smiled slightly.  "What makes you say that, Jared?"  He was quite honestly confused.

"Just that there is nobody else like you, and I am so glad I saw you, standing in your corner, at Mackenzie’s ball.  I may never have known you, had you not been there, hiding in the shadows.  And I would have lost out."  Jared found himself meaning the words, in ways he did not want to examine.  
   
Jensen blushed.  "You never said you noticed me standing in the corner at the ball."  He looked down and then back up again with a shy smile.  "I thought you simply heard me trying to get rid of Lady Jessica and stepped in to help."

"I had been looking for a method to introduce myself," Jared said.  "Lady Jessica solved my quandary for me.  I thought I might never find a way to speak to you that would make me welcome."

"I don't mean to be that unwelcoming."  Jensen frowned and bit his lip.  "Again, I guess I do have her to be thankful for, at least in getting us introduced."  Jensen smiled tentatively at Jared before digging in for a second bite of the cake.

"You just looked as if anyone who approached would spook you off," Jared said.  "I did not want to be rude and forward to someone who did not wish company."  He returned the shy smile with a bright, beaming one of his own. Things were going exactly as planned.    
~~~~~~~~~~


	3. Traveling

Jensen stood on the steps of the Paris Opera House, staring at the majestic building.  The crowd flowed around him to enter, and it was a glorious feeling not to know anyone or be expected to make pleasantries with them and worry about what to say to anyone.  Well, except Jared, and Jensen had never had a moment's trouble in speaking with Jared.  He turned and grinned at his companion.  "Where shall we go next?"

"Inside," Jared said with a laugh.  He put a hand on the small of Jensen's back and guided him up the stairs and into the building.  In the few weeks since they had started their journey together, Jared had worked hard to get Jensen used to being touched, to letting Jared near.  He pressed close now, as the crowds of people enjoying the opera house encircled them.

"Oh." Jensen smiled at Jared, moving slightly closer as the people crowded around him.  "I didn't realize we were going to stay and watch."  He looked around them, the opulence catching his attention and helping him ignore the large crush of people.

Jared settled an arm around Jensen's waist in a protective gesture.  "The building is open to us poor tourists who wish to stare at the fabulous example of Paris culture," he said with a low chuckle.  "They love to impress us lesser folk."  He brushed his lips lightly over Jensen's ear as he leaned down to speak to him.

Jensen shuddered, eyes wide at the touches, the show of affection.  He tried to steel himself against the way it made him feel to have Jared so close. The feelings only confused Jensen, and he wanted to focus on remembering the amazing things Jared was showing him.  "You mean... we can just walk in to look around?"

"There is nothing being performed right now, so we are welcome," Jared affirmed.  "If you wish to see the grand opera house, of course."  His eyes twinkled with affectionate teasing.

"Of course.  I just hadn't realized we'd have the opportunity."  Jensen smiled at Jared and then looked back at the decor.  "Have you been here before?"

Jared glanced over at one of the pillars beneath the Grand Staircase and remembered a beautiful, blonde French girl biting her bottom lip to hold back cries as Jared took her from behind.  He smiled beatifically at Jensen and said, "I have very fond memories of this place."

Jensen smiled, a bolt of disappointment shooting through him that he didn't understand.  Jared was so full of life that it was likely there was little he hadn't done before, and Jensen realized that he might never have a first with Jared.  "It must be thrilling to visit all of the places you've already been."  Jensen couldn't help the dryness of his voice, nor the disappointment welling up in him.

Jared lit up with a huge smile and nodded enthusiastically, even in the face of Jensen's sudden mood swing.  "I love showing you places like this, watching you experience them for the first time.  It makes them even better than the first time I was here, though I had never seen them before."  He looked around and realized this _was_ better with Jensen by his side. 

"Really?" Jensen asked, hopeful that Jared meant what he said about his being there making it all better.  No one had ever felt that way about him.

Jared looked into green eyes and nodded.  "Yes, Jensen, I am having more fun than even I thought I would have with you.  So, shall we see the opera house?"

Jensen beamed at Jared and nodded his head.  "Please, I'd like to see the wonders of this place so I can describe it all to Mackenzie."  Jensen also wanted to tuck away the feeling of rightness, of wholeness, that he felt with Jared by his side.

"I am beginning to think I should have swapped places with Mackenzie," Jared said with a pretend pout. 

"Oh no, not at all, Jared."  Jensen stopped them both with a hand on Jared's arm, tugging him to the side.  He frowned slightly and turned apologetic eyes on Jared.  "It's just that she is the only other person in my life I have shared such things with and depending on whomever she marries, it's likely she may never see these amazing sites." 

Jared looked down into Jensen's face and smiled again, delighted by how earnestly Jensen wanted to please him.  "I was joking, dear Jensen.  Though, I would have been glad to escort your sister on this tour, as well, if I thought there was some proper way it could be arranged."  He draped an arm over Jensen waist casually, drawing him closer. 

Jensen startled at the touch, but moved into Jared.  He trembled with uncertainty at the wave of feelings and unorthodox moment.  "She couldn't have come, not an unmarried young lady.  Not even with my escort, not as long as you were with us."  There were times Jensen railed at the strictures of their world.  It felt wholly unfair that Mack couldn't be there.

Jared felt the slight trembling, but did not comment.  No sense startling Jensen now, not after they'd come so far.  And with the instincts of a predator, he knew Jensen was getting close, close to the moment when he could safely turn their relationship into something more than friendly.  But not just yet.  
   
"Well, if she truly does marry for love, than her young gentleman should be happy to show his wife around the world.  Anyone in love will do anything for the person they care for."  Jared patted Jensen's shoulder reassuringly.  "And for now, you will send her many letters and pictures to keep her from feeling too bereft." 

"If I know Mack, when she marries for love, he'll end up being poor, and she'll never travel."  Jensen chuckled, leaning into Jared's touches.  "You are correct, though.  I shall send her a letter tonight detailing our travels.  For now, though, will you show me more of this beautiful building?"

Jared nodded, stepped away and offered Jensen his arm with a sweeping bow.  "Monsieur Ackles, please allow me the honor of showing you one of the finest cultural sites in the world."

Jensen placed his hand on Jared's arm with a beaming smile to cover the disappointment of Jared's arm disappearing from his waist.  "But of course, Monsieur Padalecki.  I look forward to it with great anticipation."

Jared swept him toward the Grand Staircase, smiling at the raised eyebrows and murmurs that followed them.  "You see and hear them?" he asked, glancing at Jensen.  "They wish they were me, with you on their arm."

Blinking, Jensen took in the people around them, noting the looks they were getting.  He flushed a light pink, having forgotten that anyone might be interested in what they were doing.  "I think it is more likely they think it odd we are walking this way."  Jensen's hand twitched on Jared's arm, his instinct to remove it warring with how much he enjoyed the touch.

"Perhaps, but I do not think so," Jared said.  "We are not doing anything improper, nor immoral.  No, I think they merely wish they had the pleasure of your company."  He stopped at the staircase and looked up it.  "This is perhaps the grandest entranceway ever designed.  A perfect way to show off your patrons, as well as your hall."

"It's a rather daunting prospect... to climb those steps in view of everyone."  Jensen trembled slightly, still noting some of the looks in their direction.  He wished he could be as carefree about it as Jared was.

"Most people view it as a pleasure, a chance to show off not only their wealth, but also their companions.  And I should love to show you off to everyone, if I may."  Jared looked at Jensen with a pleading expression.  "Climb them with me, on my arm."

Jensen took a deep breath, glanced around once more and prepared to refuse Jared.  Then he looked into Jared's eyes, saw the man he'd come to trust asking him for such a small thing, and nodded.  "Yes," he breathed.

Jared beamed at Jensen and stepped forward again, leading him slowly up the stairs.  He held his head high and smiled at Jensen now and then.  "Look at you," he whispered. 

Shaking his head slightly, Jensen gripped Jared's arm.  He couldn't look around, wasn't sure he could handle being the focus of any additional attention.  "They all wish they were me."  Jensen dipped his gaze, eyelashes fluttering on his cheeks before he looked back at Jared.  "Wishing they had such a man on their arm."

Jared felt a warm rush of pleasure at the words and that emerged in his smile and the way he tucked Jensen closer.  "You are kind to say so," he murmured, as they ascended to the top.  "Here we are.  Nothing to that at all."  
   
"So says you," Jensen retorted, grinning broadly nonetheless.  "It's a grand staircase into an even grander second gathering space.  I cannot imagine it full of an opera crowd."  He shivered a bit, glad for Jared close by his side.

Jared tucked Jensen by his side and ushered him inside the actual theatre, so he could see the stage.  "Well, better a spectator than a singer."  He turned his head toward Jensen.  "Do you sing?"

"I do," Jensen responded without thought, staring down at the stage.  "Such a beautiful place."  He reached out and caressed one of the seats before looking at the beauty of the ornaments lining the boxes and the intricate details of the chandeliers hanging above them.

Jared pressed into Jensen and whispered, "Will you sing for me sometime?"

"You'd want me to?"  Jensen blinked at Jared and smiled tentatively.  "I mean, yes, if you'd like me to."

Jared beamed as if he had won the world and then looked around the opera house again.  "A shame we do not have time to see a performance here.  However, I have plans for all our nights in Paris."  He tipped a wink at Jensen.

Jensen laughed.  "You do? You amaze me, Jared.  I just have to say... thank you for being my friend, for showing me these things I've always longed to see."

Jared glanced around briefly and then lifted a hand to cup Jensen's chin briefly, sweeping a thumb over his left cheek.  "Do not thank me for something that gives me so much pleasure, Jen.  I do not deserve it."

Jensen shivered at Jared's touch, eyes growing ever wider while he stood captured by Jared's touch and his words.  He could see the sincerity in Jared's eyes, feel it in the way Jared said the words.  "You do deserve it.  Without you I should be home in Kent, all tucked away with my books and the accounts.  You're helping me live."

Jared ducked his head a little in acknowledgement and said, "I am glad you took a chance on this... on me.  I plan to teach and show you so many things."

Those innocuous words set a flurry of butterflies loose in Jensen's stomach.  He sucked in a sharp breath and bit his lower lip.  "I- I would-" Jensen broke off, not sure he could continue the thought.  He could be so wrong about what he was feeling, thinking, and the thought of losing Jared over his foolishness left him frozen and unnerved.

Jared squeezed Jensen's shoulder as his words trailed off and asked, "Are you all right, Jen?  I did not say something to upset you, did I?"

"No, not all."  Jensen smiled tremulously at Jared.  "I look forward to the things you have to show me, to teach me.  That is all."  He glanced down and then back toward the stage to hide the uncertainty and confusion in his eyes.

"I am sorry if something I said caused you upset," Jared said, obviously not believing Jensen.  "I meant no offense or alarm.  Please, allow me to make it up to you with some lunch at a nearby cafe.  If I remember correctly, they have the best fresh bread in Paris."

Jensen turned back to Jared with a smile.  "I would love to have lunch, but you truly have nothing to make up for Jared.  You are an amazing friend."

Jared let his gaze become uncertain, his voice a trifle shaky, as he asked, "Do you mean that, Jen?  You would not just say that to me as a way to make me feel better for upsetting you?"

"I would never say anything just to make things better.  I promise you that."  Jensen smiled, holding Jared's arms in his grip, urging him to see the truth.  "You are the best friend I've ever had."

"Thank you," Jared said, turning his arms until they linked hands.  "I am glad, Jen."  He let them stand there for a moment and then cleared his throat.  "Now, how about some fresh, warm bread, right from the oven?"

Jensen nodded, flushing slightly at the way Jared's hands felt in his.  He wanted to feel the touch of Jared's skin more often and that made him turn even redder.  "I think that sounds like the best idea of the morning."

"That's because I have not told you about my surprise for this evening yet," Jared said, wiggling his eyebrows.  He led Jensen out and toward the stairs again.  "Head up, Jen."

Smiling at Jared, Jensen lifted his head.  He still did not want to meet anyone's gaze, but with Jared at his side, he knew that he would try.  Jensen tightened his grip on Jared's hand and hoped his friend wouldn't mind.

Jared beamed at Jensen and squeezed his hand gently.  "Here we go, Jensen, my beautiful friend."  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jared emerged from the Paris sewers, walked a few feet and then turned to beam at Jensen.  "I told you it would be a surprise!  An unusual look at the city."

"That was simply remarkable."  Jensen grinned at Jared, still reeling from the tour of the Parisian sewers.  "It was most assuredly like nothing I've ever seen before."  He turned to look back at where they'd emerged, staring at the exit of the tour before shaking his head and smiling at Jared.  "You truly do know of the most interesting things, Jared."

Jared barked a soft laugh and said, "I thought you might enjoy it as something different."  He looked around the quiet streets.  "We should be getting back to our lodgings.  The night is late.  Perhaps we can rise a bit later in the morning."

Jensen nodded and tucked his hands in his pockets.  He smiled brightly at Jared and bumped him in the shoulder.  "I should think that might be lovely.  We can dine a bit later than usual, take our time and relax.  Unless you have other plans for us, that is.  I wouldn't dream of changing a thing."

"A late sleep in and then leisurely breakfast with you sounds better than any other plan," Jared said.  He paused and leaned closer to Jensen.  "Except that it means I spend less time with you in the morning.  That is never better."

Grinning and blushing, Jensen shook his head gently at Jared.  "Your flattery is some of the best, Jared.  However, I guess that if we sleep in tomorrow, it should mean that we shall be up and out more tomorrow night.  It's just a different time together."

"This is true," Jared acknowledged with a matching grin.  He reached out and brushed his fingers over Jensen's red cheeks, as if the movement were natural, something he did everyday.  "I do have some of Paris' quieter nightlife selected for us to enjoy."

"There is such a thing?" Jensen smiled and unconsciously tipped his head into Jared's touches.  He was not normally a tactile person, but soaked up Jared's attention.

Jared stepped closer, letting the soft touch become something firmer across Jensen's face.  "Indeed.  Quiet, discreet places, where people are left in peace and not beset on by noise and crowds."  He ducked his head and then looked at Jensen through smoldering eyes.  "I would enjoy taking you to one loud place, if I might."

Jensen's breath caught in his throat, eyes widening and pulse quickening with Jared's proximity and touch.  He loved the idea of quiet places to spend time with Jared, but the thought of a loud place made him tremble with excitement.  "There is?  You would?  I would like to see it, then."

"You would like that?" Jared asked, keeping close to Jensen and leaving his hand cupped around Jensen's cheek.  "I would not wish to do anything that might cause you discomfort, dear Jensen."

"I feel as though I can handle anything with you."  Jensen smiled shyly, the admission an unnerving one for him.  "But if it is too much, would you mind if we left?"

"Anything?" Jared questioned.  "I wish I believed that were true."  He dropped his hand and stepped back.  "I would not mind, of course.  If you are distressed, there is no joy for me."

Jensen shivered at the sudden loss of touch, the chill in the air seeping into him.  He couldn't understand the sudden change in Jared's mood, but knew he was just as, if not more, guilty of such things.  "I am looking forward to seeing what you have to show me, Jared."

Jared gritted his teeth a little as Jensen failed to take the initiative.  He quelled the impatience in his stomach, as he pushed aside the instincts warning that he was getting in over his head.  Jensen would fall for him... he wouldn't settle for anything else, not after all this effort.  But he needed to find another outlet tonight, before he burst with strain.  Finding a smile, he said, "Tis late, and I am weary.  Perhaps we can return to our lodgings now."

"Oh, yes, of course."  Jensen smiled through his disappointment that their evening was over and then turned to look around them.  "Unfortunately, I think I am hopelessly lost."  He laughed and then shrugged before looking back at Jared.  "That trip underground has completely turned me around."

"No worries, my Jensen," Jared said with a smile.  "We are never lost while there is a carriage to be found."  He signaled a hack, which pulled up beside them.  Offering Jensen an arm, he said, "May I help you in?"

Jensen grinned at their private joke, placed his hand on Jared's arm.  "Thank you, Jared.  You are ever the gallant man."  He winked, and using Jared's leverage, pulled himself into the carriage.  Dropping to the far edge of the seat, Jensen kept his legs stretched out in hopes that Jared would crowd onto the same bench with him.

Jared climbed in, noted Jensen's position and sat down beside him.  Calling the name of their hotel to the driver, he settled back against the plush coach with a little sigh.  "I am wearier than I thought.  Bed shall feel good tonight."  He leaned a little against Jensen.  "Shall you tell Mackenzie about the Paris sewers?"

"I don't know that I shall.  It is the type of thing that must be seen to be believed."  Jensen sighed and leaned against Jared, glad that their closeness hadn't disappeared.  "Besides, I have been thinking that it would be nice to have some things on this trip that were just ours."

Jared lifted his arm and settled it over Jensen's shoulders, so the smaller man could lean more comfortably against him.  "Just ours," he echoed softly.  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jared stopped outside one of the noisy working-class ballrooms of Montparnasse and turned to look at Jensen.  "Well, here we are, my Jen.  A loud, noisy, crowded place, inhabited by the less upper crust types of Parisians.  A place for gaiety, drinking and all other forms of revelry.  And home to a new form of dancing, called the cancan."  He grinned, loose and relaxed, as he had been all day, since relieving much of his tension in an obliging young model the night before.  "Are you willing to enter this house of debauchment?"

Jensen looked around him, certain he'd never seen the like of the raucous place before.  He gaped slightly, only hearing one in three words that Jared was saying.  "This is where we're going, Jared?"  Jensen moved a bit closer to Jared's side with a grin, voice lowered to keep from sounding like a complete idiot.  "Really?"

The smile encouraged Jared, so he dropped a hand on Jensen's shoulder, massaging gently.  "Indeed.  If you will permit me the imposition of taking you here."  He tugged Jensen close and draped the arm more possessively over his shoulders.  "I will protect you."

"Yes, this place looks to be fascinating."  Jensen leaned into Jared's embrace, breath shuddering out on a soft sigh.  The more Jared touched him, the more Jensen relaxed, though he brimmed with excitement at the possibilities before them.

Jared dropped a quick kiss to Jensen's head, barely there, and then led him inside.  He navigated expertly through the crowds to the bar and pulled Jensen up with him.  "What do you want?" he asked, signaling the bartender.  "Order something to linger over."  
   
Jensen blinked at the sensations of the noise and color all around them, missing the brief kiss in his startlement.  "I haven't any idea."  Turning to Jared, Jensen glanced at him from beneath his lashes.  "Order for me?  Something you think is appropriate."

Jared laughed and ordered absinthe for them both, collecting the drinks and ushering Jensen before him toward an open table in the back.  Noticing two other men heading for the same one, he turned a dark look on them, so menacing that they crashed into each other coming to a halt.  He slid into the booth beside Jensen and said, "Try this.  Slowly.  It's strong." 

Sitting so he could see most of the scene before him, Jensen took the drink and sipped at it.  Immediately, the liquor started to go to his head, but in a pleasant way he'd never experienced before.  Jensen leaned in to Jared and asked after the people milling about, how he'd known of the place and what exactly the can-can was.

Jared threw his arm over Jensen's shoulders again and tugged him in.  "I wandered all over Paris, when I was here for myself.  I confess that I am something of a black sheep, since I refuse to confine myself only to the pleasures of the wealthy.  There is much to be said for the other classes, including that they know much of having a good time.  As you can see.  Some of these people I met before on my travels, most of them are yet strangers.  And the cancan... well, that must be seen.  And shall be shortly.  I do know the main dancer, William."

"You do?"  Jensen settled into Jared's touch, glad for it and not the least bit self conscious in this entirely different world.  "Everyone here seems to be having such a wonderful time.  Why does everyone else not come and join this?" 

"Our class is a bit snobby," Jared reminded him with a little smile.  "These are mere working class people and not fit to associate with the likes of us."  He patted Jensen's arm.  "Only a few of the more unusual of our society, such as we, are willing to give them a chance."  His mouth brushed over Jensen's forehead, brief and teasing.

Jensen smiled at Jared, shivering at the accidental touch of Jared's lips to his head. "That is a sad case, then. I am enjoying myself so far."  Jensen turned slightly so he could see Jared's face.  "There's no need to ask if you are enjoying it.  I can see that you are."

"I enjoy being with you," Jared said, "no matter where we are."  The lights dimmed a little, and a handsome man strolled out to the middle of the stage.  The crowds quieted and turned rapt eyes toward him.  "Ah, William.  And the cancan."  
   
A thrill ran through Jensen at Jared's compliment and he leaned ever so slightly more against Jared's side.  When he saw William on stage, Jensen was equally torn between admiring how good looking he was and a spike of jealousy at someone else knowing Jared.  Jensen wanted to keep Jared for himself.

William spoke a few words in French, bowed and then swept into an energetic and almost impossibly acrobatic dance.  There was also a touch of the erotic, as he moved his body suggestively and predominantly aimed toward men.  Jared chuckled a little and hummed along with the music.  "He is a talented man," he said.

"He seems to be."  Jensen did not like the way Jared said it, did not like the way Jared seemed to know the music.  He did his best to focus on the dance, only slightly surprised at some of the more suggestive movements.  They left Jensen feeling discomfited and excited at the same time.  Leaning heavier on Jared, Jensen continued to watch the show.

Jared shifted in the booth so Jensen sprawled more completely across his chest, knowing none of the liberal bar patrons cared.  He watched William dance, thinking of how pleasantly that encounter had gone.  William was a man of the world, who knew what he wanted and how to get it.  He and Jared had enjoyed a few nights of rather energetic fun and parted without regret.  He unconsciously stroked his hand over Jensen's chest, thinking of how loudly William had made his enjoyment known.  "Do you like the dance?"  
   
Jensen relaxed into Jared once he'd been shifted slightly and nodded.  "It's interesting and quite unusual, isn't it?  I mean, he's being quite open about what he wants.  I mean, in terms of the dance."

"That is the freedom of the cancan," Jared said.  "The freedom of this particular crowd, as well.  They are not hung up on questions of morals and etiquette."  He paused, wondering if he was talking a bit too much, and said, "Not that this is for everyone, either.  But one should know all realms."

"It's interesting to watch him, to watch the others watching him."  Jensen took a quick glance around to see that many men were staring at William with open admiration and want.  He looked at Jared, afraid of what he might see in his friend's gaze.

Jared looked down at Jensen and though there was admiration in his eyes for William's abilities, there was no desire.  That flame had been happily extinguished.  But as he looked at Jensen, he allowed a tiny bit of want to creep into his expression.  "And what do you think of him, Jensen?"

"He's quite talented and good at making people desire him."  Jensen nudged Jared to look at a table of gentlemen to their left.  "There is one gentleman there who looks at William as though he were a feast and dessert combined."

Jared glanced over and smiled a little at the open want on the man's face.  "And does that disgust you, Jen?  Make you wish you were elsewhere, so you did not have to witness such behavior?"

"No, not at all... not if William is accepting of it."  Jensen smiled slightly.  "I think that finding love and attraction at all would be a wondrous thing, regardless of where and with whom."

"I hoped you would be of that opinion," Jared said, pulling him closer.  He glanced back at the stage and blinked in surprise to find William looking at him with obvious delight and a hint of anger.

Jensen looked up at Jared and then back to the dancers when he saw that Jared was not looking at him.  He noted that William was staring at them and moved slightly closer to Jared.  Confrontation was assuredly his last wish, but Jensen did not like William’s expression.

Jared lifted an eyebrow at William and then looked back down at Jensen with a smile, as he settled closer.  "Do you like the absinthe?  We should have some food with it, or else we will be tipplers before the second glass."

"I do like it, it's quite delicious.  Definitely a bit heady."  Jensen looked up at Jared with a grin and eyes that were slightly glassy.  "Food might be a brilliant idea, in fact."  Sighing softly, Jensen leaned slightly more against Jared.

"We'll have to wait until after the dance to signal a waiter," Jared said, with a grin at how Jensen already looked tipsy.  "I suggest you wait until we have some food to drink anymore."  He glanced back up as the music stopped and frowned a little when William headed their way.

Jensen nodded, knowing that Jared possessed far more wisdom in such things than he did.  He turned to see what Jared was looking at, a scowl forming on his face when he realized that William was headed their way. 

"Jared," William said in a lovely French accent.  "It has been too long since I have seen you."  He tipped his head, blue eyes warm and hopeful. 

"William," Jared said with a slight nod of acknowledgement.  "This is my friend Jensen Ackles."  He stressed the word friend. 

William's eyes flickered over Jensen dismissively.  "Indeed.  Monsieur Ackles."

"William," Jensen murmured the greeting for politeness sake, but kept a wary gaze on the other man.  He was well used to being overlooked and dismissed, but he was the one sitting with Jared, and unless Jared explicitly told him to move, Jensen was staying put.

William looked back at Jared, everything appealing and enticing in his expression.  "I hoped we might spend some time together, now that you are back in Paris.  When you are no longer occupied with your friend."

Jared tightened his arm around Jensen and shook his head.  "I fear we shall be leaving Paris in a few days and are busy until then.  And I am not of a mind to spend time with one who is unkind to Jensen."    

Watching the byplay of the two men, Jensen felt a thrill of pleasure zing through him at the idea that Jared would rather spend time with him than with someone else.  He couldn't help the huge grin that broke out on his face while he snuggled into Jared's side. 

William glared at Jensen and then flicked his gaze contemptuously at Jared.  "Indeed."  Without another word, he turned on his heel and walked to a table where he was greeted much more joyously.

"I am sorry," Jared said, hugging Jensen with his one arm.  "I do not know what caused him to act that way.  I knew him only casually when I was here before."

"I would imagine that many want your attention."  Jensen looked at William's table for a moment, before staring out at the people around them, anything but looking at Jared.  "If you wanted to spend some time with him, you could.  I- I can go to our rooms on my own." 

Jared stilled the restless movement of Jensen's head with a gentle hand and tilted his chin up.  "I am here with you.  You are whom I wish to spend my time with.  No one else.  Understand?"

Jensen saw the truth and sincerity in Jared's gaze, nodded and offered a smile of his own.  "Yes, Jared, I understand."  He relaxed again, glad that Jared seemed to truly enjoy his company.

"Now, we need to order some food to go with the strong drink, before you are beyond recovery." Jared flashed a teasing grin and signaled for a waiter.

"Hmmm, how about some of the bread and cheese we had earlier? Do you think that shall be available here?" Jensen asked quietly, turning his smile up to Jared.

Jared chuckled and said, "You like the simpler things in life, don't you? That will be easiest fare to order." He spoke to the waiter in perfect French and stroked Jensen's chest lightly, before sliding his hand down a little to stroke over his abdomen.

Shivering at Jared's touch, Jensen sighed softly. "The food here is spectacular, Jared, and the bread and cheese are probably the best we've had." He curled slightly toward Jared's chest, head tipped up to look at him. The rest of the room faded from his interest the more Jared held him.

Jared rumbled deep in is chest, a noise of contentment as Jensen shivered in his arms. He knew he nearly had Jensen now, so close to those final steps. But he needed one more round of patience, as he coaxed Jensen toward intimate acts. When the waiter set down their food, he sighed and said, "I must release you."

"It seems you must." Jensen waited until Jared loosened his grip before pushing himself upright on the seat. He glanced out over the room, taking in a bit more of the general merriment of a place unlike any he'd seen before.

Jared glanced out, too, judging the crowd, and then helped himself to the bread, cheese and meat. "Once you have a bit of this in you, try the drink again."

Jensen dug into the bread and cheese, making a smallish sandwich with the two items first. He wanted to savor the taste before he ate any of the cold meats. "How often have you come to this place? Is there anything like this in London?"

Jared watched Jensen eat with a soft smile, unaware of the expression. "I came here a few times when I visited Paris, but not enough to be a regular. There are many pubs in England with a similar atmosphere, though none quite so free. We English are inclined to be a bit stodgy."

Snorting with laughter, Jensen turned a bright gaze on Jared. "That is most assuredly the truth, isn't it? I hadn't any idea that people were so." He waved his knife at the crowd to indicate their freeness, something he was heartily wishing he could enjoy himself. "It is all rather amazing to me."

"When you are more comfortable, I will teach you to dance with me," Jared said with a wicked twinkle in his eyes. "Help you learn to throw off your British stiffness."

"Dance with you?" Jensen asked, eyes wide with surprise, nerves and desire. "Truly, as they are?" He looked back toward the people on the dance floor now that the show was over.

"If you are willing to stand up with such as myself," Jared said. He touched Jensen's arm lightly. "Tis just an idea, and one which you are free to dismiss, if it holds no interest."

"Oh no, I think..." Jensen stopped and flicked his tongue over his lower lip. "I think that would be interesting and enjoyable, if you would like to show me." He turned, hope and nerves in his eyes, while he nibbled on a square of the cheese.

Jared smiled slowly, the sun breaking out of the clouds, and said, "We can start in a quieter place, so you do not have to be so much in the public eye. I know you are not fond of crowds." He brushed his hand over Jensen's lower back.

Jensen leaned into Jared's touch with a cheeky grin. "You simply do not want to be seen with someone who shall err as I know I shall in learning the dance." He winked at Jared and bit into another small sandwich he'd made with the bread.

Jared allowed a surge of pleasure as Jensen openly flirted with him and said, "I expect you shall pick up the dances quite easily, Jen, as you are adept at anything you truly put your mind to."

Flushing at the compliment, Jensen demurred. "It looks like everyone is having a wonderful time." Finishing off the second sandwich, Jensen reached for his drink and sipped at it again, delighting in the way it went to his head.

Jared glanced at their glasses and said, "Would you like a little more of the absinthe? Or perhaps something else to help ease the potency?"

"More absinthe." Jensen grinned, not realizing the desire that was seeping into his eyes. "I truly want to experience this place tonight, Jared."

"I am not sure that is a good idea, Jen," Jared said, tilting his head to regard Jensen with warm, amused slant eyes. "You may be a bit more susceptible to drink, since you are less used to it than I."

Jensen blinked slowly and then looked into Jared's eyes before he pouted slightly. "Do you think so?" He finished off what he had left of the absinthe and leaned on Jared, hand on his thigh.

Jared glanced at the hand on his leg and said, "If you can make it to the bar, order us two more drinks and make it back without spilling anything, I wager you are capable of managing the second absinthe."

Looking at the bar, it seemed further away than he remembered, but Jensen nodded and grinned at Jared. "I shall fetch us two more drinks, then, shall I?" He leaned heavily into Jared's chest, hoping Jared would agree.

Jared glanced over the crowd again and then down at Jensen. "Be careful," he said and gently helped Jensen right himself.

Jensen got his feet under him, straightened his jacket and focused on the bar. He was a bit surprised at how much concentration it took to simply put one foot in front of the other on the way across the room.

A string of cursing from the opposite side of the bar caught Jared's attention, and he swung his head toward a small knot of men, obviously having a confrontation. He glanced at the distance between them and Jensen, deciding they were a safe distance away at the moment. Still... he eased himself to the edge of the booth.

Grinning at the bartender, Jensen leaned heavily on the polished surface and ordered another two glasses of absinthe, turning to look at the loud sounds coming from a group of men a bit away. He was a bit shocked at the display, never having seen something as basic as a public brawl before.

The argument turned to violence before Jared could even blink, and he swore, tossed some bills on the table and made his way across the floor toward Jensen. But the crowd had surged in anticipation of the fight now, and they slowed his progress, even as the men closed in on Jensen.

Jensen frowned when the rowdy group of men got close and shook his head at the bartender when the man asked him to confirm his order. He was far more concerned about staying at the edges of the crowd than the drinks that had sent him there in the first place.

The flash of a blade, and panic surged through Jared because the group was headed straight for Jensen, weapons slashing in an artless fashion. He began to shove and toss people out of his way, ignoring the angry and fearful cries that followed in his wake. He needed to get to Jensen, now, and get him safe.

Looking around the bar, Jensen saw that most of the place had given itself up to the fight, people swarming around him from all directions. Jensen suddenly realized how much the absinthe had affected him and how not all right that was when he was about to be involved in a brawl.

Jared snarled when two of the fighting men slammed into Jensen. He sent the last people in his way flying, grabbed one of the two fighters, threw him into a table and then turned to find himself facing a man with a knife bare-handed.

Yelling at the men who hit him, Jensen pushed his way back again, moving slightly to the side in time to see Jared throwing someone around and then abruptly being blocked from view. He screamed Jared's name, trying to push through the crowd toward his friend.

Jared lifted his hands in a ready position, dodging to the right as the man slashed at him. They circled, Jared trying to find a way to get at the knife without being cut. He avoided a couple more strikes, landed a glancing punch to the man's nose and then danced back in time to avoid being punctured in the stomach. "Fuck," he snarled. "I will kill you if you ruin my clothes."

Jensen was having no luck getting through the crowd, though Jared had shifted, and he could finally see that Jared was fighting a man with a knife. The visual sent Jensen scrambling harder through the crowd to Jared. He had no idea what he'd do once he got to Jared's side, but it seemed vital that he get to his friend.

The man blinked at the words and the sheer menace on Jared's face, but was too angry and drunk to do the smart thing. Instead, he launched himself at Jared with a hoarse yell.

Jared felt the sleeve and skin of his right arm peel back on the half-blunt knife blade, before he grabbed the man and threw him over the bar and into the mirror behind. Whirling to find Jensen now that the threat was gone, he parted the spectators like the Red Sea, grabbed Jensen around the waist and carried him outside.

Watching the final part of Jared's fight, Jensen yelled when Jared was cut, pushing his way toward Jared even while Jared was moving through the crowd. When Jared grabbed him, Jensen held on and helped Jared get them out of the bar. Once out on the street, Jensen looked down and cried out, "You're cut, Jared." He started to peel back the material to get a look at Jared's arm.

Jared stared at the blood trickled from his arm, cursed a little and said, "Do you have a handkerchief?"  He fumbled his own from a pocket and tied it clumsily around the wound.  "Just tie them tight.  We'll have a cab take us to a doctor."

Jensen pulled out his handkerchief and waited until Jared was done tying his on to get the second one wrapped around and tied tight.  He held on to Jared's arm, keeping the pressure steady above the wound and looked at Jared with worry in his eyes.  "Are you well otherwise?  I saw that man attacking you with the knife- did he cut you anywhere else?"  Jensen was doing a cursory inspection of Jared's person while he spoke.

Without thought, Jared wrapped his good hand around the back of Jensen's head and pulled him into a kiss.  He stroked the short hair beneath his fingers, relieved that Jensen had been unharmed by the brawl.  When his brain suddenly alerted him to his actions, he released Jensen and said, "I am sorry.  I acted on emotion, happy that you are uninjured.  Please forgive me if I caused any distress."  
Jensen stared at Jared, fingers tracing his lips.  He looked into Jared's face with wonder and a hint of shyness.  "I did not mind, Jared.  I- " Jensen hesitated and then stroked his fingers over Jared's lips.  "Would you do that again?"

Jared slid his arm down around the small of Jensen's back and pulled him into a deep, long kiss.  He licked gently at Jensen's lower lip, testing his willingness to open up.  He held his bleeding arm away from Jensen, not wanting to remind him of the injury.

Thrilling to the way Jared held him, Jensen slid his hand to Jared's shoulder and pressed his lips into Jared's.  He gasped softly at the swipe of Jared's tongue over his lip, fluttering his eyelashes, while he relaxed into the moment and opened his mouth to Jared.

Jared deepened the kiss the second Jensen allowed, exploring deep into his mouth.  He finally pulled back with a slight hiss of pain and a sigh of regret.  "I wish I might continue so delightful a moment, but my arm demands some attention of its own."  He pulled the still bleeding appendage to his chest.  "Come, we will find a doctor."   
Jensen flushed with nerves, shame and regret for losing Jared's kiss and forgetting his friend's injury.  "Yes, I am sure the innkeeper at our rooms would be able  to assist us with a doctor if you would rather that than someone around here might suggest."  Jensen looked around with trepidation at finding a reputable surgeon in their current area.

Jared touched the flush on Jensen's cheeks and whispered, "You need not feel bad, my Jensen.  Twas I who started what I cannot finish."  He pressed another soft kiss to his full mouth and then signaled down the street for a cab.  "We shall have the coachmen direct us to a physician."  
Jensen touched his lips again, looking at Jared with a bit of wonder and fear in his eyes.  "I am not sure what you mean."  He reached out and checked Jared's arm, pleased to see the bandages still tied tightly.  "You shall tell me later," he said.   
Jared nodded as the cab pulled out and gestured Jensen inside.  He asked the cabbie to take them to the nearest physician of good repute and climbed in after Jensen.  He waited a few minutes, as they rumbled through the streets, before saying, "You must decide if you wish this to go any further. Only you may make that choice."   
Biting his lip, Jensen looked at Jared with uncertainty.  He wanted to feel more of what he felt with Jared, but Jensen didn't know what that meant.  Or even what Jared meant by taking it further.  "I want... I do not know what I want, Jared.  I do not know what I can have, what you mean."   
Jared nodded a little and said, "We can continue on as we have then.  There are so many places for you to see."  He looked down at his arm.  "Though I suppose my choices may leave a little to be desired."   
"Do not say that, Jared.  I have enjoyed all that we have done."  Jensen laid his hand on Jared's forearm.  "Well, except for seeing you cut.  I was afraid that man was going to seriously wound you."  He stroked his fingers slowly over Jared's arm, wanting to maintain their contact.   
Jared turned toward Jensen and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.  "When I saw the fight begin, my only thought was to get to you.  I berated myself for taking you to such a place, exposing you to hard drink and low behavior.  Had you been injured, I would have never forgiven myself."   
Jensen leaned slightly into Jared, careful of his injury.  "I could only think to get back to you, and when I saw that man with the knife, I was afraid for you.  Not once for myself."  He grinned slightly.  "Except for your injury, it was quite the invigorating evening.”   
"Still, no more of that," Jared said.  "I will not risk you again."  He frowned as the cab halted and peered out.  "We seem to be in a good section of town.  Will you help the invalid?"   
"Oh, of course."  Jensen hopped up and opened the door, before jumping down and turning back to offer his hand to Jared.  "There is a reputable surgeon in here?" Jensen asked the driver, nodding at the building.

Jared nudged Jensen forward and tipped a thanks to the cabbie.  "Do not insult our driver," he said, urging him toward the door.  "We have to get back to the hotel, as well."

"But Jared, I shan't take you to someone who is not reputable.  I want you repaired, not further injured."  Jensen scowled slightly while Jared moved him forward and inside.  "I will not risk you."

The disapproving twist of Jensen's mouth begged for Jared to kiss it better, so he did, lingering over the press of their lips and gentle dance of their tongues.  "I promise," he whispered against Jensen's mouth, “that if all does not seem right with this doctor, we shall leave and find another."

Slightly mollified, Jensen nodded and flicked his tongue over his lips where Jared had kissed him.  "That is acceptable, then."  He smiled and kept his hand in place on Jared's arm before raising ringing the bell.  It seemed an interminable wait before an older woman opened the door and peered out.

"May I help you?" she asked, and Jensen launched into a quick description of Jared's injury.

She smiled slightly and widened the door.  "Do come in and have a seat.  I shall fetch the doctor." 

Once the woman was out of sight, Jensen relaxed slightly and then turned to Jared.  "Is your arm stiff?  We should try and get you out of the jacket, if possible."

Jared nodded and said, "You shall have to help me.  I cannot maneuver my arm to pull off the sleeves."  He smiled apologetically at Jensen.  "This is not how I imagined this night proceeding."

"Nor I, but we must be certain you are okay."  Jensen reached out and helped Jared slide the jacket off.  He carefully eased the material down off Jared's arm and then ran gentle fingers around the edge of the wound.  "How does it feel?"

"Hurts," Jared said with a rueful chuckle.  "I just wanted to be your bold knight, defending your honor and virtue."  He brushed the knuckles of his good hand over Jensen's right cheek.  "You are worth a little pain."

Jensen flushed, eyes fluttering closed before he looked back up at Jared.  "So long as you do not suffer over much.  I do not want to see you in pain, Jared."  Jensen kept his touch gentle, skating his hand around the edge of the wound.

A middle aged man entered the room and cleared his throat uncomfortably.  "I see you have a slight problem, Sir," he said, gesturing to Jared's arm.  "If you will leave your friend and follow me, I shall attend to it immediately."

Jared made a face at the doctor's retreating form and then brushed a soft kiss over Jensen's lips.  "He may be reputable, but that does not make me like him," he said.  "I shall return soon, my Jensen."

Biting his lip, Jensen nodded.  "I shall await you here."  He clasped his hands together and dropped them into his lap.

Jared smiled at Jensen, flashing his dimples.  He followed the doctor into the other room, hoping this would not take long.  It would not do to keep Jensen waiting.  
~~~~~~~~~~


	4. First Time

Jensen stirred two sugars and a dollop of cream into each of the coffee cups before taking them in hand and crossing to where Jared sat near their fire.  He placed the cups in front of Jared on the table.  "How is the pain?  Do you need any of the medicine from the doctor before the coffee?"

Jared smiled up at Jensen and leaned back into his comfortable chair, cup in hand.  "I am well, Jensen.  Please, stop fluttering about so and sit down."  He gestured to the chair across from his.

Smiling, Jensen slid into his seat and took up his own cup of coffee.  "Are you certain you do not need to lay down yet?"  He played with the cup of coffee, turning it slightly while his eyes remained trained on Jared.

Jared kicked him lightly in the shin and said, "I am beginning to think you wish me to spare you my presence.  Shall I retire to bed and leave you be?"

"Oh, goodness no, Jared."  Jensen grinned at him, reaching out with his foot and tapping it lightly against Jared's leg.  "I just cannot imagine that you are comfortable."

"My arm feels quite well enough for the moment, my Jensen," Jared said, "and I thank you for thinking of me."  He rubbed his foot over Jensen's gently.

Jensen ducked his head with a smile at Jared.  "I find myself thinking of you much of the time."  He dropped his voice to a whisper.  "Especially since you kissed me earlier."

"And truly, you did not object to my doing so?" Jared said.  "For I know it was a terrible imposition on my part, and one that might have been the ruin of many a friendship."

"I did not expect it, of course."  Jensen sipped at his coffee.  "I would not have said that I wanted it until you did it and then I wanted you to do it again."  He smiled shyly, looking at Jared.  "I did not know that men did that with one another."

Jared set down his cup, rattling it in the saucer a little.  "You had never heard of men sharing love before?" he asked.  "I know it is not accepted practice, but I assure you that it is not uncommon.  Many great civilizations condoned, even encouraged, the love between men."

Jensen nodded.  "Well, in theory, yes, I knew that it was a part of many civilizations.  But in our own... as a part of our world.. no, I did not know it was something in practice."

Jared rubbed the back of his head and smiled a little sheepishly at Jensen.  "Well, surprise?" he said, spreading his hands.

Jensen couldn't help the laugh that escaped. "It was a surprise, yes, but it was also a surprise when I responded to it.  I had no idea that I would like such a thing."

"And now?" Jared asked, straightening up and facing Jensen with a serious expression.

"I do not know what now.  I enjoyed your kisses."  Jensen looked at his coffee.  "I asked you for more, but I do not know what it means to you."

"More means a lot of things," Jared said.  "Do you wish more physically?  More emotionally?  I need some context, Jensen."

Jensen shrugged and the looked at Jared.  "I do not know.  I know that I have never felt anything like this for anyone.  Not ever... not a single person my family has pushed in front of me.  But you have not said what you want... or what it means to you."

"Fine, if I am to answer all the questions," Jared said, keeping irritation out of his voice.  He hated being the one to lay everything out, preferring his marks took that step.  But he seemed to be doing everything in an unconventional manner for Jensen.  "I should like to know you in every way it is possible for two people to know each other.  Is that clear enough?"

Blinking at Jared, Jensen flushed a bright red and nodded, before ducking down and lowering his eyelashes.  Jensen took a deep breath and then lifted his gaze to Jared's.  "Will you show me?  Teach me what it is to feel these things?"

Jared breathed out hard and said, "Yes.  Oh yes, Jensen."  He paused, face serious, as he studied Jensen.  "You must be certain, Jensen.  Certain that this is what you want."

"I am not certain of anything, Jared.  Not of anything more than that I want you to hold me.  I want you to kiss me. I want to feel safe with you."  Jensen smiled, shy and hesitant, so afraid of losing his only friend.

Jared moved to kneel at Jensen's feet, resting both good and bad arm lightly on his knees.  "That is as good of a place as any to begin," he said.  He lifted his head, eyes warm and inviting, hoping Jensen would kiss him of his own accord.

Jensen placed his coffee to the side and reached out with one hand to trace his fingers down the side of Jared's face.  He pushed back the longer strands of hair and then traced his fingertips over Jared's lips.  "I have no idea how to deal with these feelings I have for you, Jared."  Jensen tangled his fingers in Jared's hair and leaned in for a soft kiss.

Jared kissed back just as softly and then rubbed his cheek against Jensen's.  "We shall have to figure out together how to make our way."  He smiled and pressed a kiss under each of Jensen's eyes.  "Do you think that might work?"

"I think that certainly could work, Jared."  Jensen reached out instinctively, cupping his hands around Jared's face and pulling him in again for more kisses.  He was quickly becoming addicted to the way Jared's mouth felt against his, the way their breath mingled, and the thrill that shot through his body when he thought about what he was doing.

Jared reached out and stroked over the bulge in Jensen's pants with his good hand, testing the water.  He kept his mouth fastened to Jensen’s, rubbing their tongues together slowly.  His bad arm rested on Jensen's legs, fingers idly stroking a knee.

Jensen gasped softly into Jared's mouth, hips pressing up quick and uncoordinated into the new experience of Jared's hand on him.  He pulled from Jared's mouth, panting slightly and looking into his gaze.  "Jay."

Jared smiled and asked softly, "Do you wish me to teach you this way of touching, Jensen?"

Hesitating for a mere breath, Jensen nodded and stroked his thumb over Jared's cheekbone.  "I've never done this, Jay.  Never done anything like this, but I want to know what it feels like with you."

Jared glanced down at his bad arm and frowned a little.  "Not like this, Jen.  I want to be at my best for you.  Make you feel so good."

Jensen nodded, biting his lower lip and trying to convince himself that Jared wasn't saying no to him.  "When you are better, then?" Jensen asked, much as he tried to make it a statement and not a question.

Jared heard the nerves and smiled to himself.  "There is something I can do, Jen, that will not tax my hands.  May I undo your breeches?"

On completely new ground, Jensen nodded.  He stared at Jared with wide eyes and parted lips, while his breath came in quick, soft pants.

Jared fumbled a little with the complicated pants, before slowly pulling them open.  "Lift up, so I can pull them down," he commanded.  "I'm going to teach you something wonderful."

Jensen responded with saying a word.  He lifted his hips, gasping slightly when Jared's warm, slightly rough fingers dragged down the skin of his thighs.  Jensen fell into a fit of shivers and grabbed onto the arms of the chair.

Jared looked up with gentle concern in his eyes and asked, "Is this all right, Jen?  I do not wish to do anything that might displease or distress you."  He turned to kiss a tender thigh and sucked a mark on the sweet flesh- Jensen's first love bite.

"Oh god, Jared."  Jensen dug his fingers into the chair, unable to tear his eyes away from where Jared was sucking on the skin of his thigh.  "God, I-" Jensen stopped, body writhing slightly in the chair while his cock responded in ways he wasn't used to.

Jared kissed the mark and then turned back to Jensen.  "Forgive me, I could not resist."  He turned his face to nuzzle against Jensen's cock, rubbing his cheek against the hardness and smiling at Jensen.  "I wish to take you in my mouth.  May I?"

Jensen blinked at Jared, nodding his head slowly.  "Why would you want to do that?"

Jared smiled and whispered, "You shall see."  He used his good hand to ease Jensen into position and then sucked him down like a professional.  Shutting his eyes and reveling in the taste and feel of Jensen, he bobbed his head slowly.  His insides twisted gleefully as he stripped away this first piece of Jensen's innocence, exposing the sensual man he knew lived inside.

"Oh holy Christ!"  Jensen's hips arched uncontrollably into Jared's mouth the minute he felt the warm wetness enclosing his cock.  He'd never felt anything like it before in his life and definitely saw why someone would want their cock sucked... though, if he'd been capable of thought, Jensen would have realized that it didn't truly answer his question about why Jared would want to suck him.  

Jared handled the thrusts and allowed Jensen to slip deep into his throat.  His first attempt at this, when he was but a callow lad of fifteen, he had gagged and nearly thrown up when his lover hit the back of his throat, but he knew exactly how to prevent that now.  Encouraging Jensen onward, he sucked even harder, wanting to taste the release.

Jensen barely lasted another couple of minutes before he cried out his release.  He dragged his hands from the arms of the chair and threaded them through Jared's hair while his friend continued to suck the very essence of his body out his cock.

Jared swallowed everything with a little smile and then pulled back, licking his lips.  He gently put Jensen's cock back safely in his undergarment, after pressing a fond kiss to the head.  "You are beautiful."

Tightening his hands in Jared's hair, Jensen pulled him up on his knees and kissed him hard.  He pulled back with a soft gasp and pressed their foreheads together.  "God, Jared."

"Does that mean you are satisfied, Jensen?" Jared asked with a sly smile.  He stroked Jensen's right cheek with his good hand.  "I tried to please you."

"I have never felt anything like that before, Jared.  Not remotely."  Jensen leaned his fast into Jared's hand and then turned to kiss his palm.  "It was amazing, but why do you like that?"

"Giving you pleasure... watching and feeling you respond to what I do to you... there is little more joyous in the world," Jared said.  "I am proud to be your first lover... I am your first, yes?" 

"My lover," Jensen repeated with a sigh of wonder.  "Oh yes, you are my only lover."  He flushed slightly and then leaned in for a soft kiss.

Jared clasped Jensen's head in his hands, easy on the bad one, and kissed back more firmly.  "Perhaps you might like to learn how to pleasure me?"  

Jensen flushed and dropped his gaze.  "I would like that very much, Jared, but I do not know that I would be any good at all.  I know nothing about being someone's lover."

"Well, I am more than willing to help you learn and keep in practice," Jared said, smiling up at him.  "Would you like to start tonight?"

"Yes, please.  I want to please you, Jared."  Jensen smiled shyly, lifting his gaze and then leaning forward to kiss Jared gently.

"Shall we go to bed, Jen?" Jared asked.  He pushed himself to his feet and held out a hand.  "We can just sleep together tonight, if you prefer."

Jensen slid his hand in Jared's.  "I want to know how to please you, but I would also like to sleep with you tonight."  He slid his arm around Jared's waist to snuggle in close.

Jared tipped up Jensen's head and kissed him, sweet and long.  "So, you wish to do both then?" he asked.

"Both," Jensen repeated, slightly stunned that he might have everything he wanted all in one night.  "Yes, I would like to do both."

Jared smiled and turned, holding Jensen with his good hand and pulling him to his bedroom.  He released Jensen when they got there, shutting the door behind them.  Walking toward the bed, he began to strip, dropping clothes on the floor.

Jensen stood, back against the door of the room, watching Jared strip out of his clothes.  His eyes were blown wide with desire and nerves, and Jensen tangled his fingers together to grip the wood of the door.  Wanting to join Jared, but afraid to move, Jensen watched him instead.

Jared turned to face Jensen as he removed the last of his clothes.  Leaning back on the bed, he gestured to Jensen.  "You can come here, Jen.  You don't have to do anything you feel uncomfortable with.  Just look and touch however you wish."

Crossing the room, Jensen took his time to strip himself out of his clothes.  He worried about his body, about whether or not Jared would find him attractive and then worried that he cared too much.  "I am afraid of disappointing you." he admitted before climbing on the edge of the bed.

Jared surveyed Jensen's body with lowered eyelids and rumbled his approval.  "You are beautiful, Jensen.  Perfect.  Come here to me."  He held out his good hand.

Jensen slid closer to Jared and laced his fingers with Jared's.  "I wish I could be as beautiful as you think I am."  He grinned shyly and drew Jared's hand to his mouth for a kiss.

Jared pulled him down on the mattress, moving to cradle him close.  "You are, if I say you are," he said with a hint of power in his voice.  "Understand?"

"Yes, Jared."  Jensen breathed his agreement out softly and leaned in as close to Jared as he could get.

Jared stroked Jensen's side gently and said, "You can touch me, Jen.  Anywhere you want.  Don't be afraid."

Jensen smiled and reached out his hand to touch Jared's chest.  He stroked his fingers over Jared's collarbone and then down his chest, rubbing his thumb over Jared's pebbled nipple.  "You're so warm, Jared.  Your skin is so soft."

Jared's eyelids fluttered, and he sighed a little at the tentative touches.  "Feels so good, Jen."  He moaned when Jensen brushed over his nipple and arched into the touch.  "Yes.  More, Jen.  Play with my nipples."

"You like that?" Jensen asked quietly, running his thumb over one of the nubs again.  He swiped it back and forth, over and over, watching in fascination as it grew harder and harder under his touch.  Shifting his weight, Jensen used his other thumb on the neglected nipple, watching Jared's chest with rapt fascination.

Jared hissed and arched into the teasing touches, finally tugging Jensen's hands away as his nipples turned oversensitive.  "Please handle with care, Jen," he whispered.  

Jensen blinked and looked up at Jared, biting his lower lip.  "Sorry.  I cannot help myself.  Your body likes my touch."  He grinned slightly and then leaned up for a kiss.

Jared kissed back, framing Jensen's face with his hand.  He pulled back and kissed the tip of Jensen's nose.  "Yes, I do like your touch.  A little too much."

Flushing slightly, Jensen turned his head from side to side to kiss Jared's palms before he pulled back.  "Tell me what you like?"

Jared chuckled and said, "I shall do better than that, dear Jen.  I will show you... let you explore and discover."  He tilted his head, eyes warm.  "If you wish."

"You mean I can simply touch you how I like?"  Jensen bit his lip again and looked at Jared through his lashes.

Jared nuzzled Jensen's face and kissed his cheeks softly.  "I would prefer that you did.  Touch however much or little as you desire and feel comfortable with.  I shall let you know, in so many ways, what touches are pleasing to me."

Jensen nodded his head, staring at Jared for a moment before pushing himself back from Jared's body on the bed.  He raked his gaze up and down Jared's body before reaching tentative fingers out to trace along the cut muscles in his abs.

Jared sighed a little and said, "Like them?  They are impossibly difficult to keep in that condition, but at moments like these, worth the effort.  They will also come in useful when I lift you in my arms and sweep you to bed."

"You want to do that?"  Jensen asked, eyes still on Jared's muscles and the way they responded to even the slightest touch of Jensen's fingers.  He pushed back even further from Jared's body so he had room to move and then placed both hands on Jared's abs before stroking them up to trace his chest.

Jared loved how tentative, yet eager, Jensen was about learning his body.  He lay passively on the bed, watching his new lover's expression as his hands mapped Jared's body.  "Methinks you are too distracted for coherent conversation," he purred, used to keeping his wits during sex... and at all other times.

Jensen hummed, whether agreement or denial he couldn't say.  The feeling of Jared's skin under his hands -hot and so smooth- left Jensen slightly weak and headed toward breathless.  When you added in the visual of his hands gliding over the gorgeous body,   
Jensen shuddered and moaned softly.  "You are so beautiful, Jared."

"Am I?" Jared asked.  "Not so much as you, I think."  He rubbed over Jensen's hip.  "Use your mouth on me.  All over."

"My mouth?" Jensen asked, flashing slightly startled eyes up to Jared.  He licked his lips subconsciously and then looked back down at the expanse of Jared's body in front of him.  Scooting closer again and leaning down, Jensen flicked his tongue out and around one of Jared's nipples-marveling at the firmness, the puckered skin and the hint of salt on his tongue.

"Mmm, yes, that is a good start," Jared praised.  "May I show you something?"  He reached up to play with one of Jensen's nipples.

Jensen shuddered when Jared touched him, breath sighing out softly.  "Oh god, Jared.  God," he groaned when his cock twitched at the touches.

"What do you know about relations between men and women or men and men?" Jared asked, easing Jensen on his back and rolling up on his knees.  He kissed down Jensen's neck and sucked at various spots, searching for areas that made Jensen moan.

Blushing hotly, Jensen turned his head away and put his hands up to stop Jared's explorations.  "I know little about it, Jared.  My father never really explained and my brother often teased me for being slow with women."

Jared brushed his lips over the hot blush on Jensen's cheeks.  "No matter.  Where they failed you, I shall not.  There is so much I can teach you, Jen, if you want me to do so."

"But why should you want me if I do not know what I am doing?"  Jensen's lashes fluttered while he tried not to look up at Jared.

Jared suppressed the dark smile that twisted the corners of his mouth.  "You will learn, my Jen.  I am quite certain that you will be a natural at all things sensual."  He reached down to cup Jensen's balls in his fingers and rolled them gently.

Jensen glanced up fast and shocked, gripping Jared tightly when the burst of pleasure rolled through his body.  He cried out, slightly shocked, and then pulled Jared in for a hard kiss.

Jared allowed Jensen to lead the kiss, still kneading lightly at the flesh in his hand.  When they broke for breath, he whispered, "Everyone is different and likes different things, but there are places that are often the same.  Ears.  Neck.  Nipples.  The back of the knee.  Inner thighs.  Use them to help stimulate your lover."

Reaching up, Jensen traced his finger along the shell of Jared's ear before dragging it down his throat.  "Do you like those places to be touched?" Jensen asked, leaning down and nibbling at Jared's jaw.

Jared lifted his chin so Jensen could access him more easily, before rolling again to put Jensen back on top.  "Yes.  Yes, I do.  Some more than others.  Find out."

Jensen took the invitation and flicked his tongue at Jared's ear, tracing it and then blowing over the dampness he'd left behind.  Shivering, Jensen fluttered his lashes and then gripped Jared's shoulders.  "Already know how much you like your nipples touched."

Jared growled a little at the soft touches to his ear.  "Yes, you do."  He smacked Jensen's ass playfully.  "Already getting smug, too."  

Chuckling, Jensen broke off in a slight squeak when Jared smacked him.  "Can I touch them again now, Jared?"  Jensen slowly slid down Jared's body, flicking his tongue over Jared's collarbone.

"Yes," Jared said, tracing the bumps of Jensen's spine.  "Oh yes, Jen.  Suck them and make me moan for you."

Jensen shuddered at the thought and lightly trailed his fingers over the hard nubs before he leaned down and flicked his tongue over the right one.  Another sharp burst of salt, and Jared flooded Jensen's senses.  He leaned back and rubbed his thumb over that nipple while sliding over to taste the other one.

"Tease," Jared murmured with a soft smile.  He rubbed Jensen's scalp with long fingers and whispered, "Suck, Jen.  I love the way it feels.  Please."

At Jared's instruction, Jensen sucked the left nipple into his mouth.  He held Jared's skin taut and flicked his tongue over the nub, his nipples hardening and cock responding to the sounds Jared made.

"Oh Gods, Jen, you are a natural," Jared moaned, hands tightening on the back of Jensen's head.  "So good to me."

Jensen moaned again, body shifting restlessly on the bed in response to Jared's heated words.  He continued to suckle at Jared's nipple, finally pulling off to pant softly and then dive onto the other nipple for another taste.

Jared stifled a yelp of pleasure when Jensen latched on to his nipple.  He reached down to grasp handfuls of Jensen's firm ass and pull him close to Jared.  "Yes, Jen.  Mmm.  More.  Come on, Jen."

Suckling for another moment, Jensen broke off with a soft cry and rutted his hips easily against the bed.  "God, Jay, I had no idea."  He trembled and leaned down again to lave his tongue over and around Jared's nipples.

Jared laughed again and maneuvered Jensen so their hips fit snugly together.  "Never had any idea of what, dear Jen?"

"You like it so much.  I never knew that anyone could like their nipples touched like this."  Jensen flushed shyly, ducking his head and then groaning at the way his cock dragged along Jared's skin.

"Everyone is different," Jared said, flicking one of Jensen's nipples.  He traced his mouth over the red flush of Jensen's cheeks.  "You can bring me to fulfillment just by stimulating them, if you do it right."

Jensen stared at Jared, blinking owlishly in astonishment.  "Truly?  You like it that much?"  He could not help but reach out and drag his thumbs over the hard nubs again.

Jared swore under his breath at the unexpected move and then said, "Yes."  He caught Jensen's hands and kissed them both.  "We shall try that sometime, yes?”

"Yes, please."  Jensen shuddered at the thought of there being more of these nights.  Surging up, he kissed Jared firmly on the mouth.

Jared caught Jensen and kissed back, hands running all over Jensen's perfect body.  He slid a finger between his ass and slid it over the ring of muscle there, just teasing.

Jensen jumped at Jared's touch, a full body shiver running over him.  He pulled back with eyes wide and uncertain, pleading with Jared for instruction or information.

Jared patted the smooth skin of Jensen's backside and whispered, "For later, my Jen.  Now, do you wish to learn any particular way to bring me pleasure?  Your hands?  Your mouth?  We could just move together, pressing as we are now.  That is always a lovely way for both partners to enjoy themselves."

"I do not know, Jared."  Jensen bit his lip, the choices before him overwhelming and foreign.

Jared kissed him, freeing his bottom lip.  "There is no wrong answer, Jen," he assured.  "None at all.  Not even that you wish to stop now."

Jensen shook his head.  "No, I do not wish to stop."  He closed his eyes and leaned against Jared.  "Can you choose, please?  It is too much for me."

Jared tightened his arms around Jensen and whispered, "Of course, my Jen.  Since we are in Paris, let us begin with what the French call frotter."  He reached between them and used his large hand to bring their cocks into contact, rubbing them against each other.  "Thrust, Jen."

"Frotter," Jensen murmured softly, sighing at the gentle touch of Jared's hand and then the hardness of Jared's body pressed tight to his.  He arched his hips back slightly and then pushed forward into Jared, moaning while he did so. 

"Lovely Jen," Jared whispered again, turning to bite at Jensen's right earlobe and tugging gently with his teeth.  He let Jensen set the pace and then matched him, thrusting his powerful body in time.  "Like this?"

Jensen shivered at the bite to his ear, tipping his head to the side and resting his forehead on Jared's shoulder.  "Oh, Jared."  He rocked his hips against Jared's, clinging to him as the pleasure shooting up his spine.

"That's right, Jen.  Just do what feels good," Jared coached.  "Whatever you think we will enjoy.  Trust your instincts."

Trusting his instincts was easier said than done in Jensen's way of thinking, but he slowly slid his hips back and forth.  It took him a bit to find a remotely decent rhythm, but after a few moments, Jensen rocked them together and panted out harsh little breaths.

Jensen was so perfect, so deliciously sensual when he finally let himself go, and Jared felt a deep thrill of victory and something much, much deeper in his gut.  He followed Jensen's lead, wanting to keep the other man feeling safe and in control.  "Getting me so close, Jen."

"So good, Jared.  I never knew anything felt this way."  Jensen turned his head, trying to kiss Jared and maintain their rhythm together.

Jared shifted his head so they could kiss, press of lips and tongue.  He murmured, "This is only the beginning, Jen.  So much more for us."

The thought of having more with Jared, of this and of his company, left Jensen shuddering, hips losing their rhythm while he rode the wave of pleasure that built inside him.  Jensen gripped Jared's shoulder tight and kissed him harder than he had before when he lost control and pulsed hotly between their bodies.

Jared pressed his face into Jensen's neck and stifled any amusement at how quickly Jensen came.  He used a few tricks on himself that brought his own release just seconds after Jensen's, coating his hand and their middles with sticky release.  He rode the orgasm hard, head falling back, and then sank back down into the bed, boneless and content.

Jensen clung to Jared, curling around him without realizing it when his friend settled into the mattress.  "Jay," he breathed over Jared's collarbone, nuzzling at his jaw.

"That was lovely, Jen," Jared praised in a warm, richly satisfied voice.  "You are lovely.  And so perfect in my arms.  Will you stay the night with me?"

"Yes, Jared, I would like that."  Jensen turned his head on Jared's chest, looking up at him with a thoroughly satisfied expression he'd never had before.  "I -" Jensen hesitated before taking a deep breath and finally just saying what he wanted.  "I've never felt for anyone the way I feel about you, Jared.  I am so glad of your friendship."

"Do you wish me to order up a bath, so we might both clean off a little?" Jared asked, smile teasing.  He slid a hand through the slick, cooling mess on his skin, before sucking it off his fingers.  He pulled Jensen down for a kiss to share their flavors.

Jensen returned Jared's kiss, tongue sliding out to taste the mingled flavors before he pulled back and shook his head.  "Only if you would prefer.  I am quite content to sleep here in your arms."

Jared pressed a kiss to Jensen's nose.  "You will find it best to clean up a bit now, I think."  He reluctantly parted with Jensen and rose, moving gracefully to the basin, pouring out some water and taking a clean cloth to wet.  He returned to the bed to clean off Jensen first, before wiping himself down.  Tossing the rag into a corner, he climbed back into the bed and pulled Jensen back into his arms.  "Now, we may sleep."

Smiling at Jared's thoughtfulness, Jensen stretched on the bed and then watched while Jared dragged the cloth over his skin.  He shivered slightly and once Jared pulled away, Jensen moved under the covers, holding them open until Jared joined him and he could settle snugly into Jared's arms.  "I am glad that you are my friend, Jared.  And, that you are the person to teach such wondrous things."

Jared tilted Jensen's face up to kiss him thoroughly.  "Such effusive praise," he purred, "when I am the one who truly benefits.  You truly have no idea how lovely you are, how much pleasure you bring me."  He paused and stroked Jensen's cheek thoughtfully.  "And I am fortunate that you wish such a relationship with me.  Many men would be offended... sickened."      
   
Jensen flushed and leaned into Jared's hand.  "How could I be offended or sickened by your showing me affection?"  He dipped his head and then leaned in and kissed Jared softly.  "It is amazing to me that you find me interesting and desirable."

Jared rolled Jensen on his back and pressed kisses down his neck.  "You merely prove my point.  Now, we must rest.  There is still much of Paris for you to see.  And then we move on.  I am hoping that I shall convince you to travel longer with me."

Laughing, Jensen tipped his head back and writhed slightly on the bed.  "How am I to sleep when you keep kissing me?" Jensen teased, completely at ease with his friend.  "Who says I want to leave this room or this bed now?  I want you all to myself, Jared."

Jared arched an eyebrow and said softly, "I thought perhaps we would go slow with this thing between us."  He paused for effect.  "I appear to have misjudged what you may want from me."

"Oh no."  Jensen blushed fiercely, hiding his face in Jared's throat.  "No, please do not think I want anything less than your friendship and affection, Jared.  Not ever... I just do not want to share you with anyone else."

Jared smiled and stroked Jensen's hair and neck with gentle fingers.  "I can well appreciate that sentiment, my Jensen.  Forgive me if I have misjudged and hurt you."

Jensen pulled his head back to stare into Jared's eyes.  "You truly understand?"  He ducked his head again and smiled shyly.  "Do you feel the same about me?"

Jared nodded once.  "No one else shall touch you while I am in your life," he said softly.  "You see?"

"I would not want another to touch me."  Jensen shook his head and kissed Jared softly.  "Only you," he murmured, snuggling into Jared's side.

"Then I am content," Jared said.  He settled comfortably and wrapped Jensen in his arms.    
"Now, sleep.  Tomorrow, we shall discuss if we spend the day in bed or go out, even for a little while."

Jensen smiled and kissed underneath Jared's jaw.  "That sounds a perfect plan to me."  
~~~~~~~


	5. Together

Jared strode back into the hotel suite he shared with Jensen at the end of their last day in Paris.  He took off his coat and settled it over a chair, before turning to Jensen.  He beamed and asked, "Did you have fun today?"

Jensen stepped into the room behind Jared, dragging himself in Jared's wake, feeling tired and cranky.  He'd thought that he and Jared had crossed some sort of milestone, barrier, what have you, in their friendship, and the fact that Jared hadn't so much as touched him... or suggested that he spend the night in his bed again left Jensen out of sorts and confused.  However, he pasted on a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes and nodded.  "It's been a wonderful trip, Jared, and today was fantastic."

Jared smirked inwardly, though his outer facade remained friendly and open, and said, "Are you feeling well, Jensen?  You seem out of sorts.  I hope we did not go too far today for you."  He touched Jensen's left cheek gently, dragging his fingertips over the soft skin.

Leaning into the touch with a soft sigh, Jensen's smile warmed considerably.  "No, we did not go too far today," he breathed out, "but I was hoping we might order up food and stay in for the rest of the evening.  I have been missing spending time with only you."  
   
"I would enjoy that very much, my Jensen.  We have not had much time to merely enjoy each other's company these past few days."  Jared stepped forward and pressed a soft kiss to Jensen's forehead.

"No we have not." Jensen breathed the words out, eyes drifting closed while he leaned into Jared.  Reaching out, Jensen put his hands on Jared's waist and reveled in feeling him close.

Jared smiled brightly at Jensen's reaction and put a hand on the small of his back.  "What shall we have to dine?" he asked, lowering his head to whisper the words near Jensen's mouth.

Jensen shivered, leaning closer and brushing his lips gently over Jared's before he pulled back to whisper.  "Don't care.  Something light maybe."

Jared licked a little at Jensen's lips.  "Shall I go fetch the porter?" he asked, not moving away.

"Not quite yet," Jensen moaned softly, opening his mouth to encourage Jared's teasing touches.

"Jensen," Jared said teasingly, "if you wish to kiss me, you are free to do so.  I do not have to initiate kisses or intimate touches.  Indeed, I would love for you to take the lead sometimes."

"I wish to kiss you, Jared."  Jensen dragged his hands up from Jared's waist over his back to cup his shoulder blades and pull him in close and firm.  "I want to kiss you so much," he breathed the words over Jared's lips before finally kissing him the way he'd been aching to.

Jared kissed back, pulling Jensen tight against him.  He gentled his mouth so Jensen could do as he wished, enjoying the tentative first stab at leading.  His hands roamed over Jensen's back, pushing up his layers and sliding under to find skin.

Jensen groaned again, pressing closer and closer to Jared's body, moving them across the space of their room without realizing it.  He delved into the kisses, tasting and teasing and testing Jared's responses to him and his explorations. 

Jared ended up bumping into the wall and laughed softly into the kiss.  "I think you meant to propel me somewhere else," he said, dimples flashing.  "Are you hungry for more than food, my Jen?"

"Jared," Jensen growled slightly.  "Jared, please.  I do not know what I want, but I need you.  I have been craving your touch on me.  Please."

Jared lifted Jensen to his toes for another long, satisfying kiss.  "Then my touch you shall have, my Jen."  He released Jensen, pushed away from the wall and walked toward his bedroom.

Jensen sighed in relief, following closely after Jared.  He'd begun to wonder if Jared was ever going to touch him again.  It had begun to seem unlikely, and Jared's suggestion of slow had taunted Jensen with a never instead.

Jared turned when he reached the bed and shrugged off his coat.  "Shall we undress each other?" he asked.  "I find that is a fun way to begin."

"Yes," Jensen agreed, moving quickly to Jared's side and taking the coat from him to drape it over the chair.  He stroked his hands up Jared's arms.

Jared smiled and worked on Jensen's elaborate collar.  When he successfully removed the offending article, he bent down and pressed a kiss to the revealed skin.  And then teasingly sucked up a mark.

"Oh." The sound floated out of Jensen's mouth, eyes slipping shut while Jared sucked on his skin.  Jensen forced his eyes open to watch the way his fingers undid the row of buttons on Jared's shirt and parted it to reveal the gorgeous bronze skin underneath.

Jared stepped back to let the shirt fall open more and then removed his own collar.  "You may mark me, too," he said, gesturing to his chest.

Jensen looked down and then up at Jared with wide eyes.  "I may?" he asked, moving in closer and sliding his hands up and over Jared's chest.  Keeping his eyes on Jared's, Jensen lowered his head and licked over one collarbone.

Jared rumbled in pleasure and said, "Please, Jen, you may do what you wish with me."  He rubbed Jensen's back and then slid down to pinch his ass.

Groaning softly, Jensen turned his head into Jared's chest and then dragged it up Jared's throat.  He nibbled at the skin right beneath Jared's ear and then started to suckle on the spot, wanting a mark he could see.

Jared pressed his hand to Jensen's head and growled softly.  "You know you will cause me trouble with your possessive ways," he said, completely unconcerned.

"I want you all for myself and people like William to know that you are mine." 

Jared threw his head back and laughed, chest shaking with mirth.  "My delicious Jensen," he rumbled, ducking his head to kiss him slow and deep, "you have no need for jealousy."  He undid buttons on Jensen's shirt slowly and pushed it open.  His fingers found a perfect nipple and tweaked hard.

Jensen arched into Jared's touch, moaning low and kissing him back fiercely.  He slid his hands into Jared's hair and held his head still for a thorough kiss before pulling back with a gasp.  "Wasn't sure you still felt that way, Jared.  You've not looked at me like this or touched me in days."

"I did not mean to make you feel unwanted," Jared murmured.  "You should have told me before this, Jen."  He pushed Jensen's shirt off his shoulders and cupped his sides, thumbs rubbing and pressing into both nipples. 

Shivering, Jensen brought his hands down to grip at Jared's shoulders to keep him steady.  He was still unused to the way that pleasure skated down his spine when Jared touched him.  "Can I sleep in here with you tonight?" Jensen asked softly.

"Yes.  Oh, yes," Jared said, extending every syllable sensuously.  He struggled out of his shoes and then took Jensen's hands and placed them on his pants.  "Take them off."

Jensen reached out and fumbled with Jared's trousers, getting them unbuttoned and off Jared's hips fast as he could while also attempting to rid himself of his shoes.  Once Jared's pants were done, Jensen shook out of his shirt and let it fall to the floor.

Jared shucked off his remaining clothes and reached down to idly stroke himself a few times, enjoying the excited and fumbled way Jensen hurried out of his own.  "You make me desire you even more, when you make your own excitement so plain," he purred.  "Look at you, beautiful Jensen, falling all over yourself trying to get undressed for me."

Flushing hotly, Jensen ducked his head and offered Jared a shy smile.  "I have been wanting so much to be with you again."  He forced himself to stop, to slow down slightly one he'd shucked off his trousers.  Standing naked in front of Jared, Jensen reached out for him and pulled him close to taste Jared's nipples.

Jared groaned and cupped the back of Jensen's head, stroking through the silky strands of hair.  "Oh.  You remember what I taught you so well.  You are a perfect lover."  He shut his eyes and enjoyed the sensations, thinking of where he wanted to lead this second intimate encounter.

Groaning, Jensen nibbled at Jared's right nipple before laving it with his tongue and then sliding his mouth across to the left one.  He closed his eyes and massaged his hands into Jared's side while teasing and tasting Jared's skin.

Jared fell back on the bed and pulled Jensen on top of him.  "I thought today, I might teach you the joy of sucking your partner.  You definitely have the mouth for it."  He rubbed a thumb over Jensen's lips.

Jensen laughed when they bounced on the bed, flicking his tongue to taste the skin of Jared's tongue.  He looked at his friend through his eyelashes and grinned in a wholly seductive way he didn't even know he was doing.  "Sucking your partner?  But I have, haven't I?  I've been sucking on your nipples, your neck."

"And doing a most satisfactory job, too," Jared purred, smiling back to match Jensen.  "So well that you are ready to move on to something a little more difficult."  He reached down and squeezed Jensen's erection, stroking it slow and easy.

"Ngh," Jensen grunted slightly at the pleasure and then his brain tripped and caught up to what Jared was suggesting.  He leaned back, eyes huge and wide, when he looked at Jared.  "You want me to suck you?" he asked, curling his hand around Jared's thick cock.

Jared moaned and thrust a little into the teasing hand and then smiled at Jensen.  "Indeed.  If you wish to.  But first, I will suck you and show you a few things."  He pressed a soft kiss to Jensen's nose.  "The first time I did this for you, I was not very slow, nor did I exhibit good technique."

Jensen huffed a soft laugh at Jared's kiss to his nose and then nodded, trying not to cross his eyes in an effort to focus on Jared's face.  "I definitely wish to learn ways to pleasure you, Jared.  I want to make you feel good."

"You already do," Jared assured and then rolled him on his back.  Pushing himself up, he stroked gentle fingers down Jensen's chest and said, "The first thing you must remember is that to be good at this, you must yourself be relaxed.  Many people find they are never truly comfortable giving this kind of pleasure, and there is no shame in this.  Your first few times will always make you nervous, so distract yourself with your lover's body, touching and caressing places that make you both feel good."

"Yes, Jared."  Jensen writhed against the sheets, his body arching into the delicate and arousing touches that Jared lavished on him.  He was never going to be as accomplished a lover as Jared, and it caused Jensen a few twinges of sadness that Jared had experienced all of this with other people, while he was so inexperienced.

"When you first encounter your lover's organ, you may find it intimidating.  Don't try and swallow it all down at once.  Try pressing little kisses and licks along the length and familiarizing yourself with the feel and taste."  Jared bent and demonstrated, licking every inch and pressing kisses here and there.

Jensen moaned, hips twitching while he attempted to keep still and concentrate on Jared's words.  It was difficult to combine the two and really understand what he was being told.  Much like the first time, Jensen's brain was sliding away on a sea of more, so good and guh.

Jared pressed a kiss to the very tip and lapped away the moisture there.  "Are you listening to me, my Jen?" he asked, teasing.

"Kiss," Jensen breathed out, shuddering.  "Lick."  He repeated what he remembered Jared saying, hands twisting in Jared's hair as he cried out from Jared's tongue sliding over the head of his cock.

"Oh, yes," Jared breathed and pressed a sucking kiss to Jensen's thigh, "watch out for your head and hair."  He chuckled and swallowed the head of Jensen's cock, sucking hard.

"Oh god," Jensen dropped his head back and arched hard into Jared's mouth.  He tangled his fingers in Jared's hair and moaned.

Jared grinned and lifted his head.  "Just try sucking the head to begin, like I was doing.  A little at a time will make it easier on you, and I'll enjoy it just the same."

Jensen breathed in a huge breath when Jared released him.  He lifted his head to look down at Jared and nodded.  "God...  the- the head."

Jared laughed and said, "And then you take in as much as you feel comfortable handling."  He suited words to action and slowly slid his head down, surrounding Jensen's erection with his mouth.  He sucked, licked, hummed, and demonstrated other tricks as he went.

Beyond capacity to understand what Jared was saying, Jensen closed his eyes and shuddered under his lover.  He moaned and groaned, writhing and stretching on the bed while he tried not to come.

Jared slid all the way to the bottom and sucked hard, before pulling up all the way.  "Be careful with teeth," he advised.  He leaned down and began to work on the sack containing Jensen's balls, sucking it into his mouth and nibbling on the tender flesh.

Jensen cried out when Jared sucked hard and arched off the bed. "Please, Jay! Please!"

Jared moved back over Jensen's cock and said, "And when you really feel confident, you can let your lover thrust into your mouth." He slid his mouth all the way down and let Jensen slip into his throat, before gripping his hips and tugging on him.

"Oh," Jensen moaned, hips moving with Jared's grasp and then rocking of their own accord when Jared didn't stop him. He gripped Jared's hair and tipped his head back, while rocking himself so that his cock slid in and out of Jared's mouth and pressed easily against the back of his throat.

Jared allowed Jensen to take his pleasure for a few moments, before using his strength to push him off. He released Jensen's cock with a slick noise and then said, "Sometimes, you can use your hands to do other things, too. There is this little piece of skin, right behind here-" he slid a finger behind Jensen's sack "-which will drive your lover crazy." He rubbed the area and then went back to sucking on the head of Jensen's cock at the same time.

No longer coherent, Jensen arched toward Jared when his lover pulled away, a soft keening sound escaping. "Oh Jared. Oh god!" he cried out, coming in an unexpected burst of pleasure that ripped through his cock.

Jared swallowed everything in long gulps, finally releasing the softening organ and pulling away. He sat beside Jensen's legs and stroked his belly and hips with tender fingers. "And of course, some people will swallow their lover's release, while others prefer to let it hit them in the face or chest."

"What?" Jensen asked, rolling his head on the pillow, eyes slit with lassitude. He reached out and gently stroked Jared's cheek. "You are unbelievably amazing, Jared."

Jared turned to press kisses to Jensen's fingers. "Your compliment is most gratifying, but amazing is perhaps too strong a word." He moved over Jensen and kissed him, cock rubbing lightly against the skin of Jensen's belly.

Jensen held Jared to him with a strong grip and returned the kiss. He was still blown away by the way Jared treated him, regardless of Jared's demure. Finally, needing to breathe, Jensen pulled from Jared's mouth with a soft gasp. "I want to try, Jared. Want to give you pleasure."

"You are sure?" Jared asked, trailing kisses over Jensen's face and neck. "There is no need to rush into this." He pressed himself against Jensen's stomach, rutting a little.

"No, Jared, I want to try." Jensen looked down, shyness overcoming him again. "I do not know if I shall be any good or be able to offer you any pleasure, but I want to try."

Jared moved to lay on his back, propping himself up a bit on the headboard. "My delightful Jensen, I shall find pleasure merely because it is you." He encouraged Jensen to his knees and kissed him again. "Just remember to relax."

Relax. Right. Jensen kissed Jared, smiled and then slid down the bed. He stayed on his knees for a moment until he realized that he was never going to be comfortable so Jensen splayed himself on the bed between Jared's legs. Touching Jared's thighs lightly, Jensen bent down and kissed from one hand to the other, going up and over Jared's stomach before he turned his head and pressed a light kiss at the base of Jared's cock.

Jared watched Jensen through half-slit eyes, amused and aroused by his lover's shyness. He moaned softly at the first tentative caress and then rubbed his fingers over Jensen's face, neck and sides encouragingly. "Yes, Jen, that's right. Just take your time."

Jensen kissed his way up to the head of Jared's cock. He flicked his tongue out and tasted the bead of moisture gathered on the tip. It was salty and warm, something he wanted to remember. Jensen mapped every inch of Jared's cock with gentle kisses and quick flicks of his tongue.

Jared let out a series of deep, throaty moans and soft words of encouragement, wanting Jensen to continue exploring. He kept his hands from gripping or forcing, petting Jensen instead to soothe and calm him. "Doing so well."

Jensen sucked the tip of Jared's cock into his mouth and closed his eyes to suckle gently. He flicked his tongue around it as best he could, not entirely sure he was doing it right or making Jared feel anything good. When he pushed down further, Jensen took it slow and then made an effort to try and get more of Jared inside him, but misjudged and ended up pulling up and off, coughing.

Jared instantly pulled Jensen up into his chest, stroking his hair. "Easy there, Jen. That happens a lot your first few times. Nothing to be upset about. You were doing so well 'til then." He spoke in a low, honeyed tone.

Sighing, Jensen buried his face in Jared's chest for a moment. "I'm sorry, Jared." He rubbed his cheek against Jared's muscles before he turned his head to flick his tongue over Jared's nipple- one place he knew he could evoke a good response.

Jared rumbled his approval and let Jensen attack his nipple for a moment, before pulling him up. "No apologies necessary," he said. "You are doing fine, Jen. Nobody is perfect on their first attempt." He kissed his pouty lips and then pulled him closer for a deeper, claiming kiss.

Jensen reveled in the praise and sank into Jared's kiss for a moment. He let himself get lost for a brief time and then pulled back with another shy smile. "I want to try again, Jared." Pushing himself down Jared's body, Jensen reached out with one hand and curled it around Jared's cock to stroke slowly up and down while he licked his lips.

"Mmm, that is another good trick," Jared said. "Use your hand to help you handle what you cannot do with your mouth. My clever Jensen." He thrust lightly into the firm hand.

Humming softly, Jensen wrapped his lips around Jared's cock. He sucked and licked, flicking his tongue under the head and then through the slit on top. Jensen was slightly gun-shy about going much further, but slowly relaxed and let his mouth sink lower and lower down Jared while he stroked with his hand as well.

Jared sighed in pleasure as Jensen took in more of his erection. He felt a thrill of satisfaction for having chosen a lover who wanted so badly to prove himself, to give him pleasure. Reaching down, he rubbed through Jensen's hair affectionately. "God, my Jen, how quickly you pick up what to do. How good you are at pleasing me. You look so beautiful, nude and between my legs, servicing me so eagerly."

Jensen shuddered at Jared's words, the praise urging to him to do more, to try more. He stroked his hand a bit faster and harder, trying to suck Jared with the same amount of pressure.

Jared could hold off his release indefinitely, but wanted to reward Jensen for working so hard and doing so well. He tugged on his head and pulled him away. "Watch for signs your lover is going to release," he said, breathing hard for effect, "so you are not caught unawares." He smiled at Jensen. "You are making me lose control."

Flushing at the thought that he was actually giving Jared great pleasure, Jensen nodded and bit his lower lip. "I- I want to taste you, Jared. Will you let me?" He lowered his gaze and then looked back at Jared hopefully, thumbs rocking back and forth on the soft skin of Jared's hips.

"I would not deny you or myself such great pleasure. But please, do not hesitate to pull back if it becomes too much. There is nothing that would ruin a moment more than my causing you any harm, my Jen." Jared thumbed over Jensen's cheek and then eased his hold, letting him know he was free to do as he pleased.

Jensen nodded and then flicked his tongue through the slit at the head of Jared's cock, eyes locked on Jared's while he did so. He moaned softly at the taste and then closed his eyes and slid his mouth around the head to suck steadily and firmly before he began to slide his head up and down as far as he comfortably could.

Impressed by Jensen's aptitude after such a short time, Jared forced his hips to keep still and collapsed back against the pillows. He breathed out long and hard, letting himself rush to orgasm. "Now, Jen. Now." He jerked up slightly as he released into Jensen's mouth.

Even though Jared warned him, Jensen was unprepared for the flood of release when Jared came into his mouth. He swallowed what he could, coughing only slightly as some of it escaped at the corner of his mouth. Jensen licked his lips, tasting Jared and trying to figure out if he liked the taste or not.

"Are you all right?" Jared asked, the wash of concern pushing aside his pleasure. He sat up to wipe the trace of fluid from Jensen's mouth.

"Yes," Jensen answered shyly, flicking his tongue over his lip to clean up the residual stickiness. "I don't know that I've ever been better, Jared."

Jared laughed, grabbed Jensen and pulled him into a wild kiss. His hands mapped the curves and planes of his body, before settling on his ass. He squeezed the firm mounds there, playing with them expertly. "Good. That is the response I seek from my lovers."

Jensen frowned briefly at the thought of Jared with other lovers, but changed it to a smile and then a kiss to show his desire and appreciation. "You always make me feel good, Jared. Since the first night I met you."

Jared noticed the frown and rubbed Jensen's back, amused by the response. He squeezed Jensen's ass in his big hands and said, "I am glad, Jen. That was my intention from the first."

"How did I ever become so lucky as to meet you? I cannot imagine my life without you in it, Jared." Jensen curled up around Jared's side, hand tracing light patterns over Jared's chest while he closed his eyes and settled in comfortably.

Jared nuzzled Jensen's hair and pressed a kiss there. "You would have done well without me, Jen. All you needed was a little more confidence in yourself. And that you are developing everyday. Your sister will be so proud when she sees you next."

Jensen smiled. "Do you think so? I shall be thrilled to see her and see how her husband hunt is going." He grinned and wriggled closer to Jared.

Jared tilted up Jensen's head and kissed him softly. "Do you really want her to be married?"

"No," Jensen confessed. "I have always wanted her to stay at home with me, live in the country. But that is not fair for her and not a life she wants to lead."

"Tis always hard to see your siblings grow up and apart from you. Not that mine have ever been close to me." Jared slowly traced down the knobs of Jensen's spine to the curve of his ass.

"Josh leaving was easy to deal with. We were never all that close. Mackenzie, however, has been my closest friend until you." Jensen grinned and arched into Jared's touch.

"Will you tell her about us?" Jared asked.

Jensen blushed and dipped his head. "If you do not mind. I share all things of my life with Mackenzie."

Jared asked, "Are you sure that she will accept the idea of us being lovers? Many people do not."

"I am certain and would not tell her if I thought she would not accept it." Jensen smiled fondly. "Mackenzie has always supported me before."

"Well, I hope you are right in your judgment of her," Jared said. "She is dear to you, I know. I would not want to come between you."

Jensen smiled. "Nor would I want anything to come between us, nor you and me. Your friendship is dear to me."

Jared swallowed and nodded once. "I am glad to hear you say so, my Jen." He kissed Jensen slowly and then cradled him closer. "We still have not eaten."

Chuckling, Jensen shook his head. "No, we have not." His stomach rumbled in that moment. "And I do believe that my body would like to rectify that even though I want nothing more than to be in your arms."

"We can have both, you know.  The hotel will bring food to our suite, should I request some.  We may lie in each other's arms and feed each other morsels.  What do you say?"  Jared grinned and arched an eyebrow.

Jensen beamed at the idea.  "Another one of your fantastic ideas.  I should be delighted to share dinner in bed with you."  He shivered at the thought.

Jared noticed the shiver and tucked the blankets around Jensen.  He kissed him softly and asked, "What shall I get for us?"

"What is easy to eat with our fingers?"  Jensen snuggled against Jared.  "We could always go with the standard, cheese, meat and bread."

"And some wine?" Jared asked.  "A fine French vintage, perhaps?"  He traced Jensen's cheek and neck with long fingers, caressing the soft skin.

Jensen nodded, eyes closing while he tilted his head.  "Yes, anything you like.  Your choices are excellent."

Jared dropped kisses on Jensen's neck and bit a little into the warm flesh.  "You allow me to take care of everything."  He reached beneath the covers to run his hand over Jensen's lower belly.

Arching into Jared's touch, Jensen shuddered out a breath.  "You know so much more than I do about worldly things."

"You have not lived all these years without learning some things, Jen," Jared whispered, stroking skin with assurance.  "Is there nothing you have heard about you wish to try?"

"I have done most of my living through books and such.  But if I had to choose another place to visit, it would be Italy... Rome, Firenze, Venice."

"We can go there next, if you want," Jared said, pressing soft kisses over Jensen's eyelids and forehead.  "I would be honored to show you these places."

Jensen blinked, opening his eyes wide and then turning to look at Jared.  "You mean when we are done here?  Instead of going back to London?"

"If you wanted," Jared said, "T'was you who wished to make this a short trip and return to London as soon as we finished in Paris.  I asked for much more time with you."

Opening his mouth to dispute that, Jensen flushed and nodded his head.  "You are correct."  He leaned in and kissed Jared.  "I should like to send word to Mackenzie and see where she is in the courting process.  If she is close to wedding, then I should prefer to return to London before setting off for Italy."

"You think she would not send word to us if she were soon to wed?" Jared asked, propping himself on his side next to Jensen.  "I think we would have heard her joyful cries all the way from London."

"That is likely, is it not?"  Jensen reached his hand up and cupped Jared's face.  "A compromise then.  We shall send word to her of where we are headed and ask her to contact us if and when she comes ready to read the banns."

"Don't you want to meet the man in question before that happens?"  Jared smiled at Jensen and tickled his sides.  "I would think you want to appraise him before she makes any decisions."

"If I get home before the wedding, I can stop it."  Jensen laughed.  "I do trust Mackenzie to make a decision and know she would encourage me to travel with you."  He wriggled away from Jared's fingers, but pulled him in for a kiss.

Jared cradled Jensen and kissed him back.  "Then I shall make plans to take you to Rome, my lovely Jen.  I shall make love to you all over Europe, indeed, before we are through."

Jensen stared at Jared, eyes wide at the thought.  "That is an offer I can hardly refuse."  He grinned and tugged Jared down for a thorough kiss.

Jared laughed into the kiss and said, "Even in public," before kissing Jensen deeper.  He pulled back with a sigh, climbed out of bed and began to pull on some of his more casual clothes.  "And now to order dinner without scandalizing the other patrons of the hotel."

Laughing, Jensen stretched on the bed.  "I shall await you here, making myself ready for your every want."  He tossed the covers off and stroked his hands playfully over his chest and stomach.

Jared growled, low and deep, and said, "You really do not mean those words, Jensen, but I appreciate them anyway."  He leaned over and licked a stripe up Jensen's stomach to his mouth.

Jensen kissed Jared deeply when their mouths met and brought his hands up to hold Jared close.  When they finally broke apart, Jensen held Jared's face between his hands.  "I do mean them, Jared.  With everything I am, I want to be yours."

Jared kissed Jensen again.  "While we are together, we shall be each others.  And now, I shall fetch dinner."  He stood and headed for the door, looking back at Jensen, spread out over the bed, once before leaving.

Frowning again, Jensen ended up pulling the covers over his body.  He did not like the way Jared's words left doubt as their being together for... well, forever.  Jensen realized in those moments that they'd never talked about it, and he was running on blind assumptions regarding Jared and their relationship.  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jared led Jensen through the streets of Rome, gesturing to the magnificent sights and keeping up his normal line of enthusiastic patter, but inside, he steamed.  Something had changed between then, driving Jensen away from him, making him less open and trusting.  They had not shared a bed since their last night in Paris, and Jared did not understand.  By now, he expected Jensen to be all over him, hungry for everything Jared could teach him and begging for his affections.  Instead, Jensen returned to being interested and friendly, but nothing more.  After wasting several days, Jared felt ready to ship Jensen back to Rome and find another companion.  But he hated defeat, especially without knowing the cause.  If he could at least determine that, he would not feel his time had been in vain, merely another useful, if painful, learning experience.  He stopped in front of yet another church and sighed.  "I feel as if I have reached the end of what I can teach you, Jensen.  You are a much different man than the one I met.  More capable now of forging your own path in the world and standing proud in all situations."

Jensen looked sharply at Jared.  He frowned at the thought and shook his head.  "I do not know what it is you see for I fear I am much the same man as I was that night in London."  He shrugged and turned his contemplation back to the church in front of them.  While Rome had been gorgeous so far, there have been no more fun relaxed nights like those in Paris... no intimacies and a widening gap in their friendship.  Jensen knew that much like the few friends he'd managed to make in life, Jared was slipping away.  He was no longer interested in spending time with Jensen.  "Is there excitement to be had in this city, Jared?"

"Excitement?  Is that what you crave?" Jared asked.  He stepped closer to Jensen, reached out and traced his arm gently.  "The simple pleasure of being with me is no longer enough for you?"

Jensen smiled at Jared, sad with the continued misunderstandings between them.  "That is not it at all, Jared."  He reached out and took Jared's hand in his, twining their fingers together.  "I enjoy all of the time we have together.  But we had such fun the night you took me out in Paris, and I thought it would be interesting if Rome had a similar place."

"Indeed, even though it is a devout city, Rome does have its share of places where one may find such enjoyments," Jared said, turning his hand to knit his fingers more snugly with Jensen's.  He snuck a quick look around the quiet street and then kissed Jensen softly.

Sighing into Jared's kiss, Jensen pressed harder against Jared's lips.  He ached for the closeness they'd shared and had lost.  Jensen had noticed that Jared was pulling back to match his own reluctance and didn't know how to make their relationship work.

Jared gave up all pretense of caution, threw his arms around Jensen and pulled him close for the duration of the kiss.  "Jen," he whispered, when they parted.  "Jen, tell me what I have done to offend thee, why you have been so distant with me these days."

Jensen wrapped himself tight around Jared and buried his nose in his lover's throat.  "There was no offense, Jared. I think we just stopped connecting with each other for a few days."  He pressed a soft kiss under Jared's jaw.

"I did not like it," Jared said, voice tight.  "You were no longer my Jensen, and I did not know what I had done or how to correct my mistake."  He rested his cheek in Jensen's hair.

"And I did not know how to get back our ease in dealing with each other."  Jensen sighed and closed his eyes, wrapping himself tight around Jared's body.  "I have missed you."

Jared breathed out in relief and kissed the top of Jensen's hair.  "Obviously, we both have much work to do in the realm of communication," he said.  "Perhaps now we can enjoy our time in Italy a bit more than we have been."  He pulled back enough to smile at Jensen.

Jensen met Jared's smile with his own beaming one and nodded.  "I would dearly love that, Jared."  He leaned in and kissed Jared again, hands tightening on Jared's back.

Jared cupped Jensen's face in his big hands and kissed him tenderly, delighted to have found their footing again.  "Perhaps we should start all over.  Go right back to the first sights and see them all over again."

"It certainly cannot hurt.  I do not think I saw much over the past few days."  Jensen smiled ruefully and tipped his head into Jared's hand.

Jared trailed his mouth over the exposed side of Jensen's face and then pressed a long kiss to his pulse point, feeling the strong heartbeat beneath his lips.  "Or shall we find some quiet corner and enjoy this closeness we have regained?"

Jensen breathed out, closed his eyes and melted against Jared.  He'd missed and craved their closeness and Jared's touch upon him.  "I just want to be with you, whatever you would like to do, Jared."

Jared nodded and said, "Tis nearly time for our midday repast, and I know a quiet cafe, where we may have a corner booth and feed each other morsels, as we did in Paris.  I will sit next to you and kiss you whenever the feeling strikes me.  How does that sound?"

"Like perfection."  Jensen hugged Jared tighter, leaning in and slightly up for another deep kiss.

Jared lingered over the kiss and then took Jensen's hand to lead him quickly through the narrow, winding streets.  He obviously knew his way and soon, they came upon a tiny cafe tucked away in an ancient building.  Pulling Jensen into a doorway just before the cafe, Jared kissed him again and then covered his face with fast, tiny kisses.

Laughing with the romance and delight of the day, Jensen closed his eyes and held on to Jared.  "God, you make me want so many things, Jared.  I want to know everything about all things with you next to me."

"Good," Jared breathed, catching Jensen's lips for a long, drugging kiss.  "Hold on to that feeling, Jen.  Keep it safe and warm next to you."

"I will.  Now, shall we feed each other?"  Jensen grinned wickedly at Jared, wanting to get them both to open back up again and to be intimate with each other in a way that he'd been missing.

Jared laughed in delight at the expression and walked backward toward the cafe, pulling Jensen with him.  "Indeed.  Everything on their menu, we shall try."  
~~~~~~~~~~


	6. Loving Jensen

Jared looked across the small bedroom, where Jensen lay in their bed, waiting for him and reading a book on Roman History, and realized he loved him.  He blinked a few times, but the feeling and the idea remained- he loved Jensen.  He wobbled a few steps to the nearest armchair and sank into the cushions, panic swimming in his stomach.  How could he have let this happen?  How could he not have noticed?  All the signs were there, in glaring clarity, if only he had taken the time to look.  But he had ignored them, pursuing his own ends without noticing that life (and his heart) had a few ideas of its own.  Putting a hand over his chest, which seemed to swell beneath his fist, he tried to remember how to breathe.

Jensen scanned the pages of his book, glasses perched on his nose and hair a rumpled mess.  He was comfortable in the bed, in their Roman romance, but was looking forward to pressing out into the countryside.  Since he'd allowed himself to relax again, to accept Jared's affection on Jared's terms, Jensen could not have enjoyed their time together any more than he did.  Lifting his head, he saw Jared sitting in a chair, hand to his chest.  "Jared?" he asked, tipping the glasses down his nose.  "What are you doing over there?  Come back to bed."

Jensen's rumpled appearance made Jared smile, even as his blood ran hot.  He stood and prowled over to the bed, eyes hungry and warm.  He hovered above Jensen for a moment, before removing the book and setting it out of the way.  He tugged the covers off and pressed Jensen back, so he could look his fill.

Chuckling, Jensen went with Jared's motions, settling back on his pillow and stretching slightly.  He was slowly getting used to Jared looking at him, wanting to see and touch him.  Jensen curled one arm above his head on the pillow and reached the other out to Jared.  "Come join me."

Jared caught Jensen's hand and bent to kiss the fingers and then lave the palm.  He began to kiss down the strong arm, scooting forward to place on knee on the bed.  Pausing at the inside of Jensen's bicep, he bit down a little.  
   
Jensen moaned, gaze locked on Jared.  He grabbed at the headboard on their bed, trying his best to not interrupt his lover's seduction.  
Jared continued his progression down Jensen's arm and then moved to his shoulder.  He wanted to kiss and claim every inch of Jensen, knowing nobody except himself had been there or would ever be there again.  The thought only made his blood heat more, until he found himself sucking a mark of claim on Jensen's collarbone.  "Mine," he whispered into the heated skin.  
   
Arching into the sharp sting of Jared's mark, Jensen cried out low and then tangled his free hand in Jared's hair.  The possessive claim left Jensen tingling and unsteady.  Jared never said such things to him, never before indicated that he wanted such a claim.

Jared worked his way up Jensen's neck, fitting his mouth over the part of his neck right under his cheek and worrying at the flesh.  He wanted to leave another mark, one people could see, but knew his shy Jensen would not want that kind of attention.  Still, he pretended to draw up a mark there and then wandered up to suck on Jensen's left earlobe.  
   
Jensen shuddered, rocking against Jared's body with a soft moan.  "God, Jared, so good."  He could feel a difference in Jared's touch, a mastery that had not been present before.  "You are so intent tonight... love how you make me feel."

"I will work to always make you feel this way, my Jensen," Jared promised, putting extra emphasis on the word 'my.'  He pressed a hand to Jensen's chest to keep him from moving too much.  "I want to kiss every inch of your skin, make love to you until you are helpless from it.  Shall I tie you down to keep you still?"  
   
Blinking up at Jared, Jensen couldn't help but shudder at Jared's words.  He wriggled slightly and then captured Jared's lips with his own.  "If you truly wish me to be still then I feel you must."

Jared kissed back, sweeping his tongue deep inside Jensen's mouth to explore every part.  When he pulled out to pant for breath, he went right back to kissing Jensen's face and neck.  "Do you wish to be still?" he breathed over his nape, before pinching a nipple with roaming fingers.  
   
"Can I say that I don't know?"  Jensen smiled at Jared, arching into his lover's touch.  "I have never thought of such a thing... have you done this before?"

"No," Jared said, thinking of how much he loved Jensen.  "I have never done this before."  He trailed his mouth down Jensen's chest and licked his right nipple, pulling the little nub into a peak so he could more easily nibble and then settle down to suckle.

Jensen grinned to himself.  Something Jared had not done before.  "Do you want me to keep still?" he asked, slightly breathless at the idea of having a first with Jared.

Jared lifted his head at the breathless question and smiled at Jensen.  He kissed his swollen lips gently and then more firmly.  "Just give me your permission to do what I wish to your body, and I am satisfied.  Please."

"Yes, Jared.  Anything you wish.  Always."  Jensen couldn't give himself any more to Jared than he already had.  He just didn't know how to tell Jared without worry that Jared would leave.

Jared kissed him again, sweeping a hand down his body and stroking his cock a few times, slow and easy.  "A taste of what I plan for you," he whispered.  He delved back to kiss and suck his way over Jensen's chest, settling at the left nipple.

Jensen tangled his hands in Jared's hair, loose enough that his lover could move with ease, but tight enough that he could let Jared know when something particularly pleased him.  Though his nipples were not quite as sensitive as Jared's, Jensen still jolted from the pleasure.

Jared lingered for a while, but then moved on.  He tilted his head so he could cover the skin of Jensen's sides, a place he seldom explored so avidly on any lover.  Searching out an unusual pleasure or tickle spots, he made every bit of skin gleam from his attentions.  
   
"You are teasing me, Jared."  Jensen moaned softly, laughing low when Jared hit a particularly ticklish spot.

Jared lifted his head and stroked Jensen's body with long sweeps of his hands.  "Is this a bad thing?" he asked, tenderness in his voice.  "I want to know every inch of you.  All the mysteries of your body."  
   
Jensen moaned.  "Never a bad thing."  Jensen shivered again and then wrapped himself around Jared, arching up and into his touches with abandon.

Jared smiled again and gently hushed Jensen, easing him back to the bed.  He bent his head and nibbled over his abdomen, leaving slick marks over the skin.  His tongue dipped into his navel, sampling the strange flavor.  Sliding further down, he nuzzled the wiry hairs of Jensen's groin and then sucked a few times on the head of Jensen's cock.  
   
"You are going to kill me, my Jared."  Jensen writhed under him, restless and wanting more.

"Death by pleasure," Jared purred, moving away from Jensen's erection and biting down on his inner thighs.  He nuzzled Jensen's sack and sucked the flesh, before heading back to both legs.  His fingers tailed down the long, muscular limbs, followed by his mouth.  He even sucked on all ten of Jensen's toes, getting to know each one personally.

Jensen groaned at the detailed attention his body received from Jared.  He dropped his hands to the bed when Jared moved out of touching range, arching slightly from the pleasure of being touched.  "Please, Jared."

"Roll over," Jared whispered, sitting up and grabbing a pillow to cradle Jensen's hips and leaking cock.  "Want you, Jen."  
   
Obeying Jared's command, Jensen rolled to his stomach and lifted his body for Jared to place the cushion.  "Anything you want, my Jared."

Jared slipped the pillow under Jensen's hips, reaching under to adjust his erection to rest comfortably.  He draped himself over Jensen’s back, pressing as much of their skin together as possible.  "Drunk on you, Jen," he whispered, biting down firmly on the back of his neck.

Jensen's head tilted back when he gasped.  Jared's bite made him throb, from neck to cock and everywhere between.  This more primal side of Jared was new and highly intoxicating, with Jensen anticipating every sensation.

Jared nibbled down the knobs of Jensen's spine and then mapped his back with kisses.  His hands trailed up and down after him, massaging and soothing.  He ignored his own erection, even as he occasionally leaked or rubbed his own pre-come over Jensen's heated skin.  "Love this, Jen.  Love taking my time with you."  
   
"Love it too, Jared.  It feels so good to have you touching every part of me."  Jensen felt heady with the attention Jared paid to his body.  The touches and kisses almost felt like Jared was committing him to memory, and Jensen pushed a ball of worry away to enjoy the attention.

Jared reached Jensen's perfect butt and rubbed his cheeks along each side.  He bit the round ends and then spread Jensen wide to look at the small entrance to his body.  Leaning closer, he blew warm air over the muscle, watching it react.  
   
"Oh god!"  Jensen arched his back, ass pushing back toward Jared while he grappled at the bed.  "Jared!" he cried out, trying to breathe easier and relax into the bed.

"Shh," Jared whispered and pressed a kiss to the inside of each cheek.  He licked the sides and then swirled deeper, finally moving over the musky ring.  With a slight wiggle, he worked the very tip inside.

Burying his face in the pillow to keep his cries muffled, Jensen trembled under Jared's hands.  He tugged at the sheets, nearly pulling them from the bed while Jared teased him in ways he'd never imagined.

Jared lifted his head and asked softly, "Do you like that, Jen?  Do you want more?"

Jensen moaned into the pillow, nodding for a moment before he gasped out a quiet, “Yes, please.”

Chuckling, Jared ducked his head to slide his tongue over the hole again.  He pushed at the sides with little wiggles and then worked back inside, stabbing deep.  His hands tugged Jensen further open, so he had more room to work on Jensen.

Turning his head back into the bed, Jensen bit the pillow and moaned into it.  He trembled, wanting to arch and push against Jared, but doing his best to remain still as Jared wanted him to be. 

Jared slid his tongue in and out of Jensen's ass quickly, mimicking what he hoped to do to Jensen soon with his cock.  He finally pulled out reluctantly and leaned up to whisper in Jensen's ear, "There is more we can do down there, my Jen.  Shall I show you?"

"More?" Jensen whimpered, turning his gaze to Jared's.  He was flushed and wide-eyed, panting softly.  "I cannot believe the things you can show me."

"Shall I help you finish first?" Jared said, concerned that Jensen's arousal may be veering into painful.  "I do not wish you to suffer."

Jensen shook his head.  "Not yet, my Jared.  I want to feel all of the things you have to show me."

Jared kissed the back of Jensen's head and then slid off the bed.  "Be still, my Jen.  I shall return."  He went to his luggage and fished out a vial of special oil.  Returning to the bed, he popped the cork and gently poured some of the slickness into the crack of Jensen's ass.

Sinking into the comfort of the mattress beneath him, Jensen consciously relaxed every muscle in his body until he could breathe deep and normally again.  The edge fading away allowed him to track Jared across the room and back, only to be shocked and aroused once again when the chilly wetness slid between his cheeks.

"Relax for me, my Jen," Jared said and then swirled his finger through the slick and slid the tip into the tight ring of muscle.  He tugged and worked at the edges, trying to help him loosen up.

Jensen alternated between relaxing and tensing up while Jared worked on him.  He tried to concentrate on his breathing, to let the worry fade but it was harder than it seemed and the feeling of Jared's finger inside his body was such an odd sensation that Jensen had trouble concentrating on much else.

Jared removed his finger and slicked up several with oil.  Reaching under Jensen, he found his erection and began to stroke him in a slow, almost mesmerizing motion.  "So good, Jen.  So good for me."

Jensen whimpered, hips rocking into Jared's touch.  He wanted more, needed more. "Please, Jared."

Jared moved so his cock slid into the slick between Jensen's cheeks.  He started to thrust slow and easy, timing hips with hand.  "How does that feel, Jen?" 

"Good, so good."  Jensen pushed back slightly, bracing himself on the bed so that he could match Jared's languid rhythm.

Jared dropped his head to mouth, kiss and bite at Jensen's nape.  "Someday, we'll try this with me inside you," he whispered.  "But I'll have you inside me first, so you can see how it works, that it feels good."

"Does it feel good, Jared?"  Jensen smiled over his shoulder, shy and hopeful.

Jared kissed the soft mouth and moaned softly.  "Oh yes, my Jen.  So much.  I cannot wait."  
   
Jensen dropped his gaze and then slowly swept his lashes back up.  "I would like to give you that pleasure, my Jared."

"You will, when you are ready," Jared said, never slowing the movement of his body.  "Do you like this, my Jen?"  He stroked faster, trying to help Jensen finish.

"Oh yes, Jared."  Jensen arched his back so that Jared had better access to his cock.  He buried his face in the pillow again, rocking his hips and holding tight to the bed while Jared pushed his responses faster and harder.

Jared drifted into the heady pleasure of plunging between Jensen's legs and listening to him fall apart beneath him.  He used his strength to lift Jensen further off the bed to truly manipulate his body for maximum effect.  "Come on, Jen.  Let me hear you."

Jensen cried out then, body arching and rocking into Jared's while he fought to stay aware in the rush of pleasure streaking through him.  Jared had never thrust quite like this before, and Jensen lost himself in a whole new range of sensations.

"Imagine what this will be like when you can feel me inside you," Jared purred.  "Stroking so deep into your body, claiming you for mine."  He pushed even harder, head of his cock rubbing over the tight ring of muscle.  
   
"Oh yes, Jared.  Want to feel you, to feel that."  Jensen dropped his head forward again with another loud cry, biting at the pillow to keep from making too much noise.  He didn't want others to hear them, to hear how Jared pleasured him.

"Don't muffle your voice," Jared coaxed.  "Let everyone hear and wish they were you, being so sweetly loved by someone."  He allowed himself to become loud as he drove them both toward climax.

Jensen lifted his head and cried out, letting the pleasure sweep over him.  He did his best to match Jared's rhythm while slowly losing all capacity to do anything more than melt into the sensations.

Jared's hips stuttered when Jensen answered his cries.  He gritted his teeth and tried to hold back, but for the first time since he was very young, his body refused to be slowed.  Jerking and crying out Jensen's name, he spilled between them, still pounding against his lover.  
   
The shock of Jared's orgasm combined with the erratic thrusts sent Jensen over the edge as well, crying out again and shaking under Jared.  Jensen collapsed onto the bed, Jared's weight bearing him down into the mattress and the pillow, a welcome heaviness over his body.

Jared shut his eyes, holding Jensen close and letting himself relearn how to breathe.  Finally, he groaned and rolled to the side, pulling Jensen to lay against his chest.  He rubbed through the mess on Jensen's stomach, nuzzling his hair.  "Nearly killed me that time." 

Jensen chuckled, awash in new feelings and still trying to adjust to the suddenly affectionate Jared.  It wasn't that he was never affectionate to Jensen, but the tone of it seemed to have changed and Jensen couldn't help wondering at it... enjoying every touch, look, and murmured word.  "I surely thought you were going to kill me as well."

Jared chuckled and pressed soft kisses along Jensen's forehead.  "And that was only the beginning of a new side of our intimacy," he murmured.  "We shall need all our strength to enjoy every moment fully."

"I shall need much rest then, if you are going to show me such delights on a nightly basis.  I shan't be able to hold out without rest and sustenance."  Jensen grinned and closed his eyes, curling into Jared's body with a deep sigh.

"Shall I have to trim back our plans for the day, then?" Jared teased, dimples showing.  "I would not wish our sightseeing to wear you down for our nightly activities."  He found a comfortable position on the pillows, so he could cradle Jensen to his chest.  He marveled at the hugeness of the feeling he had for his lover, for how stealthily it had claimed him, body and soul.  And how unworried he was about that which once he had run at the mere hint of from himself or his partners.

"Yes, we may have to trim back our time spent being active during the day."  Jensen smiled wickedly and then snuggled against Jared with a slight yawn.  He thrilled to this new side of Jared and only hoped that upon waking he wasn't disappointed.

"Jensen," Jared said softly, "I shall make sure that you are sufficiently rested for these nights.  For, though I love showing you the places I visited when I toured, I find that my time spent alone with you is far more rewarding to me."  
   
Jensen blushed and then looked up shyly at Jared.  "It is?" 

"So much," Jared affirmed and then chuckled a little.  "You have made me a total fool, Jen, speaking foolish nonsense."  He kissed Jensen's forehead and then settled back more.  "Now, we shall sleep, and I will wake you with kisses."

"That is glorious plan, my Jared."  Jensen yawned, cuddling into Jared's side and pressing a gentle kiss on his throat.  "I truly like the sound of that."

"Then sleep, my Jen, so that it may be reality soon."  Jared turned out the gas lamp and then rested against the pillows with a little smile of self-mockery.  He was in love.  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jensen arranged the dinner he'd ordered up to their room.  He'd never done anything remotely romantic before and hoped that he was doing something Jared would enjoy.  Filling their wine glasses, he looked around the room and then smiled with a quiet sigh.  Jared would not be much longer in his errands, and Jensen knew this would be a surprise.  He bit his lip and then sat on the couch in their sitting room, a book in hand that he was not able to pay any attention to.

Jared trotted up the stairs, carrying an unopened letter for Jensen, which he knew would thrill his lover, and an opened one for him, the contents of which had left him unsettled.  Never before had he cared about his relationship with his family, least of all his father, but now, with his determination to be a better man for Jensen, he wondered what he should do about the latest demand that he come home and mend fences with his estranged kin.  Pushing that aside, he knocked on their chamber door and entered, ready to give Jensen what he suspected to be Mack's wedding announcement.

The table set with his favorite foods, wine glasses glinting above, brought him up short.  He looked at Jensen, perched nervously on the couch and beamed.  "Is this for me, my love?" 

"Do you like it?" Jensen asked, rising to his feet and setting his book aside.  "I thought we ought to celebrate our final night in Rome before heading on to the next city."  He dipped his head and then looked up at Jared.  "I wanted to do something nice for you."  Jensen played with the seam of his left trouser leg, waiting for Jared to say something else.

"I love it," Jared said, catching Jensen around the waist and pulling him into a slow, deep kiss.  "My dear Jen, how sweet you are to me."  He pressed soft kisses along his cheeks and forehead, before kissing his mouth again.  "I have something for you, as well."  He held out Mack's letter.

Jensen melted into Jared's body, breath releasing slowly while he smiled at Jared's affection.  The touches, the gentle kisses had grown in frequency over the week, and Jensen relaxed more and more with each passing day.  "What is this?" he asked, taking the envelope and turning it over in his hand.  When Jensen saw that it was from Mack, he grabbed at Jared's arm and looked at him.  "Do you think?  Could this mean...?"  Jensen tore into the envelope, scanning it quickly and then whooping in laughter.  "Mack has apparently met a young gentleman she would like to marry.  His name is Arthur and he's the eldest son of the Duke of Asherton."  He scanned further, eyebrows settling into a slight frown.  "No, she is marrying him.  In under a month's time.  Jared, I must got home."

Jared nodded and said, "I figured as much, Jen, so I took the liberty of telling the motel to make you reservations on the first boat back to London."  He smiled and stepped forward to caress Jensen's cheek.  "You will wish as much time as possible to ensure that he is the correct man for your sister."  
   
Leaning into Jared's hand, Jensen lifted sad eyes to his friend.  "You made reservations for only me?  Are you not coming home with me?"  He hated that he sounded desperate, but Jensen did not want to leave Jared behind.

Jared looked at the letter in his other hand and said, "My father has written me again, asking that I come home."  He lifted his eyes to Jensen and stroked his cheek gently.  "I have never given much thought to the pain I must have caused my parents by traveling all the time, but your closeness to your sister has made me feel guilty for neglecting my own kin.  My heart is torn, for I wish to go with you, but I think I should go home and make amends with my family."   
   
"Of course you should, my Jared.  I would never dream of being so selfish as to keep you from being with your family."  Jensen tugged Jared in for a soft kiss.  "Perhaps you could return to me in London once you have resolved things with your family.  You could send to me to say you are coming."

Jared pulled Jensen in for a longer kiss and said, "I shall miss you when we are parted...  I have never said that before."  He rested his forehead against Jensen's and sighed.  "The business with my family may take some time, but I wish to be there for Mack's wedding, if you will allow me the honor."  
   
Jensen beamed at Jared.  "It would be an honor to me and my family if you would attend."  He dropped his voice, shy and hesitant.  "I shall miss you also, my Jared.  I have grown quite accustomed to our being together."  Lifting his head, Jensen pressed a brief kiss to Jared's lips.  "Would you, perhaps, make love to me?  Show me what it is to truly feel that?"

Jared caressed Jensen's back in broad sweeps, drinking in the feel and appearance of his lover.  "I shall ache for you, my Jen.  And long for the doubly happy day of Mack's wedding, when I may see you again and watch her wed."  He ducked his head for another, longer kiss.  When he pulled back, he nuzzled Jensen's cheek.  "I, too, long to feel myself deep inside you, my Jen, but we shall only do this if you are truly ready."  He spread a hand over Jensen's ass.  "Your mind and heart may say yes, but your body may still need more time."  
   
"I want this, Jared.  I want to feel you inside me before we must be parted for nearly a month."  Jensen raised up slightly and kissed Jared firmly.  He tried to pour all of his love, want and need into the kiss so that Jared could see how much he needed this.

Jared held on to Jensen and allowed him to lead the kiss for several delicious moments.  Finally, he gently parted their mouths and said, "I will not hurt you, my Jen, but if you are truly ready, I would love nothing more than to be inside you tonight."  He gestured to the table.  "Now, what secret plans do you have for me?"

Jensen flushed, both at the thought of Jared making love to him and of his attempt at romance.  "Nothing secret.  I simply wanted to surprise you with dinner and a celebration of our last night in Rome."

"That sounds like a lovely idea, my Jen.  What exactly did you plan for dinner?"  Jared took his hand and led him toward the table.  
   
"I ordered some carbanara and lasagna, as well as some chicken and wine.  A little bit of all of the things you love."  Jensen smiled shyly again, squeezing Jared's hand in his own.

That Jensen could still be so shy around Jared after all this time squeezed Jared's heart, and he pulled Jensen into a long, deep kiss.  He knew now how much he would have hurt Jensen, if he had left him the way he had his former lovers.  The shy Jensen might never have recovered from having the man he considered his best friend, and his only lover, desert him.  Jared regretted all the other hearts he might have so damaged with his callous ways, even as he swore to protect the man in his arms from all injury.  "You are a most thoughtful lover," he murmured against Jensen's mouth.

Jensen pressed in for another kiss.  "You make me want to be better for you.  I want you to know how much I care for you, how important you are to my life."  He nuzzled at Jared's lips and then pulled back to smile.  "I could not be happier that you saved me from Lady Jessica that night."

"You have never failed to show me how you feel for me, my Jen," Jared assured him.  "Indeed, 'tis I who have often been lacking in showing you affection.  My only excuse is that I have never felt like this for anyone before, so I did not know how to demonstrate my emotions.  I hope I have made up for that lack."

"Never, my Jared?  Truly?"  Jensen tried to not let Jared's prior lovers and experience bother him, but on occasion he worried.

"Truly," Jared said, wishing he could force those three little, terrifying words out of his mouth.  "You are a first in my life.  My one of a kind Jensen."  He kissed him again and then separated reluctantly to sit at the table.  "We must eat before everything cools."

Jensen stared at Jared and then laughed a bit in frustration, rubbing his hand over his face and nodding.  He sat next to Jared at their table and looked down at the selection of food.  "I love you, Jared.  You do know that, right?"

Jared's breath hitched, and he choked a little on his wine, the words hitting him strong, deep and true.  He set down the glass, clattering it a little on the table.  "I love you," he forced out on a gasp of air.  "So much, Jen."

Smiling broadly at Jared again, Jensen reached out and tugged him in close.  "Love you."  He held onto Jared, burying his face in Jared's throat and smiling against his skin.

Jared held Jensen and nestled his chin in Jensen's hair.  "I have never considered before now how this will affect you, my Jen.  I wish you to stay by my side for as long as we both shall live, but I cannot offer you the respectability marriage would. But I love you and would try to make you happy."   
   
"I do not need marriage or respectability in that sense."  Jensen smiled and nestled in closer.  "I would prefer to be with you, my Jared.  We can travel and do whatever we wish.  I shall still need to look after some of the business at the country estate, but it shan't be anything that would keep us from enjoying life together."

Jared shivered a little, as he realized he was planning his life, all of it, in this moment.  He had pledged himself to Jensen and though he knew it was what he wanted, the idea still scared him.  "We shall make it work," he whispered, willing himself to believe more than Jensen.  
   
"Yes, we shall."  Jensen closed his eyes and curled into Jared's embrace, as happy as he'd ever been in his life.  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jensen reclined on the bed, their dinner long over and his desire for Jared climbing with every minute.  "Are you coming to bed any time soon, Jared?" he teased his lover, arching back on the bed and rolling his head to stare at Jared.  "I am lonely here without you."

Jared looked up from the letter he was crafting to his father and laughed a little.  "Dear Jen, are you getting impatient with your Jared?"

"Yes, my Jared, I am impatient for you.  I want you with me as much as we can for the little time we have left here together."  Jensen rolled onto his side, one hand tucked under his cheek.

"Well, that is a deplorable condition I cannot allow to continue."  Jared set down his quill, stood and headed over to the bed.  He stretched out beside Jensen and pulled him in for a gentle, lingering kiss.  "Hello, my Jen."   
   
Jensen hummed and rolled against Jared's body.  He arched and rocked against his lover, leaning up to kiss him with everything he had.  "I shall miss you," he breathed out, pulling back only to smile and then lean in again for another kiss.  "Please give me something more to take with me."

"More than my heart and soul?" Jared asked.  He rubbed Jensen's back and ass, pinching the tender flesh.  "What might that be?"

"I want to know what it means to be loved by you in every way possible, my Jared."  Jensen blushed and ducked his head.  "While I am traveling home, spending time with Mackenzie and her beau... I want to be able to remember being with you in the way of love."

Jared studied Jensen's face for a long moment, before he smiled and nodded.  "All right, my Jen.  We shall attempt to lie as men do tonight."  He kissed him softly and added, "If you are truly ready."  
   
Nodding, Jensen grinned and kissed Jared gently.  "I am more than ready, my Jared.  I want to experience that with you."

Jared swung up enough to pull a small vial of oil out of the bedside table.  "We shall see, my Jen."  He set it on the bed and pushed Jensen on his back, pressing soft kisses all over his face and neck.

Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared and arched into his body.  "I love you, my Jared."

"I love you," Jared replied, finding the words easier to say every time.  "Now, how shall I warm you up for the moment, hmmm?"

"How about you kiss me, Jared?"  Jensen tightened his arms around Jared and held him in close.

You do like being kissed, don't you?" Jared asked, kissing Jensen slow and deep.  He reached down to tug off Jensen's undergarments and stroked his erection with a big, knowing hand.

"Yes, I do... especially for a warm up."  Jensen arched into Jared's hand.  "I love the way you touch me."

"I love touching you, so we do well together," Jared said with a smile.  He released Jensen and stood up to begin removing his own clothes.  He still wore his complete formal outfit, so he had many layers to struggle out of.

Jensen leaned back and scanned Jared's body when each piece of skin was exposed to him.  "You are stunning, my Jared.  Every time I see your body, I want to touch you."

"Well, thank goodness for that," Jared said with a deep laugh.  "I should be most unhappy if you ceased to wish to touch me."

Laughing, Jensen rolled onto his side again, reaching out to touch Jared's stomach.  "I shall never stop wishing to touch you."

Jared removed everything save his undergarments and bounced back on the bed playfully beside Jensen.  He tackled him and rubbed against his body like a big, friendly cat.  "And I shall always be willing to oblige your desires."

"I am glad.  We shall indulge each other until the end of time."  Jensen moved his body against Jared's, arching up and curling around him completely.

Jared spread his hands over Jensen and pulled him close to kiss.  "So we shall, if you allow me to stay with you for so long."

"You shan't be able to leave me, my Jared."  Jensen smiled into the kiss.

Jared pressed his face into the crook of Jensen's neck and kissed his beating pulse.  "Do I have your word on that, my Jen?"

"You have my word, Jared."  Jensen leaned his head on top of Jared's with a soft smile.  "I love you."

"I know," Jared said voice slightly gruff.  He slid his hand around Jensen again and asked, "How do you wish me to pleasure you, my Jen?"

"Inside me."  Jensen grinned impishly, leaning into Jared and then nuzzling at his jaw.

Jared chuckled and kissed the impish smile.  "You are impossible, my Jen."  He traced a finger between Jensen's ass and over the small ring of muscle.

Humming, Jensen pressed into Jared's body and then back against his fingers.  "I just want to know you in all ways tonight, Jared.  I want that to be a growing part of our life together."

Jared reached for the vial, flipping open the lid and spilling a little of the oil on a finger.  "Remember what I taught you about relaxing," he said.  He pressed the tip of the finger against the ring and then slowly inside.

Jensen squirmed slightly on the bed, spreading his legs and looking intently at Jared, while he breathed out slowly.  It was a slightly uncomfortable and full sensation, but Jensen knew that it had to get better.  Jared wouldn't have done this before, wouldn't do it again if it weren't good.  He smiled at Jared, eyes soft with love.

Jared watched Jensen closely for signs of distress, even as he carefully moved his finger in and out of the tight muscle.  "How does that feel, Jen?"

"Unusual, but not bad."  Jensen wriggled again.  "My body wants to push it back out, but the sensations make me want to keep you inside." 

Jared chuckled and kissed Jensen's nose affectionately.  "Well, at least it doesn't seem to bother you."  He tugged at the muscle, trying to loosen it up for more.  "It will get worse before it gets better."

Jensen tilted his head.  "Worse?  In what way?"  He curled his hand around Jared's neck, tugging him in close to brush a kiss over his jaw and then across his lips.

"There will be some pain," Jared said, "especially when I try to enter you for the first time.  Even my fingers won't stretch you enough."  He grinned a little cheekily.  "I'm a fairly well built gentleman."

"Yes you are."  Jensen chuckled, not having much comparison other than his own cock, which wasn't all that much smaller than Jared's.  "I will not mind the pain, for I want the pleasure I know I shall have from being joined with you."

Jared slid his finger in deeper, working slow and careful inside his lover.  "I will not proceed if you are in pain.  I cannot hurt you, Jen."  He nipped down his throat, before sucking a mark near the base of shoulder with neck.  "Something to remember me by."

"Hmmm, yes!" Jensen cried out at the mark, cock twitching and body moving helplessly against Jared's hand.  "Please, Jared.  I need more... want more.  Mark me, fill me up, please!"

"Wow," Jared whispered at Jensen's response and angled his finger in deeper.  He continued to kiss and suck at Jensen's neck and shoulders.  "I will try two now, my Jen."  He removed his finger and slicked more oil, this time over two of them.  Without preamble, he began to work them inside.  
   
Jensen moaned slightly, the added pressure of the second finger taking more relaxing.  He writhed slightly, shifting his body until he could arch his back a bit more.  Breathing out, he lifted his eyes to Jared.  "Will you mark me again, Jared?  I want marks I can look at and touch while we are parted."

"Shh, Jen," Jared said, licking the mark on his neck.  "I'll do whatever you want in terms of marking you."  He kissed him, even as he stroked deeper, twisting and scissoring his fingers to loosen tight muscles.

Kissing Jared back, Jensen stretched his legs slightly, opening to make sure Jared had plenty of room to work him open.  "Need you, Jared." 

Jared felt the desperation and fear in Jensen and stopped his hand, concentrating on kissing Jensen and trying to help him relax again.  "I'm right here, Jen.  I love you."

"I don't want to be separated," Jensen whispered, even while cursing his own clinging.  "Wish I could go with you."

"We both have family matters which need attention, though I hope yours is more pleasant than mine," Jared said in a soft, soothing tone.  He held Jensen closer, pressing soft kisses to his forehead.  "You do not wish to miss Mack's wedding nor a chance to interrogate her potential husband.  And I do not want you to, even if I long to keep you by my side."  
   
Jensen closed his eyes and clung to Jared another moment before he pulled back with a sheepish glance.  "I do not want to miss it, nor do I want you to abandon your plans for your family, my Jared."  He brushed a gentle kiss over Jared's lips.  "I am sorry that I am worried."

Jared stroked Jensen's cheek with his free hand and pressed butterfly kisses over his eyelids.  "I am not afraid, my Jen, but I am sorrowful that we shall have to be parted for any reason."  
   
"I shall miss your presence at my side for every one of those days."  Jensen closed his eyes and sighed softly. "I never thought to feel this way about someone."

Jared carefully moved the fingers inside Jensen again, as he relaxed enough in his arms.  "Nor I, my Jen.  You have opened my heart in a way none before have ever been able to do."  He kissed slowly down Jensen's neck again, biting down a little on the possessive mark.

Gasping at the bite, Jensen arched in Jared's arms, pushing his body onto Jared's fingers.  He moaned, held Jared tight and then rocked his hips to force Jared's fingers to slide deeper inside him.  "Want to show you how much I love you, my Jared."

Jared widened his fingers all the way and worked them around and deep.  "Yes, Jen.  That's good, so good."  Jared slipped his mouth further down and bit down on one of Jensen's nipples, sucking at the small peak.

"Oh!" Jensen cried out, rocking into Jared's touch.  "Feels so good, Jared."  His body was adjusting to the intrusion, and Jensen wanted to feel more, all of Jared.

"You're new to this kind of loving, Jen, so I'm going to use a third finger in you," Jared said softly from his place at Jensen's chest.  "And then I'm going to roll you on your stomach, prop you up with pillows and make sure you really are open."  He kissed Jensen's neglected nipple and then began to suck enough to leave a mark around it.

"Please," Jensen moaned, craving Jared's touch all over his body.

Jared pulled out his hand again and added more oil.  Clutching the fingers together, he very carefully pushed them inside Jensen.  The muscle tightened and kept him immobile for a long moment, before he could work all three in.  "How is that?"  
   
Jensen groaned a slight hint of pain to the sound, but not enough to make him want Jared to stop.  He reached down and trailed his fingers over Jared's wrist.  “Feels okay."  Jensen offered his lover a soft smile, eyes half-lidded while he savored the sensation.

Jared knew the first time with three fingers always hurt, so he moved ever so carefully, not forcing the muscle, but working with it to open slowly.  "We'll get you there, Jen.  Just need to work with your body and not against it."

"Yes, my Jared.  Anything you like."  He breathed out slowly, looking up into Jared's face with a smile.  Jensen was impatient but he knew to trust Jared's abilities and his knowledge.  "Simply want you."

Jared twisted his fingers in even deeper, trying to give himself more room to work inside Jensen.  "You are so lovely, Jen.  We're close now."

"Close?  Oh good, want you so much, Jared."  Jensen tilted his head back and lifted his hips into Jared's hand to push his fingers deeper.

"Careful, Jen," Jared hissed, as he froze in place, not wanting to drive his fingers too deep too fast.  "I want this, but not by hurting you."  He pressed a little kiss to Jensen's temple.

"Jared, please.  I'm not fragile; you're not going to break me.  Please."  Jensen turned his head to kiss Jared's jaw, nuzzling at his cheek.

Turning to kiss Jensen softly, Jared finally nodded.  "Yes, Jen.  All right.  We shall try now."  He removed his fingers again and reached for the pillows to place beneath Jensen's hips.  "Roll on your stomach and prop your hips up here."

Jensen did what Jared asked, rolling himself to his stomach and settling into the pillows.  He spread his legs and wriggled against the stack of pillows and then rested his head on his arms.  "I am ready, my Jared.  Love you, want this so much."

Jared swallowed hard and scooted forward to caress the lovely curve of Jensen's ass.  He dribbled some oil between the cheeks and then pressed his fingers back inside, making sure the passage was as ready as possible.  "Just a little more, Jen."

Arching his back, Jensen pressed himself into Jared's touch.  He knew that Jared knew what he was doing, but Jensen was ready to go out of his mind with frustration. 

Taking a deep breath, Jared removed his fingers and then smoothed oil over his own erection.  He coated himself quickly and then positioned himself over Jensen.  "I need you to relax more than ever, Jen."

"Yes, Jared, I will relax as much as I can for you."  Jensen rocked his hips up when Jared settled against him.  He smiled over his shoulder and tugged another pillow under his head.  "I am ready, my Jared."

Jared attempted to calm himself down enough to do this right.  He wanted Jensen's first time to be perfect, something he wanted to repeat.  Lining himself up, he eased the very head of his cock inside Jensen, pushing slowly to let the muscle open.

Jensen breathed out, body resisting Jared at first and then slowly opening around his lover.  It was definitely both more and less than Jared had said.  It hurt more and was less pleasurable, but Jensen knew he only had to wait for it ease up and become wonderful.  "My Jared," he breathed out.

Jared pressed his hands on either side of Jensen's hips and breathed slowly to keep himself under control, as he slowly eased his way in.  "Are you all right, Jen?"

"Yes, my Jared.  I am well."  Jensen rubbed his face in the pillow and turned to look at Jared again with a tiny smile.

Jared eased in a bit more, feeling Jensen stretch for his erection.  He did not press in as fast as he wished, but forced himself to move with great care.  "Feel so good around me, Jen."

Jensen breathed out and wriggled slightly on the pillows.  "So good, Jared.  Feels good."

"That's my Jen," Jared breathed, leaning over to press kisses all over Jensen's neck and shoulders.  "We're so close now.  Closer to each other than we have ever been before."

"Close," Jensen breathed out.  He turned his head slightly and leaned into Jared's kisses.  The position was not what he would prefer, but he felt that Jared's cock slid in easier than his fingers had.  "Need you."

Jared grunted a little with effort, as he finished easing himself inside Jensen's tightness.  He froze in place, pressed all along his length.  "Oh, God," he groaned, voice deep with almost pained wonder.  "Jen."   
   
Jensen breathed out again, wriggling slightly to try and shift Jared some so that he could spread his legs even further.  "So full, Jared.  God, I never imagined." 

Jared pushed up on his elbows a little so Jensen could move beneath him and get comfortable.  He felt Jensen push back against him and chuckled a little hoarsely.  "Already impatient, my Jen.  Do not worry, I shall move in a moment.  I need time to adjust to being inside you, as well.  I have never felt so connected to someone."  He brushed soft kisses over his neck and bit down a little as Jensen shifted again.   
   
"Oh," Jensen cried out softly at the bite, whole body shuddering under Jared's.  He braced himself and waited for Jared to make the next move.

Jared began a slow, experimental set of shallow thrusts, getting both of them used to his moving inside Jensen.  His body trembled with the effort not to pound into his lover, to claim the man he loved.  "So tight, Jen.  So hot and perfect around me.  Tell me you like this, too.  Tell me what you want."  
   
Jensen pushed back against Jared, trying to match his forward thrusts.  "I am enjoying this, but... I ache, like it's not quite there yet." 

"Well, we must rectify that situation immediately," Jared said and pulled out a bit more, thrusting in deeper.  He kept his hands on Jensen's hips, using them to direct his lover.  Angling his next thrust just so, he tried to hit the secret spot inside that caused a man so much pleasure.  
   
Jensen arched his back again when Jared pushed in further, head tipping back on a soft moan.  Bracing himself, Jensen was unprepared for the bolt of pleasure that rocked through him in response to Jared's next thrust.  He cried out, sharp and loud, cock throbbing where it was pressed into the pillows.  "Jared!"

Pleased, Jared repeated the thrust and then picked up his speed and strength.  He slid one hand under Jensen to wrap around his erection, sweeping his fingers over the leaking head and spreading that all over the length.  "My Jensen," he said fiercely.  "Mine."  
   
"Yours," Jensen moaned and then cried out when Jared struck his sweet spot again.  He writhed on the bed, trying to get both pleasures at once and craving more from his lover.

Jared continued to pick up his rhythm, working himself in and out of Jensen.  His body broke out in a musky sweat as his muscles worked hard to give Jensen what he wanted.  He lost the ease of stroking Jensen, often going too fast or too slow.  
   
Jensen pushed back into Jared, head turned to the side and pressed hard into his pillow while he panted and moaned out his pleasure.  Jared's uneven stroking fired Jensen's passion, but never quite let him reach ecstasy.  "My Jared, you feel so amazing inside me."

On the edge of pushing himself too hard, Jared found and caught his rhythm, slamming the bed into the wall with each thrust.  He opened his mouth on a series of ever louder moan, grunts and cries, as he claimed Jensen in this most primal of ways.  No longer in control, he let instinct take over completely, yanking Jensen up to meet him with one hand, while the other caught the same timing and mercilessly pleasured Jensen's cock.

Jared's loss of control thrilled Jensen, his body responding and reacting without thought to Jared slamming in and out of his body.  He gripped the bed and did his best to meet each of Jared's thrusts with a movement of his own, matching Jared's cries when his lover hit his sweet spot over and over.  Within minutes of Jared's new rhythm, Jensen came hard over Jared's hand and onto the pillow beneath his hips.

Jared felt Jensen clamp around him and bit his lip hard to keep from releasing right then.  He held himself still until Jensen relaxed underneath him and then slid out slowly.  "Beautiful Jen."

Jensen slumped into the bed when Jared pulled back.  He was still arched over the pillows, ass in the air and panting to try and catch even the shortest of breaths.  He forced his eyes open and looked at Jared over his shoulder.  "Why did you stop, my Jared?" 

"I wanted to watch you as I came," Jared said with a smile.  "And now, you are so relaxed, I can."  He gently moved Jensen on his back and bent him in half.  "Trust me, Jen?"

"Of course, I trust you," Jensen breathed out, moving to settle on his back the way Jared wanted and then making himself comfortable.

Jared eased himself forward, lined up and pressed back inside Jensen.  He gasped as he hit bottom and froze, biting his lip and reciting disgusting things in his head until he regained a little control of himself.  Opening his eyes to lock on Jensen's, he asked, "Are you all right?"  
   
Jensen stared up at Jared, eyes wide, and nodded.  Moaning, Jensen wrapped his legs around Jared and tipped his head back on the pillow.  He was amazed at how much more this felt, how amazing it was to be able to see Jared while also being stretched and filled.  "Yes, my Jared.  Am more than all right."

Jared kissed over Jensen's cheeks and then claimed his full mouth as he began to stroke inside him again.  "You feel so lovely, Jen.  Looking in your eyes, seeing what I'm doing to you.  So perfect."

"Why?" Jensen gasped the question.  "Why not like this before?"  He wrapped himself entirely around Jared, using his arms and legs to rock his body up and into each and every one of Jared's thrusts.

"Too hard, it would hurt too much," Jared gritted out, face flushed with pleasure.  He pulled Jensen harder into each thrust.  "Better now."

Jensen nodded, willing to believe anything Jared might tell him at this point.  His body was too worn out from the build up and his release to respond much, but Jensen enjoyed the feeling of Jared gliding in and out of him and the way they move together as though they'd been loving each other for years.

Jared stuttered, shook, stuttered again and then came with a cry that rattled the room.  His big body vibrated through climax, emptying deep into Jensen until he had nothing left.  With a groan, he let himself slump on top of Jensen, exhausted and completely satiated.

Arm tightening around Jared, Jensen clung to his lover and pressed kisses along the side of his face.  He nuzzled at Jared's ear and thrilled to the weight of Jared pressing him in to the bed. 

"Oh wow," Jared breathed out and then laughed a little at himself.  He heaved and managed to roll himself to lay beside Jensen.  "Hello."

Jensen rolled right with Jared, curling up to his side and burrowing against his chest.  "Hello, my Jared."  He pressed a soft kiss to Jared's shoulder and then snuggled right back in again.

Jared cradled Jensen to him and caressed the warm, silky skin of his lover.  "I love you," he said again, needing to say the words that made his heart expand.  "I love you so much."

"And I love you, my Jared."  Jensen smiled to himself, eyes drifting shut in pleased exhaustion.

Jared watched Jensen's eyes flutter shut and smiled, pushing himself slowly down to hover over the splatters on Jensen's abdomen.  He began to clean them with his tongue, before finding a perfect patch of skin, latching on and sucking up a mark with eager little growls.

Jensen grinned when Jared began to clean him, loving the fact that his lover was such a considerate man.  He stroked a hand over Jared's head and then grabbed at his hair with a cry, as Jared bit down.

Jared grinned and then picked up the lazy cleaning with his tongue again.  He took long enough for Jensen to relax, before suddenly sinking in to make another mark of possession.  His lover wanted marks to remember him by during their separation, so Jared planned to give him marks.

Moaning helplessly at the surprising sensations, Jensen arched and writhed under Jared with each one.  He relaxed and slumped back into the bed, cock stirring a little more each time Jared pulled up another bruise to his skin.  "So good, my love."

"For us both," Jared assured him, kissing the latest mark he had made on Jensen's fair skin.  He smiled up at his lover and asked, "Is there anywhere in particular you might wish me to place my claim?"

"I want to be able to see them and touch them, Jared."  Jensen stroked his hand over whatever he could reach of Jared's body.

Jared smiled and nodded, eyes wicked.  "So, I should suck one up on your fine buttocks, then?  Something to remind you of me each time you sit down?"

Jensen laughed and wrapped himself around Jared.  "It might be interesting to feel the mark every time I sat down."

Jared narrowed his eyes and pressed his mouth against the nearest piece of Jensen's skin, sucking and bruising the area with delicious intent.  "Interesting, eh?" he murmured against the warm, damp area.

Twining his fingers in Jared's hair, Jensen grinned and writhed under his body.  "Yes, interesting."  He gasped a bit softly at Jared's renewed marking.

Jared growled and rolled Jensen on his stomach, lifting his ass with brute strength.  "Then, I shall be interesting," he declared, before taking a perfect piece of Jensen's ass, right where it would rest when he sat, and drawing up a large, raw mark.

Jensen cried out, head tipped back and grasping at the bed.  He shook and held on, whimpering at the way Jared sucked at his skin relentlessly.

Jared released the skin with a satisfied hum and then said, "There, now that is interesting."  Without forethought, he brought his palm down with a satisfying smack on the new mark.

Pressing into Jared's hand, Jensen cried out at the slap and then shook on the bed.  He rocked his cock into the pile of pillows, surprised at the way he'd hardened from the touch.

"Well," Jared purred, startled by Jensen's response and then deeply pleased.  "You liked that."  He smiled and pressed a kiss to the mark, before slapping it again.

Jensen was ready to respond, but when Jared slapped him again he cried out and arched up again.  "Jared! I want-"  He rocked his hips against the stack of pillows again.

"You want what?" Jared asked, determined to have Jensen tell him, and in great detail.  He caressed the raw patch of skin, fingers gentle now over the mark and the red around it.  "Tell me, Jen, and I shall do whatever you ask."

"I want more; I want you to touch me like that again, please."  Jensen smiled over his shoulder at Jared, not entirely sure how to ask for what he wanted.

Jared raised an eyebrow and said, "How exactly?  Come, Jen, you must make a better effort than that to explain."  He pressed a finger into the bite mark, just enough to cause a spark along the nerves.

"Will you..." Jensen trailed off and then smiled shyly at his lover.  "Will you spank me again?  Please?"

Jared purred with pleasure and spread out his legs, so he could drape Jensen over them.  He slid Jensen so his cock rested against one of Jared's strong thighs and then caressed his ass.  "After I spank you, shall I make a mark on your other cheek, as well?"  He brought his hand down on each cheek.

Jensen opened his mouth to respond to the question, but moaned instead at the repeated strikes of Jared's hand.  He shuddered out a couple of breaths and then forced his eyes open to Jared's gaze.  "Yes, my Jared.  Please."

"Hmm, shall I spank you until you release then?" Jared asked.  He alternated between stroking and smacking the well rounded backside presented so enticingly to him.  He had not expected this desire of Jensen's, but he loved it, loved that Jensen allowed himself to be so free with his desires, his needs.

"Is... is that possible?"  Jensen asked, writhing against Jared’s thigh and bracing himself for each strike of Jared's palm.

"Do you wish it to be?" Jared asked, laying down a random patterns of slaps across both of Jensen's naked cheeks.  He spent a moment caressing the dark crevice between them, as well, enchanted by his lover.

"Yes, I think so."  Jensen moaned softly when Jared slid his fingers back and forth between his cheeks.  The tender touch was so in contrast to the sharp sting of the slaps that it left Jensen breathless and more aroused than he'd even thought were possible.  "I love all of the ways you touch me, my Jared."

"Then it shall be," Jared said, penetrating Jensen with two fingers and thrusting in and out for a moment.  He then removed the fingers and sent a rat-a-tat of slaps across Jensen's cheeks.

Jensen writhed against Jared's hands, body dancing from the play of Jared's fingers inside him to the way they drove Jensen higher and higher into passion.

Leaning forward, Jared peppered Jensen's shoulders with little kisses.  He squeezed the  
tender curves of Jensen's ass and lightly scratched over the mark.  "You want me in you again, Jen?"

"Please, my Jared."  Jensen arched his back again and rocked into Jared's touch.

"Then if you want me, you need to come for me now, Jen.  I want you to show me how much you need me, right now."  Jared smacked Jensen a few more times, hard and fast.

All Jensen needed to come was the combination of Jared's touch and his heated voice.  He trembled and clung to the bed, coming on the fourth slap right at the crease of his ass and his thighs.

"That's my Jen," Jared crooned and pinched his ass.  He waited for Jensen to calm down, before asking, "Would you like to try a new position, my Jen?"

"Another one?" Jensen asked, breathless and pushing up to look over his shoulder at Jared.  "Yes."

"All we need to do is slide you around a little," Jared said with a smile.  He encouraged Jensen to sit up, face him and place his legs on either side of Jared.  "Just lift up a little and let me in, my Jen."  He reached for some more oil to smear inside Jensen first.

Jensen rose up over Jared's lap, wrapped his arms around his lover's neck and held on tight while Jared slid slick fingers back inside his body.  "Like this, my Jared?"

"Yes, Jen," Jared praised and pressed up to kiss him slow and slick.  He stretched Jensen's ass with his fingers for another moment.  "Want the rest now, Jen?"

"God yes, please, Jared." Jensen pressed back on Jared's fingers, but held himself poised up on his knees so that Jared could reach him easily.

Jared grasped his erection, lined himself up and pressed inside Jensen.  "So good, Jen, opening for me so easy.   Just a little more... oh yes."  He shut his eyes as Jensen settled completely on his lap.

Jensen rocked down on Jared, pressing until his lover was as deeply inside as he could be.  Without waiting for Jared's instruction, Jensen clenched his muscles and rocked upward slightly to realign and then settle back down on Jared's lap.

Jared growled as Jensen's unexpected move.  He caught his hips and said, "What are you doing, Jen?"

"Want to feel something more, my Jared.  It feels good to have you moving inside me."  Jensen smiled at Jared and then rocked his hips as much as he could in Jared's grasp.

"I shall move as you wish, then, my Jen.  How may I please you best?"  Jared held still and waited for Jensen's command.

"I do not know, my Jared.  Just need you to move inside me."  Jensen was near to frustration, body aching and wanting more, but not at all certain of what would give him the satisfaction that he desired.  He held tight to Jared and wriggled his body again, lifting slightly and shifting a bit to one side before he settled back down and Jared slid even deeper inside him.

Jared groaned as Jensen wiggled and shifted, feeling himself gain an extra inch of Jensen's body.  "Jen, you are torturing me."  He gripped Jensen tightly by the hips and lifted him up with main strength, before lowering him back down.  

"Oh!"  Jensen cried out, grabbing hold of Jared and holding on tight while he was moved up and down on Jared's cock.  He opened his eyes wide, staring into Jared's gaze.

Jared held Jensen's eyes, his gaze smoldering.  "This works even better when you assist me," he rumbled, repeating the motion and adding his own hip thrust.  "Come, Jen."

Jensen chuckled and braced his legs.  "You want me to lift up?"  He did just that, raising himself over Jared and holding himself up until Jared tugged him down onto his cock again.

"Move yourself both up and down, my Jen."  Jared leaned forward to press sucking kisses to Jensen's stomach, even as he lifted him again.  "When we work together, it will feel so much more."

Moving himself down on Jared's cock, Jensen nodded and leaned in for a kiss.  He slid his tongue over Jared's lower lip before nibbling and raising himself up again.

Jared bit down on Jensen's lower lip and released it with a pop when Jensen raised up again.  He thrust hard into his lover, rumbling at him.  "That's so good, my Jen.  So good to have you in my lap, impaled on me."

Jensen lifted and dropped himself, over and over while he worked to match Jared's rhythm.  "Feels so good, my Jared.  Love you inside me."

"Someday," Jared groaned, "I will sit in your lap."  He pinched Jensen's ass teasingly and then slapped it with a ringing smack.

"Oh God, Jared."  Jensen rose and fell, pressing into the slap on his ass.  He loved the way Jared manhandled him.

"You are beautiful, Jen," Jared praised, helping him move up and down.  "So perfect for me.  I cannot help but love you."

Flushing with pleasure, Jensen moved in Jared's grasp, writhing on his lover's cock.  "I love you, my Jared.  With all that I am."'

"I know, Jen."  Jared found a second to press a kiss to Jensen's left nipple. 

Jensen tipped his head back on a cry, hands sliding up to dig his fingers into Jared's hair.

"There."  Jared forced Jensen down on a particularly hard thrust and held him there, arms trembling, as he sucked a nipple to perfect hardness and then bit down.

"Oh!" Jensen cried out, arching his head back and holding tight to Jared's head while he nipped and sucked at Jensen's nipples.

Jared chuckled happily into Jensen's chest and released him.  "Like that then, my Jensen?  I might be persuaded to do it again, with some slapping, too, if you work for it."

Jensen chuckled.  "How shall I work for it, Jared?" he asked, lifting and lowering himself again now that Jared was no longer holding him as tightly.

"I am sure you can, ughn, think of something," Jared said, wincing a little as Jensen managed to break through his composure.  He pressed a flurry of kisses over Jensen as he bounced up and down.  "More."

Nodding, Jensen tightened his thighs and then began to raise and lower himself with an ever faster and harder pace.  He'd learned, in the short time that they'd been making love, that the pleasure was sharper the faster that Jared fucked him, and Jensen wanted to feel that again, wanted that slight burning inside his body.

Jared groaned his approval of Jensen's aggressive style and thrust equally hard into him.  He peppered Jensen's ass with smacks, wanting to add to the experience for his lover.  "You are so sensual, Jen.  And only I will ever get to see this, your body flushed with pleasure, helpless to the sensations I give you.  What a loss to the rest of the world, but what a wonder for me."  
   
"You flatter me," Jensen panted out, moving over Jared with a shaky rhythm and as much power as he could muster.  Learning about passion from Jared had been a treat, and Jensen took everything Jared had taught him and gave it all right back to Jared with each twitch of his hips and clench of his muscles.

"No," Jared said, licking a stripe up Jensen's chest, "I do not.  Had I not become your lover, someone else would have discovered how magnificent you are.  Perhaps Lady Jessica."  His hands trembled a little at the idea of anyone else touching his Jensen.

"No one else," Jensen panted out, shuddering as the air cooled his skin where Jared licked him.  "I have never been interested in anyone besides you, my Jared."

"Tell me you will never have anyone else," Jared demanded, bring down his hand extra hard over the mark on Jensen's ass.  
   
Jensen cried out, arching up from Jared's smack.  "Never, my Jared. Never have anyone but you."  He clung to Jared, meaning every bit of his statement and praying that Jared would be with him for always.

Satisfied and delighted by Jensen's promise, Jared took control from the bottom, using his strength to manhandle Jensen up and down.  He thrust up hard into every stroke, wanting Jensen to feel him for days after they parted.  "Mine," he said fiercely.  "Mine."  
   
"All yours," Jensen tipped his head back, crying out again and riding Jared hard and fast.  He gripped at Jared's chest and rocked in time with his lover, losing himself to the sensations.

"Close, Jen?  Want you to make a mess for me, my love."  Jared held on to his own release by sheer force of will, wanting them to go together.

Jensen nodded.  "So close."  He arched his back, lifted up and slammed himself down so that Jared would scrape over his prostate.  After a third time, Jensen slammed his head back on a loud cry and came hard, shooting between them and making a sticky mess of their bodies.

Jared cried out a moment later, filling Jensen with seed until it trickled out around him.  "Oh yes, Jen.  So lovely.  So good."  He leaned back and cradled Jensen to his chest, panting for breath.  
   
Tipping forward against Jared, Jensen propped his chin on Jared's shoulder and panted hotly.  He clung to his lover, exhausted and limp with the waves of pleasure that still rolled through him.  "Love you, my Jared."

"I love you, Jensen," Jared said, holding him tightly.  He sought out Jensen's mouth and kissed him slow and deep.  "My own."  
~~~~~~~~~~


	7. Trouble in Paradise

Jensen stared out at the wedding guests in their finery, dancing and mingling, talking and drinking. He was happy for Mack, so glad that she had found someone to be with and was enjoying her day in the spotlight. But Jared was missing, and Jensen wondered what kept his lover from his side.

Lady Jessica glided into the room where Jensen hid, having seen him slink away from the wedding guests with a sad expression. Before, she had been after him for a little pleasure, but now, she desired nothing sweeter than a cold dish of revenge. "Ah, dear Lord Ackles, why do you lurk here alone? Are you not delighted for your sister?"

"Lady Jessica." Jensen smiled at her as best as he could and rose to his feet. "It is a pleasure to see you, and I am more than delighted for Mack. She is happy beyond belief today, and I can only echo that."

"And yet," Jessica said, eyes amused, "you act like a man who has been left jilted at the altar." She smiled, a shark about to bloody the water. "Could it be that you are not so fortunate as your sister?"

Jensen blinked at Lady Jessica, slow and steady. "I have no idea what you could possibly mean, Lady Jessica. I have never been interested in societal events, as you well know."

Lady Jessica laughed delicately and put a hand on his chest, ever so slightly pressing her long nails in. "On the contrary, Lord Ackles, everyone knows you have been traveling with dear Jared. He is quite... talented, is he not?"

Unable to stop the flush creeping up his skin, Jensen cut his gaze away and straightened his shoulders. He refused to answer her, but knew that his silence was almost as damning.

"Ah yes, I see that you are quite smitten," Jessica said, patting his shoulder. "And who can blame you? Jared knows always what to say and how to act, when to press his suit and when to back away. He is a most capable teacher." Her perfect laugh chilled the air. "I myself am his mere apprentice."

Jensen stared hard at her, eyes narrowed before he was compelled to ask, "Whatever do you mean Lady Jessica? Jared is nothing but a gentleman in all things."

Lady Jessica placed a hand over her mouth to prevent an unladylike bout of laughter. "Oh, my dear Lord Ackles, please do not be so... coy with me. I know well all of his attributes and being a perfect gentleman is not one of them. Unless he deems that the way to get what he wants."

"I assert that Jared is a gentleman in all ways." Jensen felt uncomfortable with her easy laughter and suggestions.

"Then why is your perfect gentleman not here at your sister's wedding?" Lady Jessica asked, face a picture of innocence. "A gentleman would not miss such an important event."

Jensen brought up a true smile. "Jared is with his family, making amends with his father and seeking his place with them again. I can understand why he would not have been able to make it."

Lady Jessica lifted both eyebrows and asked, "He told you he was going to speak with his father? He and his father have not been on good terms for years, since Jared was caught with one of the farmhands." She covered her mouth in fake shame. "I should not have said that."

"I do realize that. Jared has not kept that from me." Jensen smiled at her, feeling more comfortable in his knowledge of Jared. "However, he has declared that it is time he makes amends with the family, and I wished him luck."

Lady Jessica lifted her head and studied Jensen intently, before a slow, cold smile slipped across her mouth.  "You love him," she whispered, voice full of mirth.  "How absolutely delightful."

Jensen wanted to refute her words, but he couldn't.  "Jared is a dear friend to me."

Lady Jessica clapped her hands together and asked, "So, you have committed the ultimate sin with him then?  He has shown you all the pleasures of the flesh."  
"Lady Jessica!"  Jensen was truly shocked and scandalized that she would even broach such a subject.  "That is not fit conversation and most surely none of your concern."

Lady Jessica delicately whipped out her fan and waved it in a most aggrieved manner.  "Why, Lord Ackles, do not protest so vehemently.  Two people so intimately acquainted with the same man can surely have no just cause not to freely discuss him.  Dear Jared scarcely minds, I am sure.  He is the talk of many a bedroom."   
“I am quite certain that I do not care what bedrooms you have graced, nor should I be inclined to discuss whether or not I had graced the same.  It is quite rude a topic to broach, especially at my sister's wedding."  Jensen shook his head and gave her a disappointed look. 

"Ah, but I am quite certain you are interested in what bedrooms your dear friend has graced, Lord Ackles," Lady Jessica said.  "For he has quite the collection, including the broken hearts that pile up along the way."  
Jensen hesitated.  He knew Jared had a past, William was testament to that, but tried hard not to care.  Jared was with him in the here and now... only he was not there.  "I- what Jared did before we met is none of my concern." 

Lady Jessica stepped forward, eyes wicked.  "You should care.  Jared is not known for his faith.  Once he has from you what he wants, and I can see that he has, then he moves on.  Often without a word of farewell... or perhaps, on a pretense, such as reuniting with his estranged family."  She fluttered her eyelashes a little.  "As he taught me, it makes departures so much less... emotional."  
"I cannot believe that of him." Jensen said, voice quiet, hesitant.  "Jared would not do such a thing to me." 

"Why not you, when he has done it to so many others?" Lady Jessica asked, head high.  "Why should you think yourself so special amongst his many lovers?  You who can barely interact with others, who hide in corners and shrink from contact."  
Jensen flinched at her harsh words.  "Because Jared said he loved me... that he wanted to make amends with his family so he could be a part of society.  With me."

Lady Jessica sneered at Jensen, the ugliness of her soul piercing her outward beauty.  "You are indeed quite gullible for believing a man like Jared could possibly love a pathetic creature like you."  
Jensen's doubts expanded.  Hadn't he thought a similar thing when Jared first professed his love?  He'd never truly thought that anyone would love him, never mind one full of life such as Jared.  "Lady Jessica, that is an ugly thing to say.  Jared would do well to love me."

"And why do you say that?" Lady Jessica asked.  "What can you offer him that he does not already have?"  
Opening his mouth to answer, Jensen realized that he could not think of anything.  There was nothing he had that Jared did not already have.  "I can offer him someone who enjoys him for himself, who is not trying to gain something from him."

Lady Jessica arched a perfect eyebrow.  "You and half of the civilized world.  How many more talented, handsomer, intelligent, brave people could Jared have chosen, should he want?  There is nothing that would make you his choice to love.  Nothing."

"You cannot know that, Lady Jessica."  Jensen knew he sounded desperate, not wanting to believe her much as he was beginning to. 

Sensing victory, Lady Jessica pressed forward.  "I can know, Lord Ackles, for Jared and I are quite alike.  Heartless and after only what pleasures such fools as you can provide us, before we toss you aside and find greener fields."  
"No," Jensen whispered, even while each word sank into his mind and heart as truth.  "Jared would not... could not."

Jessica opened her mouth to finish Jensen off, when the announcement, "Lord Jared Padalecki," rang from the entrance.  She turned toward the door, surprised.  
   
Jared entered the large hall, searching for Jensen.  His meeting with his parents had taken even longer than he anticipated, so he had missed the wedding, a fact he most deeply regretted.  He vowed to make it up to both Mackenzie and Jensen, even as he strode through the crowds, searching for his love.  Moving quickly, he nearly bowled over a slightly shorter man who stepped in front of him.  "Gabriel," he said, when he caught the man before he fell and found himself looking into the eyes of a former bedmate. 

Gabriel looked up with surprise, his hands reaching out to grasp onto the man running him down.  When he saw that Jared was the one who held him, he smiled and leaned in close.  "Jared, so good to see you.  It has been a long time since we have spoken."

The announcement of Jared's name sent a bolt of relief through Jensen.  He smiled, bright and wide, turning to stare out over the crowd.  His lover looked gorgeous, stunning, and Jensen ached to be able to go to him and embrace him.  When he saw a beautiful man speaking with Jared, his heart stuttered again.

Jared bowed his head to Gabriel, ashamed now of the way he had treated the man, who had been a good and generous lover.  "Indeed, Sir, it has been a long time.  And we must remedy that someday soon... but not today, I fear.  I have missed the wedding of my dear friend and must make amends to her and her family."  
   
Lady Jessica moved up behind Jensen and noticed Jared in close conference with the future Duke of Lanchester.  She knew him to be a former lover of Jared's, but said, "Ah, perhaps he has already found another."   
Smiling at Jared, Gabriel leaned in close.  "Do promise that we can meet again, Jared.  I should love to hear about your life since we last met."  He all but purred at the way Jared looked at him.

Jensen shook his head, the elation of seeing Jared at Mack's reception fading into worry and fear that Lady Jessica was indeed correct.  That maybe, just maybe, Jared was here to wish Mack well and then head off with this new gentleman.

"I owe you at least that," Jared said with a sad smile and a shake of his head, "but I fear I can give you no more."   
   
Lady Jessica pressed closer and whispered in his ear, "I have it on good authority that the future Duke is quite vocal in his appreciation of Jared.  I am sure they will go together quite well indeed."  
"Not even for old time's sake, Jared?"  Gabriel smiled, lowered his lashes flirtatiously.  He trailed his fingers gently, easily up Jared's arms and then laid a hand over his heart.  "I have missed you."

Jensen watched the scene unfolding with a heavy heart.  Jared was not attempting to extricate himself from the other man.  "He would seem a decent match for Jared, I grant you.  But he has said he loves me."

Jared removed Gabriel's hand from his heart and squeezed it once, before releasing it again.  "I cannot, Gabriel, for I am in love."  He dropped his head and laughed mockingly at himself.  "After all I have done, I am finally in love myself."  He raised his eyes to Gabriel's again and said, "I am sorry.  I know what I did to you, what I have done to so many others, was wrong.  And I can offer you nothing but my apologies in return."  
   
"Fool," Lady Jessica hissed.  "I am glad Lord Padalecki stopped me from bedding you, for you are too stupid even for me to tolerate."  She turned and glided off, eyes already on another fine prize.  
Gabriel pouted, curling his hand into a fist.  "I accept your apology and will back down in respect.  I never imagined a day you would find love."  He tilted his head and stared at Jared.  "Who is the lucky lady or gentleman?"

"Someday, I may tell you," Jared said with a lift of his head, "but I have not the permission yet to make the announcement public."  He bowed to Gabriel, said, "May you find happiness," and continued his way through the crowd to find Jensen.

When Jensen saw Jared grasp Gabriel's hand, he turned away.  He watched Lady Jessica flounce off, glad to be rid of presence, and then strode away from his formerly comfortable hiding space.  It took Jensen a bit, but he reached Mackenzie's side and stole her from her husband for a dance.  "How're you enjoying your night, Mack?"

Mackenzie beamed up at Jensen and said, "Oh dear brother, is it really true?  Am I married to such a wonderful man?"  
"You are, my darling, wee Mackenzie."  Jensen grinned and spun her in a circle on the dance floor.  Though he was not one to make a spectacle, Jensen refused to miss out on spending time with her.  "And no bride has ever looked as sparkling as you do today."  He hugged her close and spun her around another couple.  "Jared has arrived, and it seems he has quite the reputation of a rake.  He has already been flirting with someone else this evening."

Mackenzie stiffened in his arms, good mood draining away instantly.  "Dear Jensen, are you sure?  You must be sure before you think such things of the one you love."   
   
Jared saw Jensen dancing with Mackenzie across the way and paused to watch them.  His heart sped up as he beheld the man he loved after time apart and though it was a little improper, he stepped out on the floor and headed toward them.  
Jensen looked sadly at Mackenzie.  "He was gazing quite fondly at the other man and apparently uses men up as his bed partners."  Jensen offered her a bittersweet smile.  "Please do not frown today, my sister.  It is your happiest of days and I should like to hear all about how you felt."

Mackenzie opened her mouth to retort and then her eyes widened as Jared strode up beside them.  "Oh."  
   
Jared put a hand on Jensen's shoulder and squeezed gently, before bowing to them both.  "Pray forgive this interruption, but I could not bear to wait another moment."  He turned his eyes to Jensen for a second, before addressing Mackenzie.  "Please forgive me for missing your wedding, Lady Asherton.  I have no excuse, save that I was delayed in my sailing by my family business.  I wished so much to see you given away by your dear brother."  
Tensing under Jared's touch, Jensen moved back and offered his own bow to Jared.  He stood by while his lover spoke with his sister, upset and worry churning through him.  "As you missed any opportunity to speak with my sister earlier, I shall step away for you to dance with her."  He turned to his sister and squeezed her hand.  "Pray you do not depart on your wedding trip without remembering to say goodbye."

Jared reached out and caught Jensen's hand, twining their fingers together briefly.  "Dear Jensen, I have missed you.  When I have finished this lovely dance, may we not be together?"  
Jensen looked from Mackenzie to where Jared gripped his hand and then back to his eyes.  "As soon as I see my sister safely off, then yes, I think we should have a drink together."

Jared frowned a little at the offer of a drink and asked softly, "May I not see you before that, Jen?"

"Dance with my sister, Lord Padalecki, and we may speak after." Jensen sketched a bow, threw a soft glance at Mackenzie and turned on his heel to seek some fortification from his father's liquor cabinets.

Jared's frown deepened at being called Lord Padalecki, and he turned to Mackenzie. "Would you like to finish the dance, Lady Asherton?"

"Yes, of course, Jared. Please do still call me either Mackenzie or Mack." Mackenzie stepped into his arms with a slight frown on her face at the unfortunate turn of events.

Jared swept Mackenzie into the dance and said, "I am deeply sorry for missing your wedding. You look simply stunning in your gown. I do hope your husband deserves you, though I suppose he must if Jensen allowed you to marry him without complaint." Jared kept his tone light and expression even, though his insides churned with worry at Jensen's odd behavior.

Mackenzie beamed at Jared. "My husband is the most wonderful of men. I am heartily glad that Jensen likes him and shall hope that you get along with him as well." She bit her lower lip. "I am pleased you were able to make the ball. What kept you from the ceremony?" she asked, hoping to hear something better than her brother led her to believe.

"Before we left Rome, I received a letter from my father. We have not been on the best terms for far too many years. I wished to begin to heal those wounds and thought there would be enough time before your wedding. I regret that I was longer than I anticipated." Jared smiled, the light reaching his eyes. "However, I cannot be sorry, for I am closer to my family than I have been since I was but a boy."

"Oh Jared, that is simply wonderful. I am so happy that you were able to be with them and that you are happy at the outcome. Do tell me what happened." Mackenzie smiled at Jared, in love with the fact that he was getting along with his family. Hers were her world.

Jared blushed faintly and felt strange for being embarrassed. "There was much in the way of embracing, and we spoke as family do. I confessed to my many sins and was forgiven for them." He ducked his head and then lifted his eyes to meet hers. "I admit to many sins."

Mackenzie bit her lip and tipped her head. "Do you? I fear that may be what has upset my brother." She sighed and rubber her hand over Jared's shoulder. "I am glad for the mend with your family. Jensen had told me you both left Rome upon my letter to him."

"Then he has heard?" Jared asked, eyes crinkling in dismay. "I meant to speak to him soon, tell him everything myself." He forced himself to keep dancing and not rush into the crowd after Jensen.

Looking away for a moment, Mackenzie nodded her head. "I am afraid he believes he has seen it himself... as well as having been told about them." She turned and gave Jared a fierce look. "I shall not have him hurt, Jared. He is fragile, and I am afraid this shall shatter him."

"Then I must go speak with him now," Jared said, "if you will forgive me for ending our dance early."

Mackenzie nodded and stepped back from Jared. She grinned at him and squeezed his hand. "He will have escaped to Father's study. It is on this level, four doors down from the dining room."

Jared bent and kissed her hand.  "Dear Mack, should I not love your brother so much, I very well might be jealous of your husband."

Laughing, Mack shook her head and pushed him off. She turned and wound her way back through the crowd to her husband's side.

Jared hurried through the throngs and headed straight for the study. He knocked once on the door and pushed it open. "Jen?"

Jensen stood at the desk, tipped back the tumbler of scotch whiskey and then turned to face Jared. He inclined his head. "Jared."

Jared entered the room and shut the door softly behind him. He approached Jensen slowly, as one might approach a wounded tiger, and reached out for him. "I have missed you, Jen. I am sorry I was late in my return."

"How is your family?" Jensen asked. He shifted himself back around and poured them both measures of whiskey before handing one to Jared.

Jared took the drink and then set it down again. "Jensen? I had hoped to take you in my arms and kiss you. May I?"

Jensen tossed back his fourth shot and shook his head. "I am not certain that is a wise idea, Jared." He placed the glass down and poured another measure. "I worried about you on your travels when you didn't make it to the ceremony."

Jared reached out and snatched the full glass away from Jensen, setting it aside. "Jensen, please tell me what is the matter."

"I have heard things about you, things about your past that unsettle me." Jensen crossed his arms above his waist.

Jared nodded and gestured toward two big chairs in front of the fireplace. "I imagine they might have. May we not sit down and talk, Jen? There are so many things I wish to tell you. Well, perhaps not wish, but need, to tell you. I planned to speak with you soon enough, but not tonight... tonight I wished to hold you in my arms again and love you." He paused and shook his head, straightening to his full height. "But you need to know now, so now is when I will speak."

Jensen followed Jared and sat in one of his father's chairs and crossed his ankle over his knee. "We do need to have a talk, yes. I have heard many things that disturb me."

Jared sat across from him and asked, "Do you wish to tell me what you have heard?"

"I have heard that you regularly seduce both men and women into your bed only to discard them when you are through. That you have left them without word or deed." Jensen looked down at his hands, hurt settling where anger should have resided. "I have heard that was your intention for me."

Jared shut his eyes and breathed out a long and painful exhale. He leaned forward, arms on his legs and pulled together his strength. "The truth, I fear, shall aggrieve you even more. I ask, my Jensen, that you let me tell my tale, all of it, before you pass judgment on me. Will you do that? Or at least, will you try?"

Jensen looked up at Jared, pain and fear in his eyes, and nodded. "I shall try, Jared. For you, I shall try."

"When I met you that night, cornered by Lady Jessica, I had gone to the party to try my charms on Mackenzie, not you." Jared shuddered, deeply ashamed and disgusted by his plans for that night. "When I saw you, handsome and shy, trying so hard to fend off unwanted attentions, I knew that is was you I must have."

Opening and closing his mouth, Jensen balled his hands into fists. He resisted the temptation to rail at Jared, trying to keep his word.

Jared raised his head and met Jensen's eyes. "I have been cold and calculating for most of my life, Jen. I knew how to approach you, how to woo you, how to get you to trust and care for me. I have done it many times before to many different people. And until now, I never spared a thought to those I hurt."

Jensen closed his eyes, breath shuddering out. Jared was confirming what Lady Jessica had said. He had only been a game, a toy to Jared. "You made me fall in love with you." He breathed the words out on a ragged whisper.

"Yes," Jared agreed, "but then a very strange thing happened... I fell in love with you." He climbed off the chair and on his knees in front of Jensen. "And now, you hold my heart in your hands, as I have held other peoples. I can only beg you to be kinder to me than I have been to them, though I know it may be a vain plea."

Breathing shallowly, Jensen scrunched his face up and wiped away the tears on his lashes. "All of the things I heard were true. I tried not to believe them; they didn't sound like the Jared I grew to know. But you say they are true, which means I do not even know you." He blew out a ragged breath. "You were looking rather cozy with someone when you arrived... just seconds after you were announced."

Jared shut his eyes and fought through the lump forming in his throat.  "I have been more myself with you than I have ever been with anyone.  You inspired me to go home, to make amends to my family, to try and make amends to some whom I have hurt through my actions... like Gabriel, the man you saw me with tonight.  He was one of my lovers, whom I left without a moment's thought.  What you witnessed was my feeble attempt to apologize for the pain I can never truly wipe away, no matter how much I may wish to."

Jensen wanted to believe, ached to believe, but Lady Jessica had done her job well.  He wavered with indecision, hurt and scared and unsure if he could trust Jared’s words.  "Jared..." Jensen began and then fell silent, lifting his hands and dropping them back to his lap.  He looked away again.  "I wish we'd never left Rome."

Jared placed a hand over Jensen's and rubbed his thumb over the back.  "This was coming, Jen, whether we stayed in Rome or not.  Once I fell in love with you, I knew I had to tell you the truth about what I've been and the things I have done.  I just wanted to be the one you heard it from.  I’m sorry for not telling you sooner."   
Wavering still, Jensen nodded and blew out a hot breath.  "I honestly do not know what to think, Jared.  You have professed to using people, to setting out to use me."  He bit his lower lip and then looked at Jared with a watery gaze.  "Now, I do not know how much of my memories of us and what we've done can be trusted.  Do you understand that?  You did so much of what you did with me in order to bed me, and how can I know what was real?"

Jared felt his own eyes glaze with tears and said softly, "I understand, Jensen.  I can only repeat that I love you and am sorry for what I have done to you and to others.  But I cannot be sorry that I decided to pursue you, even if you must ask me to leave now, for you melted my heart and taught me to feel."  He bent his head and kissed the back of Jensen's right hand.  
Jensen curled his hand into a fist, enclosing Jared's.  He trembled, a single tear spilling over and running down his cheek.  "I do not want to send you away, but nor can I just slide into your arms and ignore everything I have learned."  He closed his eyes, sniffed and then bowed his head.  "I need time.  Will you give me that?"

"I will give you whatever you need, Jensen," Jared said softly.  "Do you wish me to go away?"  
"No, I wish you to stay here for the party.  But then I shall need some time after that."  Jensen looked at Jared, sadness in his gaze.  "I shall continue to be in contact, but after tonight, I shall need space."

Jared nodded, a tear escaping his right eye and trailing down his cheek.  "I shall stay for the party then... where?"  
"With me," Jensen smiled sadly.  He may have been upset, but Jensen was still in love with Jared.  "I would like to hear about your time with your family.  I know that it was an important trip for you to make."

Jared shivered at the idea of being near Jensen and not able to touch him, love him the way he wanted.  He wiped away a few more tears and forced himself back into his chair.  "And after this evening is over?"  
"Go back to your family and enjoy them... give me a bit of time to sort my head."  Jensen tightened his fingers over Jared's and tried to reassure him as much as he could with his own doubts swirling.

Jared nodded, but knew he would not be going back home.  Not where the echoes of what had been his happiness would haunt him everyday.  "I will go then."   
   
"Not just yet?  Please, tell me of your family.  I have been yearning to know how your visit went."  Jensen smiled through the sadness, still gripping Jared's hand.

"It-" Jared's voice broke, and he fought for his composure, once so easy to maintain, to control in any way he pleased.  He kept his eyes on the ground, knowing to look at Jensen was to lose any hope of getting through this without completely shaming himself.  "We have begun to heal the wounds of the past," he forced out.

"Oh, Jared, that is wonderful.  I am happy for you that you are finding your way back to them. I know that your estrangement had begun to wear on you."  Jensen bit his lower lip, wondering if that were really true now or if it were only a part of the act.  He shook his head slightly, willing himself to try and give Jared the benefit of the doubt.

Jared's heart pounded painfully in his chest.  He hated this charade, this pretense of normalcy between them, but knew he deserved every torturous moment.  "Thank you."  He searched his mind for something to say.  "Mackenzie looked very happy.  Lord Asherton is a fortunate man."   
Jensen smiled at the thought of Mack and her new husband.  "He is, and she is lucky, too.  Asherton is a wonderful man.  Mack had excellent taste in him.  Would you like to meet him and the rest of the family?"  Biting his lip with insecurity, Jensen alternately hoped that Jared did and didn't want to meet them... falling more on the side of hoping he did.

Jared lifted his head and looked at Jensen with quiet disbelief.  "You wish to introduce me to them?"  
"Yes, I do.  Mother has asked me about the gentleman I traveled with."  Jensen smiled shyly.  "I could hardly stop talking about our trip, and she was rather taken with the idea of meeting you."

"You still want me to meet them?" Jared asked.  "Knowing what you do of me now and having asked me to leave when tonight is over."  He clenched his fists, wondering if Jensen might be toying with him, except that he knew that to be impossible of his character.   
Jensen nodded, fearing that Jared truly did not care for him any longer.  "I have not asked you to let go of me, Jared.  Not asked that you walk away altogether.  I simply need some time to think of the things I have heard."  He begged Jared with his eyes to understand both needs.

"I did- do wish to meet your family," Jared said.  "I shall try not to dishonor you."  He wiped at his face and struggled for poise and control.  
"I know."  Jensen was not insensitive, could see that Jared was struggling and knew that Jared had expected to come back to his open arms.  "Why don't you take a few moments, have a draught of the whiskey and then meet me in hall?"

"Yes, a moment would be appreciated," Jared said.  He stood and walked a few steps away from Jensen.  "Thank you."

Jensen nodded.  "You are most welcome, Jared."  Crossing the room, Jensen opened the door and turned to look at Jared's shoulders.  "I do still love you, Jared," he said and then stepped into the hallway, shoulders drooping.

"No, you love who you thought I was," Jared whispered, staring blindly down at the floor.  He pressed his fists to his eyes and allowed himself to sob, letting out the worst of his emotions.  And then grabbing the full glass he had taken from Jensen, he flung it into the fire with an angry cry.  He breathed hard for another minute and then gathered around him the cloak of everything he had ever learned as Jared the heartless.  He could do this, get through meeting Jensen's family and enduring his distant presence for one evening.  He headed for the door, took one final calming breath and stepped out.  "I am ready," he said.     
The sounds had not escaped Jensen's notice, but he ignored them as he knew Jared would wish.  "I know that Mackenzie should like to do the introductions, so we shall search her out first.  I fear that Mother should not be too keen in allowing you to escape once she is bending your ear about the trip."  Jensen clasped his hands behind his back while they walked, straining against the desire to reach out and curl himself into Jared's frame.

Jared held himself stiff and tall, chanting the rules he had engrained in himself when he was a teenager in his head, "Do not feel.  Do not react.  Keep yourself distance.  Keep yourself assured.  Control the situation."  He nodded once at Jensen's words and said, "I shall try to keep her suitably entertained with tales that she will enjoy."  
Jensen detested the distance that was growing between them, even knowing it was his own doing.  "Of that, I have not a doubt.  She could scarcely believe my tales of the sewers."  He smiled, eyes scanning the crowd for his sister and then guiding them in her direction once he spotted her.

Mackenzie beamed as her brother caught her eye, leading a very serious looking Jared behind him, and took her husband's arm to steer him toward them.  "There you are, Jensen," she said.  "I've been hoping to have the opportunity to introduce Arthur to Jared."  
   
Arthur stepped up alongside Mackenzie, left arm sliding around her waist.  He extended his right hand to Jared with a half-smile.  "It is a pleasure to meet you at last, Lord Padalecki.  My darling Mackenzie has regaled me with tales of your travels."

"You are a most fortunate man, Sir, and I am honored to meet you.  Lord Ackles and the new Lady Asherton have nothing but the highest praise for you."  Jared shook his hand firmly.  
   
Mackenzie glanced worriedly between Jensen and Jared, noting the loss of their easy camaraderie, the warmth that marked their friendship.   
Jensen looked at Mackenzie with sad eyes, but shook his head so she would not pursue the topic.  "We indeed are fortunate that Arthur has joined the family, Jared.  He has made Mackenzie happy and for that I am truly grateful."  Turning to Arthur, Jensen gestured at Jared.  "Jared has rushed from his family in order to not miss your wedding celebrations.  He truly has become a close friend of the family, and you should have a chance to know him upon your return."  Jensen was determined to think positively about the future.

Jared managed a genuine smile for the man who made Mackenzie so happy and said, "Indeed, you may count me as a friend merely for the smile you have put on the face of the Ackles’ family."

Mackenzie beamed at Jared, reaching out to curl her hand around his forearm.  "I am so glad to see you, to have you here with us, Jared.  I have been wanting to talk with you about Paris."

Jared glanced at Jensen, wondering how much he had told his sister.  His smile this time was strained.  "About Paris?"

"Oh yes, Jensen told us all about the sewers and the nightclub you took him to."  Mackenzie's eyes twinkled at Jared, fingers gripping him in earnest.  "We must compare stories once I return from our wedding trip."

"You and Lord Asherton will tour the sewers?" Jared asked with a hint of disbelief.  He smiled slowly and said, "You have married a most headstrong woman, Lord Asherton."

Arthur smiled at Jared.  "And I am glad for it.  When she asked, I did not believe her about the tours, but Jensen confirmed the tales, and I find that I must see this for myself."

Jared nodded and said, "Then indeed you should.  And be sure you go at night, for that is the best time."  

Mackenzie nodded.  "We will surely do so.  As much as I would wish to stand here and speak with you for the rest of the evening, we do have duties tonight."  She released her husband's arm and leaned in to hug Jared.  "Thank you for coming."

Jared hugged Mackenzie gently and then handed her back to her husband.  "Do take care of her, Lord Asherton.  You are one of the luckiest men in the world."    

Mackenzie flushed and curled into Arthur's side with a grin.  
   
"I do appreciate that and shall take the best care I can of her.  Again, a pleasure to meet you, Jared.  See you upon our return."  Arthur pressed a kiss to Mackenzie's hair and then turned and guided her through the maze of people.

Jared turned back to Jensen and said, "A shame you could not also have found so honorable a man."  He internally smacked himself for the slip and rushed on, "Shall I meet the rest of your family now?"

Jensen nodded, bit his lip and then curled his hand around Jared's arm.  "Yes, I can see Mother waving at us from across the room."

Jared smiled as best he could and said, "Indeed, I can see where the Ackles' children got their good looks.  Please do introduce me."

"Of course."  Jensen led Jared though the crowd, conscious of the size of Jared behind him and how much he'd missed his lover.  When they approached Lady Ackles, Jensen stopped and then drew her in for a quick hug.  "Mother, may I present Lord Jared Padalecki, my friend and traveling companion."

Jared bowed over Lady Ackles' hand and brushed a kiss over the knuckles.  "It is a privilege to meet you, Lady Ackles.  You have a most lovely family."

"Why thank you, Jared.  May I call you Jared?  You must certainly call me Donna."  Donna Ackles beamed at the handsome young man in front of her.  "With the way Jensen and Mackenzie both raved over you, I could hardly believe you were a real man.  Please sit with me and tell about your travels with my dear son."

"I'm not sure I could call such a magnificent lady by her first name," Jared said with a little smile.  "However, I would be delighted to tell you about traveling with your son."  Actually, he thought it the definition of a living nightmare.

Donna beamed and drew him into the seat next to hers.  "Jensen dear, please fetch Jared and I some refreshments while I get to know him."  She turned back to Jared.  "I insist you call me Donna and tell me all about Paris."  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jared stood at the entrance of Jensen's house and waited for his chance to say his farewells to the family and Jensen. He had spent the remainder of the night in conversation with Lady Ackles, painfully detailing their happy days in Paris, while maintaining his cheerful facade and aching inside. He now watched Jensen bid the guests adieu, memorizing every detail of the man he loved.

When the last of the majority of the guests had left, Jensen stepped back from the door and turned back to the family and Jared. He kissed his mother on the cheek, kissed his sister-in-law's hand, and shook hands with both his father and brother. Turning to Jared, Jensen tipped his head and led him to the side. "I truly am glad you were able to make it and know that Mackenzie was thrilled to see you before they left." He crossed his arms around his mid-section. "I will call on you in a week or so, if that is okay?"

"Does it really matter what I think of the idea?" Jared asked. "I am glad I got to attend some of your sister's celebration, although I regret missing the actual ceremony."

"It matters to me, Jared." Jensen lifted his eyes, clearer than earlier, but still troubled.

"Call on me when you are ready, Jensen," Jared said. "Please send word in advance, if you would."

Jensen nodded, saddened that Jared wouldn't welcome him simply showing up at his door. "I shall be glad to send word in advance, if you so desire. Can you provide me with the address then?"

"I merely wish to be sure I am there when you call," Jared said with a sad smile.  "I would never forgive myself if I missed you.  Whatever you may decide."  He hung his head, letting his longish hair fall over his eyes, as he felt his insides tighten again.

Jensen nodded, smiling slightly at Jared. "I promise to not take any longer than I shall need. Please, where can I contact you?" The mere thought of Jared being out of contact, out of his reach, instilled panic in Jensen's chest.

"I shall be staying at the same inn I was when I met you. The management knows me." Jared lifted his head and gazed into Jensen's eyes. "You shall call on me?"

"I shall, in no more than a week's time, Jared. I promise you that." Jensen dropped his gaze to the floor and then tucked his hands into his trouser pockets. He glanced up to see his mother staring in their direction.

Jared wanted to reach out to Jensen, touch him and hold him close, but he said, "I shall wait for your word, Jensen."

Jensen nodded, smiled at Jared. "Thank you, and I promise I shan't take long." He turned to his mother, drawing her in. "Mother please say goodbye to Jared. He is returning to his lodgings now."

Jared kissed her hand and said, "It was an honor, Lady Ackles. I hope we can speak again soon."

"Likewise, Jared. You are delightful young man and are ever welcome in our homes." Donna squeezed his hand and smiled brightly at him, much pleased with her son's choice of friend.

"You honor me, my lady," Jared said with another bow. "I hope you are always as pleased with me."

Donna smiled and stepped back to bid farewell to some of the more distant family, and Jensen turned back to Jared. "Safe travels to your lodgings, Jared. Be well."

"My best wishes for the health and happiness of you and your family, Jensen," Jared said formally, bowing a little.

Jensen smiled at Jared's behavior with his family. "Thank you, Jared. I shall see you out, and our driver shall take you home." He gestured for Jared to lead him to the front door.

"As you wish," Jared said, heading toward the door and his escape. He turned as he reached the door. "I- take care of yourself, Jensen."

"You too, my Jared," Jensen breathed.

Jared could not help himself and reached out to brush his fingers gently over Jensen’s right cheek. "Goodbye, Jensen." He walked out the door, refusing to let himself look back.

Jensen watched Jared walk away, saw him disappear through the door. He bit his lower lip and then shoved his fist in his mouth, before spinning on his heel and striding directly to his room where he shut himself inside and broke down.  
~~~~~~~~~~


	8. Healing the Divide

Jared stood by the fireplace, rereading Jensen's note for the hundredth time. The few words announcing his intention to call on Jared that day revealed nothing about his state of mind or decision. He leaned his head against the cool, marble mantle and shivered in fear that Jensen would decide he was not worthy of his love.

Jensen leapt from the carriage, thanking his driver and asking him to wait in case he wasn't that long. He had no idea what Jared would say, if he would decide he wanted to go with Jensen, but Jensen had high hopes for their situation. Walking up to the inn, Jensen asked for Jared at the front desk and then sat down to wait.

Jared barely kept himself from running to the front when Jensen was announced. He held himself stiffly as Jensen came into the view and walked up to him. "Jensen," he said softly, "I'm so glad to see you."

"And I you, Jared." Jensen stood up and turned to look at Jared with a smile on his face. "Shall we share an ale down here or move to your rooms for some privacy?" He really would rather not have the conversation in public, but he would let Jared be the one to decide.

"Whatever is your wish, Jen," Jared said softly. "For this is your moment to say what shall be done."

"Let us have some privacy then, please." Jensen smiled and gestured for Jared to lead them.

Jared smiled, nodded and led Jensen toward his rooms. He opened the door and escorted Jensen inside. "Please, sit down, if you wish. May I get you anything?"

Jensen settled into the chair and shook his head. "I do not need any refreshments now, but thank you. Will you sit too?"

Jared moved to sit in the chair in front of Jensen and attempted to look calm. "It is good to see you, Jen. You look well, more handsome than ever."

"Thank you, Jared." Jensen flushed at the praise and smiled. "I have come because I have thoroughly thought everything through. I want to believe that you only love me and that you want to be with me, but am afraid that you may be tempted by others."

Jared released a shaky breath and said, "I suppose my word is not enough to assuage your fears. How may I prove myself to you?"

"Your word goes a long ways, Jared. It does, and I want you to know that. I just need something a bit more tangible." Jensen sighed and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I am leaving for our country estate. It has been too long since I have been gone from there. But I would have you come with me... come stay with me.”

Jared studied Jensen's posture and said, "You do not seem to be too excited to extend this offer, Jensen.  I do not wish you to do anything you do not wish, no matter how much I might long to be with you."

"I love you, Jared. I apologize; I should have led with that. I wish you to join me and build a life with me." Jensen turned beseeching eyes on Jared. "I simply do not believe we can do that here in town."

Jared slid off the chair and placed his hands on Jensen's legs. "I love you, Jensen. I want to make a life with you, too." He hung his head and said, "I will go with you, Jen, if that is what will make you trust me again."

Jensen sighed and placed his hands over Jared's. "But you do not sound like you truly want to come to the country. Are you certain you wish to accompany me? There shall be little in the way of amusements."

"I merely regret that you feel this is the only way to prove our love for each other," Jared said. He smiled weakly and said, "I know very little about living in the country. I shall not be of much use running an estate."

"I shall teach you, if you wish to learn of it, my Jared." Jensen stroked his hands up and down Jared's forearms. "I love you, Jared, and want you to come with me."

"I want to learn, Jen, and go with you wherever you wish to go." Jared tilted his head up to Jensen. "I'll do what I can to earn your trust back."

Smiling, Jensen nodded. "I know and promise to not make you work hard. I do love you; I think we just needed this time and space to ourselves." He leaned down and cupped Jared's face in his hands before leaning all the way in for a kiss.

Jared sat up and kissed back, arms going around Jensen and tightening to pull him close. He wrapped a hand around the back of Jensen's head and stroked his nape with a thumb.

Jensen sank into Jared's embrace with a soft sigh. He tilted his head and deepened the kiss while holding Jared tightly to him.

Jared slid his tongue into Jensen's mouth and ran his hands through his hair. "Jen. Jen, I love you so."

"Love you too, my Jared. I have missed you deeply and do not want to be without you again." Jensen hitched a breath, tightening his grip on Jared. "My coach is outside and already filled with the things I need for the journey. Will you come with me now?"

"Now?" Jared asked, surprised by Jensen's determination. "I shall have myself ready in haste." He kissed Jensen again and nibbled his bottom lip.

"Now, please, I cannot bear to be parted from you any longer, and we cannot stay here." Jensen flicked his tongue against Jared's mouth and then pulled back. "I want you to be with me.

Jared nodded and stood, moving quickly to pack his things. "I do not even know what I need for the country," he said.

Jensen chuckled. "Simply bring whatever you have here... I do endeavor that you shall never need return to this place, my Jared."

"Never?" Jared asked, truly struck now by what Jensen asked of him. "You are that worried of my faith to you?"

"Oh no!" Jensen bit his lip and shook his head. "I simply meant that I should not want you to keep your rooms here at the inn. I am certain we shall come back to town, but we can stay elsewhere... either at the family home or in rooms we procure for ourselves."

Jared smiled and nodded at Jensen, before going back to packing. "Whatever you want, Jen." He closed his case and looked around at the room. "I have everything."

"You are certain?" Jensen held out his hand to Jared, waiting for his lover to come to him and their new life together.

Jared wondered if either of them were certain, but knew he had to take the chance. So, he took Jensen's hand with his own and said, "Yes, Jen, I'm certain."

Jensen drew Jared in close and leaned in to brush a quick kiss over Jared's mouth. "It is two days ride to our estate, so we shall stay overnight at an inn along the way. But then we shall be home and have our time to ourselves."

Jared kissed back and said, "All right, Jen. Just lead the way."  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jared stood on the edge of the garden and stared out into the fields surrounding Jensen's country home. He had been there for over a week with Jensen, while they tried to mend their relationship. And though he loved Jensen and Jensen loved him, Jared felt completely unsteady in their relationship. He wanted back what they had, for a few nights in Rome, but feared that was ground he could never recover; no matter how much they both desired it.

Jensen finished tucking the picnic basket on the back of his saddle. He grinned to himself and patted the back flank of his horse and then strode out of the barn and across the garden to Jared's side. "The horses are ready, Jay, if you are."

Jared turned toward Jensen with a little smile and said, "You didn't need to saddle my horse for me, Jen. I would have done that. I do know how."

"I had the groom saddle both our mounts, Jared." Jensen dragged a hand down Jared's lower back. "I was too preoccupied with planning our midday meal and the path we should take through the estate today."

"I look forward to wherever you wish to lead me," Jared said. He turned toward Jensen and studied his face before reaching down to take his hand.

Jensen twined their fingers together, bringing his fingers up to kiss the tips. "And I am so glad you are here with me, Jay. I love showing you all of the things who make me who I am."

"These are things you love," Jared said. He squeezed Jensen's hands and then lifted it to his own lips. "And I love you."

"I love you too, Jay." Jensen squeezed Jared's fingers in his own and leaned into his shoulder. "We can head out whenever you're ready."

Jared dropped his arm around Jensen's waist and said, "Please lead on, Jen."

Jensen hummed softly at the closeness. He and Jared had been tiptoeing around each other for most of the week, but Jensen could not bear that for much longer, so he'd planned this day out.

Shutting his eyes, Jared relaxed into contact and wished they could stay like that forever. "I love you so much, Jen," he said, voice tightening.

Turning into Jared, Jensen wrapped both arms around Jared. He loved hearing the words, needed to hear them regularly. "I love you too, my Jared." He lifted his head and pressed a kiss to Jared's mouth.

Jared pulled Jensen closer and rubbed his hands over the broad planes of his back. He twirled their tongues together and hummed softly under his breath. Finally pulling back, he said, "Forgive me, Jen."

"I forgive you, Jared." Jensen smiled shyly at him. “I forgive you, and I love you."

The shy smile reminded Jared of when he met Jensen, and he took a step back. "How can you be sure? You may merely love what you thought I was."

Jensen kept hold of Jared's hands and tugged him close again. "You are proving yourself to be the same considerate man that I fell in love with."

"Am I?" Jared asked, honestly confused. "I don't know how you can tell." He stroked Jensen's cheek, just wanting to touch him, and continued down the side of his neck, finger gentle.

Jensen shivered slightly at the light, teasing touch. "One of the ways I can tell is that you are here. You care that we will work out."

"I love you," Jared said. "I don't know what I would have done if you decided to leave me."

"I do not believe I could have ever come to that decision, my Jared." Jensen sighed and snuggled into Jared. "I needed to be able to process what I heard and reconcile it with what I knew about the man I loved."

"You never have told me how you feel about that," Jared said with a sigh. "We need to speak of that eventually."

Jensen nodded, raised his head and kissed Jared. "We can talk over lunch today... it is time we cleared the air and moved on."

"Whatever you wish, Jen," Jared said.  He pressed a kiss just above Jensen's right eyebrow and then pressed their foreheads together.  "You are in control now, my Jensen.  Whatever you command is how things shall be."

That didn't settle nearly as well with Jensen as he might have expected, but he nodded.  "I want to move forward with you, my Jared. I want us to be happy together and to build the life we'd discussed on our travels."

Jared thought of the happy man he had been when they had discussed their life together and hoped Jensen would be satisfied with who he was now.  "Yes, all right."

Jensen twined their fingers together and slowly started to walk toward the front of the house and the horses.  He kept Jared's hand firmly in his, the first true show of their affection in front of anyone in the household.

Jared fell into step with Jensen and settled his hand around Jensen's.  "You wish the servants to know for sure about us?"   
he asked softly.

"I do, my Jared."  Jensen squeezed his hand in reassurance.  "I love you, and you do not deserve to be hidden away.  I am sorry for doing so this past week."

"You have every reason not to wish to expose our relationship to the world," Jared said.  "I do not blame you, Jen.  I merely want you to be sure that you want others to know.  By traveling, we have avoided the worst of the gossip, but this will eventually be talked about."

Jensen stopped Jared, turned them both to face each other and took Jared's other hand in his.  "Do you love me? Do you plan to be with me and stand by me always?"

"If you want me to," Jared said, "then it is all I long for, Jen.  But I am no prize for you, so if you wish this to be a secret, I am willing to be that for you.  To hide in the background, so you may never suffer for my evils."

"I shall never hide whom I love from the world.  Never.  I care not for what others might say."  Jensen leaned in and kissed Jared softly.  "I have never been a part of society and do not care if they shun me. You are the one with something to lose in that world."

"What do I have to lose?" Jared asked, tracing Jensen's face with his lips and pressing soft kisses over each fluttering eyelid.  "I have what I want right here."

Jensen sighed happily.  "Then, that's settled.  Let's ride out, and I can show you more of our property."  He turned toward the front of the house, their hands entwined once again.

Jared followed, watching Jensen rather than where he was going.  He still could not fully believe that Jensen wanted him and braced every moment for the news that their relationship was over.  "Your property is quite vast.  I did not realize the Ackles were so prosperous."

Grinning wickedly, Jensen waggled his eyebrows.  "It is not that we, as a whole, are so very prosperous.  However, my great-great-great grandmother was a king's mistress and was dowered this land upon her marriage.  She was rather scandalous, from what I've been told, and the property has passed down, managed by second sons, through my family’s history."  Jensen sketched a quick bow before resuming their walk.  "I do believe this is one of the more prosperous times of the property."

Jared chuckled at the idea of Jensen's wicked relative and surveyed the fields as far as the eye could see.  "Indeed, she must have been a favorite, for this is prime land.  And tis no surprise to me that your management has resulted in such bounty."  
   
"My focus in life was the management of this estate.  I did not leave here except when pressed into familial duty."  Jensen smiled ruefully.  "I must admit to be glad for the last duty I was called into.  I should never have met you otherwise."

"Were you not hoping marry one day, Jen?"  Jared looked around again.  "Not that I blame you for never leaving.  This place is lovely."

Jensen shook his head.  "I thought, at most, that I might marry one of the country girls one day.  Someone from the area who would be content to stay here, but truly, that never interested me.  Now I know why.  I was simply waiting for you."

Jared shut his eyes for a second and then turned to Jensen, pulling him into his arms and kissing him deeply.  He cupped the back of his head and the small of his back, devouring his mouth as if he needed the kiss to live.

Slightly surprised by the kiss, it took Jensen a moment to catch up.  But then, he kissed Jared back with all the fierceness and longing of their time apart.  He was desperate for the way Jared held him, for the way Jared made him feel cherished.

"Jensen," Jared breathed, "I'm so sorry for all the things I did, for hurting all those people and most of all, you.  I know now that I was marking time, too, just waiting for someone who could make me feel, make me hunger for the things that are real in life... not the shallow, useless pleasures I sought.  But I wish I had spent my life some other way, like you."

"But if you had never done those things, you would never have approached me."  Jensen smiled sadly.  "I am glad that you repent the hurt you caused, but if it were not for you, I should have been at Lady Jessica's mercy and we shouldn't have met.  Besides, you would not have become the man you are now, whom I love."

Jared felt a tear slide down his cheek and pressed his face into Jensen's.  He took a deep breath and pulled back.  "We shall never get anywhere at this rate."

Jensen laughed softly, too.  "Come along, let us head out and see more of the property today."

Jared nodded and pressed a kiss to Jensen's soft mouth again, before falling back in step with him.  He resolved to let them at least get mounted before he broke down again.  "My life since I met you has been a wonderful surprise."

"I am glad, for you have opened up my life to experiences and worlds I hardly knew existed."  Jensen smiled at Jared, only releasing his hand once it was time to mount their horses.  He turned to the groom.  "Please ask Mrs. Walsham to post the letter to my parents today.  Thank you."

"You keep in good contact with your parents," Jared said, swinging up easily on his horse.  He stroked the fine neck and walked him a little around the yard, waiting for Jensen.

Jensen smiled.  "I report dutifully once per week to father for his businessmen.  I will often include any local gossip I can wrangle about town."  Jensen looked away, voice a bit quieter, uncertain.  "This was an additional note this time.  About you... about us.  Once I made the decision not to hide anything, I knew I must tell them before they heard it elsewhere."

Jared sucked in a slight gasp and said, "They cannot possibly approve, Jen.  There is nothing to recommend me whatsoever to them, from my reputation to my gender."  His horse danced underneath him, picking up his nerves.

"And I do not care.  You are the one I choose, and I will not hide you."  Jensen shrugged, affecting a much more carefree attitude than he truly felt.  However, he refused to lose Jared or to hide away from the world because of their love.  "If we find we must, we can always travel to the continent."

Jared moved his horse close to Jensen's and unmindful of the groom, he tugged him into a kiss.  "My brave Jen, how far removed you are from the shy man I met.  How proud I am that you could love me."

Jensen beamed at Jared once they parted.  He knew the road ahead would not be easy, but he'd made his decision that Jared and their love was worth whatever came their way.

"All right, now we can ride."  Jared turned his horse and gestured Jensen ahead of him.  "Please."

"Of course.  I've taken you over the northern most section of the property last week, so I thought that today we'd head south.  You can meet some of the tenants that way.  There are some of their homes and farms along the route."  Jensen smiled, beamed at Jared and clicked at his horse, leading them across the first field of many.  
~~~~~~~~~~

Jared pointed to a small pond near some shady trees off the trail to the left.  "That looks like a good place to take lunch," he said, steering his mount in that direction.  "Unless there are insects in the water."

"There may be some, but not enough to bother us, I would not think."  Jensen smiled at Jared, following his direction and enjoying that Jared was getting a feel for the land.  He stroked a hand down the neck of his horse and came to a stop alongside Jared before dismounting and twisting the reins around a tree branch.

Jared dismounted and fashioned a makeshift hobble for his horse, before strolling to the water.  He gazed at his reflection and then turned back to Jensen.  "Will you teach me soon how I may be of assistance on your land?  I fear I   
shall have to be a farmhand to do you any good."

"Of course, I shall teach you.  Anything you would like to know."  Jensen smiled, holding his hand out to Jared.  "I had the cook pack us a picnic to enjoy the afternoon."

Jared took Jensen's hand and stepped into him, leaning down for another kiss.  He stroked down his spine and then cupped his full ass in gentle hands, even as his tongue roved deeper.  "A picnic, how delightful.  May I feast on you?"

Jensen arched against Jared with a moan, wrapping himself around Jared and pressing them tightly together for the kiss.  He pulled back after a bit and nodded. "That should be dessert though.  Let's eat and get our talk done."

"Yes," Jared agreed softly, "there is much we still need to discuss."  He pulled a blanket off the picnic basket and spread it over the ground, before sitting on top.  With a little smile, he undid his jacket and removed his shirt, revealing his bare chest.

Sighing at the sight of Jared sprawled so indolently on the blanket, Jensen began to unpack their basket of food.  Martha had included bread, cheese, cold chicken, a few tarts and some dried meat for a later snack.  "Quite a spread here; Martha knows already how you like to eat, Jared."

Jared arched an eyebrow and said, "You already disparaging me, Jen?  There is enough to chide me for without including my appetite." 

Jensen laughed.  "It is endearing, my Jared, and I teased you about it all through Paris and Rome."  He turned more serious.  "I'd like to think we can still tease each other over such things."

"Perhaps after this discussion we can feel on easier ground about what is appropriate between us," Jared said softly.  "There is little I can take for granted anymore."

"Yes, and that is partly my doing.  I am sorry that I punished you, Jared.  I wish I'd had even a day with the information before I'd seen you."  Jensen looked out over the pond, sighing and biting at his lower lip.

Jared sat up and tilted Jensen's face to him.  "There is nothing to reproach yourself for, my Jensen.  You are all in the right here; all the evil rests on my doorstep.  I deserved your scorn and much worse.  Indeed, my punishment has been light.  I feared never to see you again, which is all I deserved."  He kissed Jensen.  "It would have broken me."

"You also deserved my love and trust.  For what is love without trust and you had, not once, ever shown me a reason to believe you untrustworthy."  Jensen kissed Jared back, eyes damp with regret.  "I know the man you are, and I am sorry that I made you feel less for your past.  You are of the few people I could ever say never made me feel less for mine."

"There is nothing for you to be ashamed of," Jared said, stroking Jensen's sides and taking one of his hands in his own.  "I planned to tell you myself and deeply wish it had been from my lips that you had heard the truth.  Pray, how did you find out what I had been?"

Twisting his face into a grimace, Jensen sighed.  "Lady Jessica Alba."  He bit his lip and looked regretful.  "I denied what she told me, rather vehemently, at first.  She teased me for my love of you and told me that once you'd realized it and had enough of me that you would leave me... that you would use a ruse such as visiting your family to simply disappear and not be heard from again."

Jared sighed and looked away for a long moment.  "I would be more angry with her, were she not so well modeled after me.  I was her first lover and taught her all I knew of the arts of seduction and heart-breaking.  Her heart was ice even then, and she was an apt pupil.  I knew when I prevented her conquest of you that she would revenge herself upon us both, if she could.  I simply did not care."

"A former lover scorned then?  Or was it that you thwarted her and won me?"  Jensen's tone was slightly bitter still.  He could forgive Jared now because they had fallen in love, but was well aware of what would have become of him if Jared hadn't fallen.

"Merely that I thwarted her at all," Jared said softly.  "She had her mind set to have you, and I prevented that.  The rest mattered not."  He heard the bitterness in Jensen’s tone and pulled back.

"Why is she thus, Jared?" Jensen asked, reaching out instinctively to keep Jared close.  "Whatever the reason, I am truly glad that you stepped in.  When I saw you first at the wedding party, she'd just finished saying all of those nasty things."  He chuckled harshly.  "I do remember that she was shocked you came, but then you moved into another man's arms, and she took the opportunity to poison my thoughts again."

"I know not why some hearts are poisoned so, Jen, though I know her family loves her not and has never paid her any but the most perfunctory of attentions.  Perhaps she made such walls around her heart to protect herself from cruelties and struck out at the world because it had been cruel to her."  Jared smiled at the mention of Gabriel and nodded.  "Yet another from my past, whom I have wronged.  But he wished us luck in our new life, so I am heartened that perhaps I have not harmed everyone."

Jensen smiled.  "I am certain there are a few, at least, who are gladdened for having known and loved you.  I am truly sorry that I let her words come between us.  Can you forgive me?"

"Forgive you for what?" Jared asked. "You have nothing to reproach yourself for, Jen. You were right not to trust me, after what Lady Jessica told you."

"You deserved my trust, Jared. And I failed you in that." Jensen tipped his mouth up for a kiss. "Regardless of what she said, I should have trusted in you."

Jared rubbed Jensen's shoulder and said, "You are indeed the sweetest man in the world, Jen. I cannot believe you are asking me for forgiveness. My beautiful Jensen." He stroked Jensen's cheek and kissed him again.

Jensen kissed Jared, leaning into his body and wrapping his arms around Jared's shoulders. Though he understood Jared's point, Jensen still didn't feel it was at all reasonable that he'd left Jared in doubt for so long when he should have trusted him.

Jared pulled Jensen into his lap and gently began to remove his coat, wanting to touch bare skin. "How do you feel now, about everything I've done?"

"I do not like what you have done, but your past is your past. So long as you are good to me, my love, then your past can stay in the past." Jensen slipped his arms back so that Jared could disrobe him.

Jared peeled off Jensen's coat and then slowly undid the buttons of his shirt with one hand. "I love you, Jen. I wish I were as unspoiled as you are." He snuggled Jensen to his chest.

Jensen smiled, leaning into Jared. "I do not wish you other than you are, my Jared. I fell in love with you."

Jared stroked Jensen's cheek and pushed off his shirt. His hands cupped Jensen's chest and rubbed over the skin, thumbs pressing into his nipples at the same time. "I want to love you, Jen."

"Please love me, Jared. I have missed you, have missed your touch." Jensen leaned back, catching himself on his elbows on the blanket.

Jared eased himself over and on top of Jensen, pressing him into the ground. He fitted them together the way they naturally slotted, capturing Jensen's lips and pressing his tongue inside. He trailed his fingers down Jensen's spine and slid one under Jensen's waistband. "You're lovely."

"And you are mine. My Jared, my love." Jensen pressed into Jared's body.

Jared caressed Jensen's face and smiled at him. "Do you want our lunch first? I had forgotten in the heat of having you near."

Jensen shook his head. Now that Jared was touching him again, he didn't want his lover to stop. "Please love me, Jared. I need you."

"How do you want this, Jen?" Jared asked, nipping under his jaw and then nuzzling down his neck. He thought he might drown in the good, clean scent of Jensen.

"I want to be able to see your face, look into your eyes." Jensen tipped his head to the side so Jared could nibble as much as he wanted.

"You want to be completely intimate?" Jared asked, rubbing Jensen's ass so he would know what he meant.

"Please, I need you." Jensen pressed himself into Jared's hand, more than aware of what Jared meant.

"You could have me," Jared said, nipping Jensen's jaw and then licking away the sting. "Might be fairer."

"Please," Jensen begged. "Need you inside me, my Jared. Want to feel you."

"Shh shh," Jared said, soothing Jensen. "Please, there is no need to beg me, Jen. I am as eager as you. More, perhaps." He rose above Jensen and began to unfasten Jensen's pants with neat movements of his wrist. "Want to put my mouth on you first."

Jensen threaded his hand through Jared's hair. "Yes, please. Anything you want, my Jared."

Jared kissed Jensen's stomach and then sucked a small mark beside his navel. "No, Jen, what we want." He pulled off Jensen's trousers and undergarments and then just stared down at him, mouth watering.

"Want you nude, then. Want to be able to see you and touch you." Jensen tugged at Jared's trousers, trying to tug them apart and down to get his lover naked.

Jared pulled away Jensen's hand and kissed each fingertip, before sucking the index in his mouth.  He shut his eyes and concentrated on making the finger dripping, before finally letting go.  And then he stood in a graceful motion and shed the remainder of his clothes.  Standing above Jensen and gazing down at him, Jared breathed, "You are Adonis in flesh."

Jensen blushed and shook his head.  "It is you who are the Adonis, my Greek God standing over me."  He smiled and held out his hand in invitation.  "You are too far away, my Jared.  Please join me here, wrapped around me where you belong."

Jared moved to lie beside Jensen and then pulled him into his arms for a sweet kiss.  He pressed their bodies together, rubbing skin to skin.  His erection pressed into Jensen's, and he thrust slowly into him.  When he came up for air, he barely paused before dotting little kisses over his face and neck.

"I have missed you, my Jared.  Nothing can compare to being with you in any and all ways."  Jensen stroked Jared's head, fingers tangling in his hair before he cupped Jared's neck and tugged him back up for more kisses.

Jared stroked Jensen's back and sides, sighing into their kisses.  "I missed you, as well, my Jensen.  Longed to touch you, kiss you, have you close.  As much as I was glad to see my family, I ached for you."

"No more shall we be parted, though I am glad that you are on the way to mending your family strife."  Jensen bit his lip and looked at Jared, suddenly worried.  "I did not think, my Jared, but would a relationship with me put that in jeopardy again?"

Jared shook his head and said, "It does not matter to me, my Jen.”

Jensen clutched Jared tighter.  "Kiss me?"

Jared tilted his head and claimed Jensen's mouth for a long, thorough kiss and then rubbed their noses together affectionately and shifted so Jensen lay half under him.  "I want to love you now, my simple country boy.  May I?"

Jensen grinned, nodding.  "Please Jared."

Jared laughed a little at the silly grin on Jensen's face and then went about kissing it off of him.  He pressed him back on the blanket and began to work his way down his body, lavishing every inch with kisses and nips.  "You are perfect, Jen." 

"Perfect for you," Jensen breathed, hands all tangled in Jared's hair.  He rubbed his fingers over Jared's scalp, massaging his head and holding him, but letting him set his own pace and direction.

Jared traveled down Jensen's stomach, licking into the navel and then nuzzled the curls of his groin.  "Dreamed of doing this," he murmured, before kissing over Jensen's erection and then swallowing the head.

Jensen moaned, head tipping back and throat arching.  He dropped his hands to the blanket and tugged at it.  "My Jared."

Jared held Jensen's hips down so he could tease him by going as slow and fast as he wanted.  He sucked the head for a long moment, before trailing his teeth down the vein on the bottom and then licking back up the same path.  "Taste so good."

Helpless in the face of Jared's mastery, Jensen whimpered and cried out.  He arched and strained against Jared's hold, but only because he wanted as much of Jared as he could possibly get.  "Jared, oh god."

Jared kept Jensen pinned to the ground, even as he opened his mouth wide and slid all the way down Jensen's erection.  He shut his eyes as his nose pressed into tight curls and swallowed around the thick intrusion.  Humming softly, he began to bob his head up and down. 

Jensen cried out, helpless sounds that tore from him when Jared swallowed him deep inside.  The way Jared could contract around Jensen and then drag up his length to swirl around the head never failed to make Jensen lose all sense of the world around him.

Jared pulled off and licked at just the slit, wiggling his tongue a little.  He pushed back down and began to piston up and down at a wicked pace.  But then he reached down to the base of Jensen's cock and squeezed to slow him down.

"Oh! Jared, please."  Jensen arched into Jared hard.  His body was so close, so ready for his orgasm and to be denied left him trembling and panting.

"What, Jen?" Jared asked, all innocent, wide eyes.  He sucked the very tip thoroughly, watching Jensen's reactions with great pleasure.  
   
Jensen jerked in Jared's arms, body tightening and craving release.  "Please, my Jared.  Please let me finish.  Need it so much."

Jared released the base and took Jensen all the way in his throat, pulling Jensen's hips up hard.  He swallowed hard around Jensen and hoped that would be enough.

The second Jared released him, Jensen screamed his pleasure aloud.  His body convulsed with Jared sucking him down hard, coming into his lover's throat while he tore at the surface of the blanket.

Jared managed all of Jensen with practiced ease and then lowered his lover back to the blanket.  He lifted his head and pressed a soft kiss on Jensen's spent cock.  Pushing himself up to kiss Jensen's mouth, he whispered, "You scream as if I were hurting you."

"Oh no, my Jared.  It was wonderful.  Just, it had been so long."  Jensen moaned softly, pulling Jared in close to rub against him with a sigh.  "So very long without you."

Jared kissed Jensen's full lips and then rested his forehead against him, feeling content and basking in the sensation.  "Too long.  We shall make sure not to deprive you in the future.  Jen... had you ever really found release before me?"

Jensen blushed and looked away before he shook his head.  "Nay, not really.  Sometimes I would wake to find myself thrusting into the bed until I exploded or would wake already wet, but I never really understood it."

Jared sighed and nuzzled under Jensen's neck, kissing his fluttering pulse.  "I love you so much," he breathed.  "My precious Jensen." 

Blushing harder, Jensen looked shyly at Jared.  "I love you, too.  And I am glad you never think I am backward or slow in these matters.  I so wished I knew more so that I could please you better."

"We have been learning together," Jared said, stroking over Jensen's ass.  He slipped a finger between the cheeks and over the ring of muscle.  "And none have pleased me as you do."

"But you are more experienced, you know what you want more than I do."  Jensen lifted his gaze to Jared's, wriggling back against his hand.  "You have been with more experienced lovers."

"But none I loved," Jared said, spreading his hand flat to cup and caress Jensen's rear.  "And for all that I scorned the idea before, that makes all the difference."

"Does it truly?"  Jensen arched against Jared and cupped the back of Jared's neck.  "I couldn't imagine being this close and not loving you."

"You are very tactile," Jared said.  "So sensual, without seeming to even know."  He pressed his own erection against Jensen's thighs and rutted slowly.  "All grace."

Jensen flushed again, but was pleased that was how Jared saw him.  "I see the same in you.  You move so fluidly, every touch a tender one that makes me feel so good.  What can I do to give that back to you?"

"Touch me, Jen.  However you wish."  Jared lay back on the blankets and spread himself out as a banquet for Jensen.  
"Truly?"  Jensen looked at Jared's body, fingers lightly tracing over the jut of one hipbone.  "Any way I wish?"

"Whatever you wish," Jared affirmed and shut his eyes with a sigh.  He wanted to just feel whatever Jensen did to him.

When Jared closed his eyes, Jensen grinned.  It was a smile that stretched across his face and he hummed softly.  "I've been wanting to just see you, to touch you for so long."  Dragging his fingers low over Jared's belly, Jensen traced the line of his other hipbone before shifting into a seated position next to his lover.  He trailed fingers down both of Jared's thighs, touching the muscles and then sliding to touch the soft skin of his inner thighs.

"Mmm.  Such a soft touch you are, Jen," Jared said.  He spread his legs wider, ignoring the ache from his already leaking erection.  He wanted Jensen to take his time.

"It is a pleasure to see you in such a light, to be able to touch you all over like this."  Jensen shifted again and dragged one hand up to trail his fingers over the sack hanging between Jared's thighs now that he'd shifted his legs apart.  "There is so much to explore."  Leaning down, Jensen nipped at licked Jared's hipbone, loving the way his body was cut so defined in that area.

Jared groaned a little at the touch to between his legs and then the way Jensen licked his hip. "There is a lot of me," he said. "Thought I might never stop growing."

Jensen chuckled. "It certainly seems as though you have not." Jensen reached out and stroked one finger along the underside of Jared's cock. He breathed out over the damp skin on Jared's hip and then dragged the light stubble on his cheek over the sensitive skin.

"Oh Jensen," Jared hissed and opened his eyes to watch Jensen touch him. "I'm going to finish just from your teasing me."

Turning to look up at Jared, Jensen tilted his head and arched an eyebrow. "Is that not all right? If you prefer something other, please tell me." Jensen leaned down and pressed a kiss to Jared's hip.

Jared chuckled and tugged Jensen up for a kiss. He cradled Jensen's head and rubbed gently at his scalp. "Mind? How can you even think such a thing? I love your touches."

"Yes, but I want to do what you want us to do for your completion, my Jared." Jensen glanced down and then back up with a sweep of his lashes. "I am still unskilled with my mouth, but I would be happy to try again if you wish.

"Do you wish?" Jared asked. "There are some people who do not care for the act. I am not one of them, but if you find it odious, I would not ask it of you."

Jensen turned and looked at Jared's body. He trailed one finger up the length again and then over the head and slit to gather a drop of moisture. "I cannot imagine finding anything about you odious." With a smile, Jensen sucked the tip of his finger in his mouth.

"Please do anything you wish to, my Jen," Jared said. "I shall love whatever you decide." He lay fully back again and closed his eyes. "Please let me know if you want me to move in any particular way."

"Just tell me if I do anything wrong." Jensen flicked his tongue over Jared's hipbone again and then very lightly at the tip of Jared's cock. The musky scent that was all Jared invaded Jensen's senses when he leaned over a bit more to slide his tongue from the tip down toward the base.

"Oh yes, Jen, please," Jared moaned and forced himself not to thrust into the warm tongue.  He gripped the blanket tightly and thrashed a little under the teasing tongue.  "Never do anything wrong as long as you're touching me."

Jensen pulled back slightly, licking his lips after the taste.  It was a bit like salt, but with the heady musk of Jared's scent there as well.  Leaning in again, Jensen flicked his tongue over the sacks beneath Jared's cock, learning their shape and the unusually wrinkly texture.  He hummed softly and closed his eyes while he tasted Jared.

Jared moaned and rubbed a hand over Jensen's head gently.  "Have to treat that with care, Jen."  He stroked Jensen's cheek, before dropping his hand back to the blanket.  "Want me to do anything?"

"Not unless you want to.  I am enjoying being able to explore you."  Jensen pressed a kiss to Jared's sack and then moved back up to lick at the base of his cock.  He rearranged himself, pushing between Jared's thighs for better access.  "Tell me if I need to do anything differently," he said just before wrapping his hand around the base of Jared's cock and curling his tongue around the head.

"Jensen!" Jared yelled, startled by the sudden, bold action of his lover.  His hips jerked up, wanting desperately to thrust, before he slammed them right back to the blanket.  "A warning is always nice," he said around gasps.

Jensen jerked his head back, startled at Jared's yell and violent movements.  He kept his hand curled around his lover, but looked up in concern and then chuckled softly.  "I am sorry, my love, but I thought you knew what I was doing."

"I didn't expect you to be so... assertive," Jared huffed with a rueful grin.  He kept still, since Jensen held him, but reached out to Jensen, wanting a kiss.

Releasing Jared, Jensen moved up his body.  "Do you not want me to be assertive?" he asked, settling next to Jared on the blanket again.

Jared pulled Jensen into a kiss and pinched his ass gently.  "Do not put words in my mouth, Jen.  I merely did not expect it.  I want you to be whatever you wish to be."

Jensen kissed Jared again, so grateful that his lover wanted him to be himself.  "I am glad, my Jared.  Can I go back to exploring you now?" he asked, eyes twinkling at Jared.

"Mmm, I don't know if I can let go," Jared said, hands tightening around Jensen's back and ass.  "I'm rather addicted to holding on to you."  He bit down gently on Jensen's neck and began to suck up a small mark.

Tipping his head back, Jensen groaned and rocked into Jared's body.  "And I love being held by you, my Jared."

Jared pressed against Jensen again, eager and hungry.  "But you wish to finish what you have begun?"  
"Yes, I want to taste you like you have tasted me."  Jensen blushed at the open admission.

Jared kissed each blushing cheek and then rubbed his right cheek against Jensen's.  "All right, my Jen.  Take whatever you desire."  He released him and fell back on the blanket.  "I am yours."

Jensen kissed his way down Jared's chest, the way his lover had done for him before.  He stopped and swirled his tongue around each nipple, but Jensen continued his way down until he was securely positioned between Jared's thighs with a hand wrapped at the base of his cock.  "I am going to lick you now, Jared." he warned before swirling his tongue around the head again.

Jared's laugh turned into a gasp at the feel of tongue over his sensitive head.  "God, Jen.  So good.  Suck me, please."

Grinning to himself, Jensen slid his tongue over the tip and then wrapped his lips around the head and sucked gently on it.  It felt odd to have his mouth stretched, to suck on Jared.  He flicked his tongue and then suckled again, gently and slowly.

Jared watched Jensen through slitted eyes, enchanted by the sight of his shy lover carefully sucking and exploring him.  "So good, Jen," he encouraged.  "I love the way you touch me."

Jensen pulled off with a flick of his tongue over the slit.  "I love the way you taste, my Jared."  He grinned and then leaned forward again and slid his mouth over the head to suck a bit faster and harder, though still being fairly easy.

Jared whined high in his throat and shut his eyes.  "Jen.  Jen, you're torturing me.  Can you- would it be all right for you to take more inside?"

"Of course," Jensen murmured, pulling back to look at Jared.  He smiled, stroking Jared's thigh with his free hand and then leaned forward to suck the head back in his mouth.  Taking a breath, Jensen slid his head forward and down so that more of Jared was encased in his mouth.  He swallowed, sucked and tried to lick along Jared's cock as best he could.

Jared used his experience to school his body and not thrust into Jensen's mouth.  He wanted Jensen to enjoy this.  "You're doing so well, my Jen," he crooned.  "Please do what feels right to you."

The movement was a bit awkward, and Jensen shifted his body until he was above Jared.  He experimented with lifting and lowering his head so that his mouth dragged up and down Jared's cock.  Jensen quickly found that he couldn't keep up all of the movements, so he concentrated on sucking Jared tightly with each up and down of his head.

"You look so lovely, my Jen, learning to give me such pleasure.  Shall I finish in your mouth?"  Jared could hold on for hours, but knew climaxing would help Jensen's sense of pride in his efforts.

Jensen sucked one last time before pulling up.  He was already getting hard again and shook his head.  "No, please... want you to love me, to be inside me."  He crawled up Jared's body and kissed him deeply.

Jared enjoyed his flavor in Jensen's mouth and felt where his lover was hard against him.  "You're lovely, Jen, and I would never deny either of us the pleasure you seek."

"Then love me, my Jared."  Jensen grinned at his lover and pressed his body ever closer to Jared's, rocking them together with a soft little moan.

Jared rolled them over and lay Jensen beneath him, pressing more firmly against him.  "You are such a sensual man.  How did you live celibate and alone?  What a shame it would have been for you to never have known these pleasures." 

"I knew nothing other than how I lived.  Did not know such things were even possible."  Jensen smiled, pressing up and into Jared's body.  "I want to know them now, but only with you."

"You are mine," Jared said softly.  "You have chosen me despite my flaws, my reputation, and I will keep you close and make sure you never regret your decision.  I will never touch another, my Jen, as I touch you now.  And I will hold you close to my heart always."

Jensen smiled.  "I know or I should not have chosen you."  He wrapped himself tightly around Jared and stole a deep kiss.

Possessed by a fierce desire to protect and keep Jensen near, Jared tightened his arms around him and kissed him until they both needed to gasp for air.  He reached between them to fist Jensen's cock and stroke it, before drifting further back to roll his sack between careful fingers.  "Do you have something for us to use inside you?"

"I do not."  Jensen's face fell.  He'd not planned for them to be intimate on their lunch, but now cursed himself for not thinking the possibility through.

Jared kissed him and said, "No need to frown, my Jen.  We shall have to improvise."  He moved to the basket and dug around, finally pulling out a small bottle.  Uncorking it, he sniffed the contents and smiled.  "A little oil for our salad."

Jensen looked at Jared, wide-eyed.  "So, I shall be covered in salad oil?"  He chuckled.  "At least I shall smell enticing."  He stroked one finger down Jared's cheek.

Jared tilted his head into the finger and then caught the tip in his mouth, sucking.  "You do not have to," he said, setting the bottle aside.  "However, vegetable oil works well, when you are not carrying regular supplies." 

"I would happily use whatever is at hand, my Jared, if it should mean that you would be inside me.  I care not that it is salad oil."  Jensen groaned at the way Jared sucked his finger.

Jared laughed a little at Jensen's enthusiasm and then popped the cork on the salad oil.  "It shall also make you more flavorable when I lick you."  He carefully doled some oil on his fingers and then reached between Jensen's legs to rub it over the exterior of his muscle.  "I need you on your back, legs wide for me, yes?"

Jensen nodded, an attack of shyness coming over him.  He rolled onto his back and spread his thighs, bending the knees and bringing them up slightly so that Jared could fit between them to do what he needed to.

Jared bent over Jensen and kissed him, loving the shyness in his gaze.  "This is going to be so good, I promise."  He slid down and winked at Jensen wickedly, before pressing his face between Jensen's spread thighs.  With one hand, he rolled Jensen like an armadillo and exposed his hole.  His tongue whipped out and licked over the muscle between his cheeks, before wiggling around it.

"Oh!" Jensen cried out, hands dropping to the blanket again and twisting in them tight.  He tugged on it each time Jared's tongue dipped, arching into the pleasurable touch.  His cock twitched and hardened even more.

Jared spread Jensen's cheeks wider and snuck his tongue deep inside, tugging at the muscle and trying to loosen it.  He shut his eyes and leaned forward until his face pressed even more intimately against Jensen.  He hummed in contentment as he savored Jensen's musky odor and flavor, combined with the oil.

Whimpers, cries and moans were all that Jensen was capable of as Jared worked him.  His body ached with the pleasure, rolled back almost on his shoulders while Jared delved in to explore every nook and cranny of him.  "Please," he moaned out.  "Please, my Jared.  I need you."

Jared understood and pulled his tongue out, gently laying Jensen back on the blanket.  He poured more oil on his fingers and then carefully pressed one inside Jensen.  He moved slowly, since this was only Jensen's second time, and helped the muscle relax around him.  "I'm here, Jen," he soothed.  "I'm not going anywhere."  
   
"My Jared," Jensen breathed out, wriggling slightly to get used to the feeling of something inside his body again. 

"Yours," Jared affirmed and wiggled his finger deeper inside.  "How does that feel, Jen?  Do you feel your body opening for me, wanting me inside again?"

"Yes, I want... something more."  Jensen grabbed his legs behind the knee and pulled back so that he was exposed to Jared.  "Want all of you."

Jared hissed in shocked delight and slid his finger all the way in.  He pressed down on Jensen's prostate and rubbed over the little bump repeatedly, using that as a distraction to start his second finger pushing inside. 

Jensen keened when Jared his his sweet spot.  His body trembled from the pleasure, and he tipped his head back, gasping for breath.  His hands shook where they held his legs, and Jensen knew from before that it was only going to get better.

Jared soothed Jensen with soft kisses to his belly and sides.  "You are doing so well, my Jen.  You are so lovely, holding yourself open for me.  Do you want more, hmm?  Tell me you wish more from me."

"I wish you to be inside me, Jared.  I want your body in mine.  Please."  Jensen forced his eyes open, tilting his head so Jared could see how much he wanted, how much he ached.

Jared spread his fingers to loosen the muscles more and then twisted slowly to keep working Jensen open.  "Your body isn't quite ready yet, Jen.  We'll get there soon.  Promise."

Jensen huffed out a sigh of frustration.  "Do not want to wait.  Want you now...please hurry, Jared."

Jared laughed and nipped Jensen's thigh.  "You are being very impatient, my love.  You cannot rush perfection."

"Patience is not my strong suit where you are concerned."  Jensen huffed another breath and then dropped his head back onto the ground.  He tugged his legs back again and tried to wriggle down on Jared's fingers.

"Well, eagerness has much to recommend it," Jared said, pressing his two finger all the way in and rubbing over Jensen's prostate again.  When his lover reacted to that touch, he slammed a third finger in, all the way.

"Jared!" Jensen cried out, feeling his cock twitch and leak.  "Oh god, please.  Need you."  He writhed on his lover's fingers, spreading himself wider for Jared.

Jared nodded and removed his fingers from Jensen.  Grabbing the oil, he emptied the rest of the content on his hands and quickly slicked himself up.  He positioned the head of his cock at Jensen's open hole and said, "Here we go, Jen," before pushing inside.

Jensen bit at his lip, grunted softly at the first press of Jared's cock stretching him wide open and then moaned when Jared slid inside him him.  It felt good, right and just where he wanted Jared to be in that moment.  "Oh god, so good."  He wrapped his legs around Jared's hips and then reached up to tug Jared down into a heated kiss.

Jared groaned as Jensen accepted him into his body and pushed in slowly, gasping at each inch Jensen took inside.  "You're so perfect around me.  I want to thrust in so fast."

"Please.  Don't stop, don't hold back."  Jensen arched against Jared, dragging his hands down from Jared's shoulders to his hips where he tugged his lover closer.

Jared gripped Jensen's hips and thrust hard into Jensen's body.  He arched his head and peppered Jensen's face with kisses.  "How is that, Jen?"

Jensen groaned, arching his back and holding on to Jared's shoulders.  "So good, Jared.  Feels so amazing to have you inside me."

Jared smiled at Jensen's response and continued to pound into him, wanting to give Jensen what he desired.  His strong muscles rippled with each thrust, and he began to pull Jensen into each one.  "Love this, Jensen."

Jensen cried out each time Jared hit his sweet spot, vision blurring when the pleasure built higher and higher.  

Jared slowed down suddenly, wanting to draw things out.  His thrusts became shallow, and he gripped the base of Jensen's cock again to bring him back down a little.  "Easy, Jen.  Easy."

Jensen moaned, arching and twisting against Jared.  He dug his fingers into Jared's back and clung tight while writhing against Jared's body.  "Jared," he breathed out.

Jared felt the sting of strong fingers in his back muscles and said, "Trying to mark me, Jen?  Want me to wear your claim on my skin?"

"Oh fuck, yes.  Mine!" Jensen yelled, wrapping his legs tighter around Jared's hips and pulling him in close.

Chuckling at the dirty language he never expected from Jensen, Jared kissed Jensen's full mouth, slipping his tongue inside.  "Naughty Jensen.  Where did you learn words like that?"

Jensen chuckled.  "I was sheltered, but I was raised in the country, my Jared  I have heard many such things."  He lifted his head, arching up and pressing his mouth to Jared's.

"Have you?" Jared asked slyly, pressing into Jensen slow and easy now.  "And do you approve of a little more earthy talk?"

"It can be quite satisfying."  Jensen grinned at Jared, writhing against the blanket and dragging him in closer and harder.

Jared's smile increased, and he crooned, "You make me so horny, Jen, I'm all-fired up to fuck you like a seed ox.  I want to screw you right through this blanket, until your balls fall off from overuse."

Groaning, Jensen arched under Jared.  "Gods yes, please, Jared.  Fuck me, please fuck me.  Want to feel you come inside me."

Jared growled at Jensen's response to his words and began to thrust into him as hard and fast as possible.  He peppered little biting kisses all over his heaving chest and throat, before kissing his mouth.  Every muscle in his body strained, as he worked to bring them both to climax.

Jensen rolled his head back, thrust his hips up and in to Jared's movements.  He keened with every stroke and suddenly, unexpectedly, one thrust of Jared inside him with Jensen's cock rubbing along Jared's hipbone, and Jensen was coming. 

Jared loved the noises Jensen made so helplessly when he thrust into him, and the way he suddenly spilled between them heated Jared's blood even more.  He pressed deep inside Jensen a few more times, before letting himself go.  His hips always lost their rhythm as he came, so he jittered and pressed wildly for a few moments before calming. 

Panting for breath, Jensen wrapped himself completely around Jared for a moment before his body bonelessly collapsed onto the blanket.  He chuckled softly and dragged one hand up to card lazily through Jared's hair.  "Love you," he murmured.

"Wow," Jared said, breathing just as hard.  He eased to the side and stroked Jensen's belly and pinched each nipple lazily.  "You are amazing, my own.  I long to feel you inside me one day."

"You do?"  Jensen asked, rolling his head to the side.  He loved the way Jared touched him, the lightness in his fingertips and the knowing quality in the way they elicited shivers and moans.

"If you would enjoy it, my Jensen, then I should like you to know the pleasure of being the one inside your lover.  There is a great deal of power from that position, but also responsibility."  Jared let his hand meander down the soft skin of Jensen's thighs and brush over the side of his spent cock.  "You are gorgeous."

"Some day, my Jared."  Jensen shivered again, rolling slightly so he could press against Jared.  "I should like to try that some day."

Jared scooped Jensen to him and cradled his head on a shoulder.  "I thought I had lost you," he whispered.  "That night, at Mack's wedding party... I saw how much I had hurt you and thought you would never take me back this way."

"I could not see past the hurt that night," Jensen admitted, low voice pressed to Jared's ear.  "All I could see was you with that man and that you were not truly interested in me.  But then I took time to think- about you, about us and how you came back.  You did what you were not supposed to do according to your game.  You came back to me, and all I could remember was the pain in your eyes."  He burrowed in closer, clinging to Jared and thankful to have him back in his life.

Jared cradled Jensen like the precious man he was and kissed over all the skin he could reach.  "Your heart is so giving, my Jensen.  You forgave me far more easily than I deserved... and then apologized for hurting me.  As if you were at fault   
for anything."  He hid his face in Jensen's neck.

Jensen chuckled and nuzzled Jared's ear.  "I was at fault for not trusting you, and you deserved my apology for that.  I shall always take responsibility where it is due, my love."

"I was not trustworthy, therefore your lack of trust was justified," Jared responded, feeling warm and drowsy and so loved.

"Ah, but you were always trustworthy to me, my Jared.  You never disappointed me, never did anything that should have made me listen to Lady Jessica."  Jensen sighed, disappointed in himself for letting her slanderous tongue get the better of him... even if only for a week.

Jared smiled and pressed more kisses to Jensen's skin.  "You are too hard on yourself, my Jen.  You are only human, after all.  And in the end, we are together, are we not?  That is all that truly matters."

Jensen smiled.  It really was the only thing that mattered to him.  "We are together.  Wait until Mack returns from her trip."

"What about her return?" Jared asked, pulling back to look at Jensen.  
"She is simply going to be thrilled."  Jensen smiled at Jared, tracing a finger over his brow.  "Mack was quite worried the night she left, she knew things were troubled and was afraid we would lose each other - that I would lose you."

"How much did you tell her of us?" Jared asked, remembering the looks Mack kept giving Jensen that night. 

Jensen flushed bright red.  "I told her all.  I could not hide how happy I was, how much I was in love, and she guessed the rest.  Mack is highly supportive of us being happy together, my Jared."

"You are lucky that your sister will accept our love for each other.  I am lucky, too, for I like Mack.  She is an amazing woman.  Lord Asherton could not have made a better choice... unless he happened to love you."  Jared nuzzled Jensen's red cheeks.

Jensen chuckled and leaned into Jared.  "He is so adorably smitten with Mack, and she with him."  He looked at Jared seriously after a breath.  "You know that no matter what anyone else says, I want to be with only you and they can go hang.  Yes?"

"If you believe the same for me, my Jensen," Jared said.  "You make that most clear with your actions and your expressions.  You are not one to hide your feelings."  
Smiling, Jensen leaned in and kissed Jared.  "Then we shall both be happy all our lives."  
~~~~~~~~~~


	9. Epilogue

Jared leaned against an old elm and watched Lord Asherton chase his twin sons around the lawn, all three laughing like loons.  Mackenzie sat to the side, chatting amiably with Lady Ackles and Jensen.  The perfect scene made him smile, and he settled even more comfortably against the trunk, content to simply be still.

Jensen laughed at Mackenzie's mock outrage over the boys getting so riled up.  He and Jared were equally guilty of inciting them, and he couldn't help but seek out his lover's gaze, reaching out to rest his hand on Jared's leg.  They'd been together for a long time now, through many ups and downs, living their life together mainly in the country, and he wouldn't have it any other way.  "It is good to have you here, Mother.  Shall you be staying awhile this time?"

Lady Ackles smiled at her son and his lover, who for all the world she thought of as his husband.  She had taken awhile to accept their relationship, but understood now how much Jared meant to Jensen and appreciated how her son had blossomed in the sun of his love.  "We shall see, Jensen.  Your brother is threatening to debut his daughter next year, which means his wife shall need some help."  She fluttered her fan in thought of the somewhat hysterical creature Joshua had married.

"Marissa can always use your assistance, Mother.  She hardly knows how to decide on their meals."  Jensen shook his head and thanked everything he knew that Jared had come into his life before he'd been pushed into marriage.  “Jared and I would love for you to stay as long as you like.  We miss spending time with you when you are in town."

Jared glanced over at Lady Ackles and smiled a little, knowing she did not need his words to understand he welcomed her presence.  He returned his attention to the games on the lawn, feeling regret that he could not bear Jensen children.  It was the only regret in his life.  
   
Mackenzie snorted indelicately.  "I am surprised her children have managed to survive, given Josh and Marissa's rather poor parenting skills."  
   
Jensen chuckled, dipping his head.  Mackenzie had taken to family and children the way she had everything else and didn't suffer fools.  "Well, she does not have your spirit or Mother's calming nature.  I love when you bring the kids, Mack.  This place used to ring with the sounds of children." 

Jared winced subtly and dropped his hand over Jensen's, stroking in quiet apology for being inadequate.  
   
Lady Ackles set down her tea.  "It is a shame that Joshua will not accept your relationship, for their children would do good to visit here and learn from the two of you."

Jensen flushed, both at the thought of being good for someone and at the pain of his brother's unwillingness to accept his relationship with Jared.  "Aye, Mother, but that is Josh's misfortune and not ours."  Jensen turned his hand and laced it with Jared's, bringing it to his lips for a kiss, before settling it comfortably back on his leg.  "I was thinking we might look into an orphanage and see if there are some children who could use a country home."  Not looking at Jared, since he'd not actually mentioned the idea to his lover yet, Jensen smiled at his mother.

Both of Jared's eyebrows rose, and he said softly, "You are a man of a most generous heart, Jensen, but I fear there are few places who will allow men such as ourselves to adopt a child."  
   
Lade Ackles beamed at her son, proud to her bones.  "Nonsense.  A few well placed words, and you shall be able to adopt as many children as you desire."  She patted Jensen's cheek.  "You will make a fine father, Jensen.  I have always thought so."

Blushing hotly, Jensen smiled his thanks at his mother and then turned to Jared.  "I should like to try... if you are amenable." 

"I do not know what sort of a father I will make, Jen, but if you wish to have children, I would never deny you that wish.  This place deserves another generation to grow up here and appreciate its value."  Jared squeezed Jensen's hand and pressed a kiss to the knuckles. 

"You shall be a marvelous father, with many things to teach our children."  Jensen beamed at Jared, tugging him in for a brief, gentle kiss on his lips.  "I think it is the one thing that would make this place more of a home."

"I did not know you needed anything more to make this a home, Jen," Jared whispered.  He smiled, a trifle tremulously, and kissed Jensen's cheeks.  "I shall welcome them, Jen."

Jensen frowned immediately and shook his head.  "Oh Jared, my own, I did not mean that our family is not enough."  He sighed, feeling incapable of saying the right things to Jared sometimes.  "I meant for the house itself, for the estate.  You are all I want, all I need."

Jared studied Jensen's eyes and then said, "I do not blame you, Jen, for desiring children as part of your family.  That is not an uncommon desire, and one which you should feel no shame over.  Adopting a child is a worthy thought."  
"But you must realize that should there never be child in this home, I should not have missed anything."  Jensen bit his lip.  "Truly Jared, you are the only family I need."

Jared shook his head, eyes sad. "There is no need to lie to me, Jen," he whispered. "I know you have always longed for a more traditional family."

"No, my Jared, you are who I want, the only family I desire. You have been since the moment I fell in love with you." Jensen turned a sad gaze on Jared, heart sore at the notion that he had hurt Jared with his words.

Jared stroked Jensen's cheek, seeing the sorrow in his eyes, and kissed him softly. "I believe you, Jen." He tugged him into a long hug, forgetting everyone else.

Jensen buried his face in Jared's throat, arms wrapping around Jared's shoulders and holding him tight. "I should never need more than the life I have with you, my Jared. You are my world."

Jared pressed small kisses to Jensen's head, stroking his back. "Even if you needed children to be complete, I should not mind, Jen. Your happiness is what matters most to me. I love you."

"And I love you. I do not need them to be complete, my Jared; however, I should enjoy adding them to our family." Jensen turned his face and brushed a kiss over Jared's cheek.

Jared found Jensen's mouth and kissed him again. "A boy for you and a girl for me?" he asked with a little smile.

Jensen chuckled, brushing a soft kiss on Jared's lips. "Yes, one of each for our family."

"Both of them a little older than the easily adopted age?" Jared asked, rubbing small circles on Jensen's back.

"Yes, two children who would likely find themselves living in the orphanage for the rest of their childhood days." Jensen smiled and then pulled back with a chuckle when he caught sight of Mackenzie and his mother studiously keeping their gazes away from them.

Jared sighed and pulled back from Jensen, wishing his family were not present at the moment. He leaned back against his tree and watched the games in the lawn again. He took Jensen's hand in his own and held it tightly, though, wanting the connection.

Jensen twined their fingers together, clinging tightly to Jared. "Mother, can you look into an orphanage who should let us adopt?"

Lady Ackles inclined her head toward them both. "I would be delighted to assist you in finding a place to adopt some children. Though I will insist on spoiling rights as their grandmother."

"I should certainly hope so, Mother." Jensen chuckled and leaned into Jared's shoulder. "We can allow her that, yes my love?"

"I should be too terrified to attempt to deny Lady Ackles anything she desires," Jared said with a little bow in her direction. "And all children need a grandmother to spoil them rotten."

Mackenzie snorted and shook her head at her brother and Jared. "You two have no idea what you are in for. Mother is the best at spoiling her grandchildren."

"I would expect no less from Lady Ackles," Jared said, even as she gently bapped Mackenzie on the knuckles with her fan.

"And what of your family, Jared?" Lady Ackles asked. "Shall they not fawn over their grandchildren as well?"

Jared tensed and then shook his head a little. "They still refuse to accept my relationship with Jensen." He felt stung that the family he had left Jensen for a few fateful weeks to try and reconcile with now denied him acceptance because of whom he chose to settle with. "However, I shall write and let them know. I believe my mother does like to have news of us."

Jensen frowned and squeezed Jared's hand. He still, all these years later, felt horrid that his desire to be open about their love had cost Jared his family. "We shall definitely inform your mother once we've made the arrangements." He leaned against Jared's side and laid his head on his lover's shoulder.

Jared wrapped an arm around Jensen and held him close, pressing a kiss to his forehead. He smiled at Mack and Lady Ackles, who looked at them fondly. "She shall be happy, at any rate. All children are welcome in her heart."

"That, at least, will be a good thing. And who knows, perhaps children will be the thing to bring them around." Jensen hoped, though he did not necessarily believe it would work.

Jared smiled sadly at Jensen, loving the optimism that Jensen carried in his heart. He kissed his forehead again and buried his nose in soft, fragrant hair.

Lady Ackles tutted and patted Jensen's hand. "You must remember, it was hard even for me, dear. Parents take things with great difficulty sometimes."

"Yes, Mother, and I understand that the world does not blindly accept what we have. It is something that most fear, but it hurts my heart that Jared's family abandoned him because of me." Jensen turned pained eyes on his mother while leaning his cheek on Jared's head and holding him close.

Lady Ackles pecked a gentle kiss to Jensen's cheek and patted his shoulder. "You have always been such a sensitive man," she said. "It does you credit, but you must try not to let it hurt you so, my dear."

Jensen reached out and squeezed his mother's hand. "Yes, Mother, I shall try." He turned and kissed the top of Jared's head. "We are quite happy in our life together."

"Idyllic I would say," Jared agreed. He snuck a hand out and stole one of Mackenzie's tea sandwiches, ignoring her playful protest. "I am not as good a land manager as Jensen, but try not to be useless. And I do love this place. So much so that we have barely returned to the city since Jensen brought me here... out of temptation's way."

"Do you wish to return to the city at all, my Jared? I have not feared 'temptation' since shortly after we began to live here together." Jensen smiled at Jared, truly content and secure in their love.

"No, I am happy here," Jared said, brushing his mouth over Jensen's forehead and cheeks. "There is nothing for me there now."

"And everything for us here." Jensen smiled, a tinge of shyness coloring the edges, though he knew without a doubt that Jared meant it.

“For me, that just means you," Jared said softly, kissing Jensen's ear. "I have no other needs, except the basic ones of life."

Jensen flushed pink, his innate shyness coming to the forefront again. "And I am the same."

Mackenzie chuckled off to the side, shaking her head. "All these years and you two are as sweet with each other as you ever were."

"More," Jared said, nipping Jensen's nose and then kissing him. He reached under Jensen's legs and around his back and stood, lifting him in his arms. "And if you will excuse us, I would like a moment alone with him." He headed for the house.

Laughing, Jensen buried his head in Jared's throat and clung to him. It still thrilled and embarrassed him that Jared was able to lift and carry him the way he did.

Jared stopped behind the trees and kissed Jensen breathless. "I love your family, Jen, I really do, but... when are they leaving again? It seems we have no free time when they are around."

Jensen laughed again, a low and throaty laugh that hinted at everything Jared was feeling. "Soon, I believe. I know that Mackenzie needs to get the boys home again so they can settle into a structured life before the new baby comes... and Arthur is not keen on her riding much longer. Mother is going with them, I think... or back to Josh's brood." He leaned his head on Jared's shoulder and pressed kisses into his throat.

Jared sighed and leaned back against a sturdy trunk, Jensen still in his arms. "Your family is truly blessed, Jen. So much happiness." He nuzzled Jensen's cheek and then headed for the house again. "I would marry you and take your name, were it permitted."

"And I would gladly marry you and give you my name." Jensen chuckled when Jared made for the house. He bit his lip and then offered, "The courts do allow for changes of name, my Jared. If you wanted, when we process the adoptions, we can also alter your surname to mine... even if we cannot formally marry."

"Our children will already suffer from the prejudice of having been raised by us. I am not sure my changing my name to yours would not aggravate that difficulty." Jared walked up the stairs with his precious cargo and then in through the grand front door. "Shall I take you to bed?"

Jensen nodded. "Yes, take me to bed, my Jared... though, I can walk, if you'd like to put me down." He knew Jared wouldn't and that pleased him.

Jared twisted his head and blew a wet raspberry into Jensen's neck. "I don't want to put you down," he said primly and headed for their bedroom.

"Well, I don't really want you to put me down, but thought I should offer." Jensen chuckled and leaned in to nibble at Jared's earlobe, while he was carried to their bed like a virgin bride.

Jared paused at the door to their bedroom and smiled down at Jensen. "No matter how many days we are together, each one feels like the first and the best." He kissed Jensen's nose. "How is that possible?"

Jensen smiled at Jared, love shining from his eyes. "I think it is because we truly appreciate our love. We know that were it up to others, we should not live like this, not be together and because of that, we enjoy our time together even more.”

"How elegantly you put it, my Jen," Jared said, kissing him softly. "I have never for a moment forgotten how lucky I am to be loved by you, how much trust you put in me. And I shall never cease to show you that I return your feelings in every way I can."

"Nor I, my Jared. For I am truly blessed to be loved by you every day and for all our lives. I shall never forget that you found me and gave me the chance to experience love and what it means to truly live." Jensen leaned in to steal a kiss, brushing his lips lightly over Jared's lips.

"There is nothing more I can add to that, except I love you, Jensen. And I shall love you forever, for we are truly meant to be," Jared said and backed into their room, letting the door shut softly behind them.


End file.
